Alabama

* Kimberly Kitchen, the woman who was parading around and pretending to be a lawyer for a decade before she was caught in the act, was recently convicted of forgery, unauthorized practice of law, and felony records tampering. On the bright side, at least she doesn’t have six figures worth of law school debt to worry about right now. [WSJ Law Blog]

* President Obama published an op-ed in praise of SCOTUS nominee Merrick Garland on AL.com, pleading with Alabamians to let their senators know that it’s their duty to give Scalia’s would-be replacement a hearing and a vote, lest we “jeopardize our system of justice, hurt our democracy, and betray the vision of our founding.” [AL.com]

* Who is the real Merrick Garland? Not only does he have a “résumé that makes you want to cry,” but he’s also a pretty endearing gent. He used to want to be a doctor, he loves singing show tunes, and he was once so nervous when officiating a wedding that he began the ceremony before the bride even walked down the aisle. [New York Times]

* “We are heartened by this development and look forward to the Committee making this request directly … as is standard practice.” Republicans may be willing to accept Merrick Garland’s nominee questionnaire, but the White House has yet to receive one from Senate Judiciary Chairman Chuck Grassley or Senator Patrick Leahy. [BuzzFeed]

* Judge Pamela A.M. Campbell, who presided over Hulk Hogan v. Gawker, has had more decisions reversed on appeal than any other judge in her county, but “a judge who’s not afraid to make a decision and a not afraid to be reversed, is quite naturally going to be reversed more, and that doesn’t mean the judge is not a good judge.” [Tampa Bay Times]

* A judge has ruled that Ropes & Gray, the firm that once represented ex-New England Patriot Aaron Hernandez, must turn over the murder convict’s cellphone to his new attorneys so they can analyze it for his defense in the double murder case he’s being prosecuted for by the Suffolk County DA’s Office in Massachusetts. [Boston Herald]

* “I’ve taught immigration law literally to 3-year-olds and 4-year-olds.” Immigration Judge Jack H. Weil seems to think that children facing deportation don’t need court-appointed attorneys because they’re perfectly capable of representing themselves. We’ll have more on this later. [Washington Post]

* “[T]his will be the first time a law school will be on trial to defend its public employment figures.” It’s taken five years, but Anna Alaburda will finally get to face off in court against Thomas Jefferson School of Law. Soon we’ll find out if the word “allegedly” can stop being used as a prefix for the school’s allegedly deceptive job statistics. [DealBook / New York Times]

* If President Obama nominates Judge Jane Kelly of the Eighth Circuit for a seat on SCOTUS, then Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) of the Senate Judiciary Committee could be in a pickle. Would Kelly, a longtime Iowa public defender, be refused a hearing even though Grassley supported her when she was appointed in 2013? [Des Moines Register]

* The Alabama Supreme Court begrudgingly dismissed suits filed by conservative groups seeking a ruling declaring that the state’s anti-gay marriage laws were still in effect, despite the SCOTUS decision in Obergefell. In a concurrence at odds with reality, Chief Justice Roy Moore held fast to his belief that the state’s law was still intact. [AL.com]

* As we mentioned previously, the American Bar Association will vote on a change to its bar passage rate rules for law schools. Schools notorious for their bar passage problems better hold onto their hats if this proposal is passed, because their accreditation may quickly turn out to be like their graduates’ job prospects: nonexistent. [WSJ Law Blog]

There are still many unanswered questions in this case.

Judging runs in the family with these identical twins working at the same courthouse.

Alabama chief Justice is back in the news for being a bigot.

* Fans of this man’s dopey mugshot grin will be sad if they’re deprived of another jailhouse picture, but lawyers for Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton want their client’s securities fraud indictment to be tossed over what they claim was a faulty grand jury investigation. [Reuters]

* Friday is apparently “Love Your Lawyer Day,” and the ABA recently passed a resolution to commemorate this special day every year. Biglaw firms can show their love for lawyers by announcing bigger, better bonuses! [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* Alabama thinks the legal fees and costs that are being requested by attorneys in the state’s landmark same-sex marriage decision are “entirely excessive” and should be “cut dramatically.” It’s not like these lawyers had to “reinvent the wheel” or anything. [AL.com]

* “I may be known in tiny corners of the tubes of the Internet, but I am not well-known to the American public generally.” One-issue Democratic candidate Professor Lawrence Lessig of Harvard Law School is dropping out of the presidential race. [Boston Globe]

* It’s high time you joined the green rush, lawyers: although Ohioans voted against legalizing marijuana yesterday, more and more states are adding ballot measures for the legalization of marijuana or medical marijuana to be voted on in 2016. [Washington Post]

* “I’m glad Houston led tonight to end this constant political-correctness attack.” In other election news, voters in Texas repealed an LGBT anti-discrimination ordinance that would’ve prevented bias related to several important areas in life. [New York Times]

* Remember the judge who challenged a public defender to a fistfight in court? He was suspended by the Florida Supreme Court, and has 20 days to explain why he should keep his job. With all due respect, your great right hook isn’t a good enough reason, Your Honor. [Florida Today]

* Screw the historic SCOTUS decision, because this Alabama probate judge really doesn’t want to issue same-sex marriage licenses. In fact, he doesn’t think any judges in the state should have to do so. He wants the federal government to issue them instead. [AL.com]

* In the wake of the latest daily fantasy sports scandal involving DraftKings, FanDuel has hired the kind of legal representation that you’d want on your team for a Hail Mary play. Hut! Hut! Hike! Time to suit up, Debevoise and Kirkland. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* The University of Chicago Law School has a new dean. We’d like to wish a warm welcome to Thomas Miles, a “rookie dean” who likely has enough prestige points under his belt to lead one of the best law schools in the nation with great ease. [Crain’s Chicago Business]

* Today is the 25th Annual National Depression Screening Day, so if you’re a lawyer or a law student who’s feeling anxious or depressed, please feel free to take an anonymous online screening quiz. There are people and programs who can help you. [Am Law Daily]

* The method for securing drunk driving convictions is coming under fire. I’m not as think as you drunk I am officer. [Times Union]

* Hillary Clinton is bringing back the issue of liability for gun manufacturers. [Overlawyered]

* The bar exam-pocalypse continues. [Bar Exam Stats]

* The sad state of Alabamans’ voting rights. [Talking Points Memo]

* Lawyers have known this for a while: six-figure jobs don’t equal happiness. [Alternet]

* Remember how John Kasich seemed super-chill and liberal during the first Republican debate? Yeah, he isn’t. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* Do you feel like your legal career has left you behind and you’re struggling with a case of failure-to-launch disease? At least you aren’t alone. [Law and More]

* District Judge Henry Wingate suspends Mississippi’s death penalty. The full written decision is expected later this week. [BuzzFeed]

* Wondering why Roger Goodell is taking a hardline over Deflategate? He’s just acting like any good dictator and securing his power. [Washington Post]

* Trying to get bail set in a massive insider trading case? It helps if you’ve got God as a character reference. [Dealbreaker]

* Of all the dumb, stupid, obvious, %^$*#, frustrating AF horse hockey. Alabama is in the process of closing 45 out of 49 DMVs around the state. For the uninitiated: Alabama passed a strict voter ID law in 2011 and now there’s this new barrier to getting the proper identification. I guess it isn’t a stretch to pencil in Alabama as red in 2016. [Daily Kos]

* In less depressing news, read contemporary coverage of the passage of the 19th Amendment. [The Nation]

* … And right back to the depressing: a commenter places the blame for a lack of women lead counsel squarely with clients. Oh good, I was afraid for a minute that the legal industry might actually have to do something about gender issues. [What About Paris?]

* Rest in peace, Amelia Boynton Robinson. The civil rights activist died today at age 104. Best known for her fight for voting rights in the 1965 “Bloody Sunday” march, she was portrayed by Lorraine Toussaint in the movie Selma. [WTOP]

The racist Alabama cop story is a story of progress, I tell you.

Sad news for an Arkansas judge whose son died.

* Oh, the Onion… what would I do without you? Their take on gay marriage is masterful, as always. [Onion]

* Conservatives, troubled with the Supreme Court’s decision in Obergefell v. Hodges, vow to move to Canada. There’s only one teeny, tiny problem with their plan… about a decade in the making. [BuzzFeed]

* Of all the arrogant, jiggery-pokery, pure applesauce, Putsch! Find out exactly how Justice Scalia would mock you in this fun insult generator. [Slate]

* Some Alabama counties have come up with a crackerjack way to avoid marrying same sex couples. [Vox]

* The only way to get to today’s historical gay marriage case was to defeat the nomination of Judge Robert Bork, and Reagan aides always suspected this would happen. [Roll Call]

* For marriage equality fans with a sweet tooth. [Ben & Jerry’s]

* Surely you jest! Justice Scalia? Intellectually inconsistent to fit a political agenda? Pshaw. [BloombergView]

* A handy guide to today’s landmark SCOTUS decision. [Legal IO]

* News you can use: what is the legal status of cursing at cops? [The Marshall Project]

* You down with R.B.G.? Yeah, you know me! Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore wants SCOTUS Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Elena Kagan to be impeached for having performed same-sex marriage ceremonies. Haters gonna hate. [Huffington Post]

* Here’s a jury duty chart of those you’ll be forced to sit next to, from the “idiot who treats the Jury Foreman selection like a presidential campaign” to the “elderly woman who compares everything to an episode of ‘Matlock’ she once saw.” [Mandatory]

* It turns out that the state trooper who failed to do anything about Josh Duggar’s criminal sexual activity with a minor and allowed the statute of limitations to run had a penchant for child porn. According to court records, this guy is… pretty damn disgusting. [Jezebel]

* “May I please have some of that money you’ve got under the counter there, miss?” Are you really robbing a bank if you acted like a Boy Scout, asked nicely for money, and then received it — to the tune of $28,000? Kevin Underhill doesn’t think so. [Lowering the Bar]

* If you’ve never seen a Dealbreaker dramatic reading before, then here’s your sneak peek. Watch “the greatest intern Wall Street has ever seen” invite everyone and their mother to a party via company email, and then fail in the most epic sense of the word. [Dealbreaker]

* Meet David King of King v. Burwell, the epic Obamacare case to be argued before the U.S. Supreme Court today. [New York Times]

* And meet the two legal heavyweights who will be arguing the case before SCOTUS. [Politico via How Appealing]

* Meanwhile, another Supreme Court has put a stop to same-sex marriage down in Alabama — for now. [Buzzfeed]

* General David Petraeus reaches a plea deal, requiring him to plead guilty to a misdemeanor and pay a fine (but no prison sentence). [Washington Post]

* It’s not as sexy as Obamacare or marriage equality, but the collection of state sales tax on out-of-state purchases made online is a pretty important issue — and Justice Kennedy wants SCOTUS to revisit it. [How Appealing (linkwrap)]

* In the wake of a leadership shake-up, Cadwalader is beefing up its Houston energy practice — but is that a wise idea, with the price of oil spiraling downward? [American Lawyer]

* Finally, something that Elie Mystal and Jordan Weissmann can agree upon: dropping the LSAT is a bad idea. [Slate]

* A jury of eight men and 10 women will start hearing arguments today in the trial of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, defendant in the Boston Marathon bombing. [How Appealing (linkwrap)]

* Legal ethics guru Monroe Freedman, RIP. [ABA Journal]

* Amanda Knox, everyone’s favorite convicted/acquitted/convicted murderess, just got engaged to a musician she’s known since middle school. Aww, that’s cute and nice, but what we’d really like to know is where she’s registered for cutlery. [People]

* Loretta Lynch’s confirmation vote was postponed because per Chairman Chuck Grassley, she apparently submitted dissatisfying answers to the Senate Judiciary Committee’s post-hearing questions. Some says that she’s being held to a double standard… likely because she is being held to a double standard. [National Law Journal]

* Yesterday afternoon, Judge Callie V.S. Granade ordered that probate judges in Alabama issue same-sex marriage licenses. Sorry Chief Justice Roy Moore, but you better get ready, because the tide of gay marriage is gonna roll. ROLL TIDE ROLL! [National Law Journal]

* Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg says she’s not going to give up on women’s rights cases at the Supreme Court, despite the fact that she’s got male colleagues who “don’t fully appreciate the arbitrary barriers that have been put in women’s way.” [Bloomberg]

* According to the latest report from Citi Private Bank Law Firm Group, Biglaw firms, “across the board,” are doing better than they were last year, but the biggest Biglaw firms are doing the best, of course. We’ll have more on this later today. [WSJ Law Blog]

* A Texas lawmaker has proposed a bill that would appoint legal representation to a fetus if its mother is brain dead. “You’ll hear what the family wants, and you’ll also give the pre-born child a chance to have a voice in court at that same time.” [Dallas Morning News]

* New York Law School is launching a two-year law degree program, and students will only have to pay two-thirds of the $147,720 that they normally would have had to. For the record, not all two-year degree programs are cheaper. [Crain’s New York Business]

* Today’s inspirational human being: An ordained minister in Alabama was arrested after offering to perform a same-sex marriage inside a probate judge’s office. She says she’ll do it again, even though she knows she’ll likely be rearrested for doing so. [USA Today]

* Meanwhile, Judge Callie V.S. Granade will hear arguments on whether she must order Alabama judges to issue marriage license to gay couples. Granade is the one who ruled the state’s ban was unconstitutional in the first place. [New York Times]

* Per Major Lindsey & Africa’s 2014 Partner Compensation Survey, women partners have finally beaten men when it comes to law firm compensation. Wait, no, that’s not true, it’s just an “anomaly,” and “[t]hese women might be outliers.” [The Careerist]

* Blank Rome’s ex-chairman donated $5M to Villanova Law to establish an ethics and compliance center. You’re a few years too late, pal. The school could’ve used an ethics and compliance center to avert its admissions scandal. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* “The legal profession can benefit from more diversity. Should those students only attend low-ranked law schools? Absolutely not.” As we mentioned previously, law school diversity has improved, but only at the bottom. [National Law Journal]

* “The reality is, the university has done a lot to be a part of the solution. This undoes a lot of that work.” Students and professors at St. Louis University School of Law are up in arms because Bob McCulloch, the prosecutor in the Ferguson case, is coming to speak at an event on police practices. [ABC News]

* “Travel by coach will make it impossible for the attorneys to work and or sleep effectively upon our arrival.” Defense lawyers for three suspected terrorists motioned for a judge to give them business-class seats on a plane while federal prosecutors bum it back in coach. [New York Daily News]

* SCOTUSblog has been denied a Supreme Court press pass, yet again. Lyle Denniston, the site’s main reporter, had to go to great lengths in an attempt to circumvent the high court’s new journalist credentialing process. [Associated Press]

* “I would really think long and hard before defying a federal court order.” SCOTUS declined to issue a stay that would keep gay marriage at bay in Alabama, but some judges are still refusing to marry gay couples. Thanks Roy Moore. [Los Angeles Times]

* Paul Weiss: lookin’ nice! In a look at some of the early numbers from the latest Am Law 100 rankings, the firm increased its gross revenue year over year by 10.9 percent, allowing Paul Weiss to finally break the billion-dollar mark in revenue. [Am Law Daily]

Life as a grumpy old lawyer in Alabama certainly sounds pretty entertaining, y'all.

* According to Patron Saint RBG, the Supreme Court has never really come around on “the ability of women to decide for themselves what their destiny will be.” Gay people are doing well, though, so good for them. [New York Times]

* Two law professors and a consultant built a model that predicts SCOTUS decisions with 69.7 percent accuracy, and justices’ votes with 70.9 percent accuracy. For lawyers who are bad at math, that’s damn near perfect. Nice work! [Vox]

* An Alabama abortion clinic statute which required that doctors have admitting privileges at local hospitals was ruled unconstitutional. Perhaps this will be the death knell for these laws. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Idaho’s Supreme Court rejected Concordia Law’s bid to allow grads to sit for the bar before the ABA granted it provisional accreditation. Too bad, since lawyers are needed in Idaho. [National Law Journal]

* Before you go to law school, you can learn how to gun with the best of them. That’s right, you can practice briefing cases before you even set foot in the door. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* A Minnesota court ruled that it is not a crime to encourage people to commit suicide. So… keep commenting assholes, just know that you’ll feel really bad if I do it. [Gawker] * I might be in the market for a used car, and I’m hoping to get a really good deal on one of these “recalled” GMs. I hope the DOJ doesn’t screw up my plans. [Reuters Legal] * Speaking of cars, Alan Dershowitz calls for vigorous prosecution of reckless drivers. I call for vigorous prosecution of any box-blocking suburbanite who drives around Manhattan on a Saturday like they’re cruising to the country fair. [ABA Journal] * Alabama thinks that people over 70 should be excused from jury duty. YES, they deserve to be excused and I hope they burn in Hell! [WSJ Law Blog] * Narc is the new tattletale. [Simple Justice] * Are you an IP lawyer, especially a patent litigator? Here’s a symposium you should consider attending (featuring ATL columnist Gaston Kroub). [Markman Advisors] * Speaking of conferences, who wants to hang out with Lat in Las Vegas? Read on for details (plus video)…. Lat will be speaking next month at Avvo’s big Lawyernomics conference in Vegas. Here’s the agenda, here’s the registration from, and here’s Lat’s speaker spotlight video: