Before the media fixated on Edward Snowden’s crazy overseas adventures, there was a story about how the NSA created a series of hyper-aggressive surveillance programs. The outrage over private contractors scanning everyone’s metadata fell away so quickly you’d think a powerful clandestine organization masterminded a propaganda effort to move all the attention to the tangential stories of how the Moscow airport TGI Friday’s is lame and whether Snowden’s abandoned girlfriend is hot or not.
So this isn’t a proper “Career Alternatives for Attorneys” post, but if the Russian Federal Security Service (FSB) — the successor to the KGB — had their way, we would one day soon watch Spencer Mazyck of Bloomberg sitting down to interview a Russian spy.
When you think about it, Biglaw attorneys share a lot of qualities with spies: working long, odd hours; poring over reams of government documents searching for a few nuggets of information; and feeling that any mistake could cost them their lives.
If you feel you have what it takes to become a spy, give Russia a call because they’re all butthurt over losing out on a potential Biglaw spy…
* California is cutting prisons. That’s step one. Step two is to shuttle all the prisoners to Los Angeles. Step three involves a series of earthquakes… [McClatchy]
* Private equity billionaire Stephen Schwarzman isn’t into 50 Shades of Grey (affiliate link). But David Lat apparently is. I dunno, if you are going to bother with that kind of stuff, you might as well hit Brazzers and get it over with. [Dealbreaker]
* I’m all for making sure that the Violence Against Women reauthorization prevents violence against women, not annoyances against women, or criticism against women. [The Volokh Conspiracy]
* Speaking of violence against women, I never blame the victim, but dating gun-toting dumbasses rarely helps matters. [Legal Blog Watch]
It’s getting hard to keep track of all the partner departures from Dewey & LeBoeuf. Thankfully, over at Am Law Daily, Sara Randazzo and Nate Raymond have this handy round-up. The bottom line is that the firm has 53 fewer partners than it did in January: one retired, one left for personal reasons, one went in-house, and fifty (50!) jumped over to rival law firms. You can review the biggest beneficiaries of Dewey defections over here.
So what Dewey do about the problem of fleeing partners? We get medieval on the cowards….
Who is to blame for the recent troubles afflicting Dewey & LeBoeuf, the global mega-firm created from the 2007 merger of Dewey Ballantine and LeBoeuf Lamb? In our recent reader poll, we offered four options: the legacy Dewey side, the legacy LeBoeuf side, both sides, or neither side.
Prominent M&A and private equity lawyer John Altorelli, who recently left Dewey to become a partner at DLA Piper, has some opinions on this issue. In a recent interview with Am Law Daily, he offered a candid diagnosis of what brought D&L to where it stands today, as well as an assessment of its future prospects.
Altorelli was less forthcoming when the New York Post contacted him over the weekend about his alleged love affair with a beautiful Russian spy (her picture after the jump)….
* The billable hour may be far from dead, but last year, 61% of general counsel worked out alternative fee arrangements with outside counsel, including counsel from elite (read: Biglaw) firms. [Wall Street Journal]
* Dewey need to take lessons on revenge from this firm? John Altorelli, the D&L defector who spilled all the beans to the Am Law Daily, was blasted on Page Six this weekend. More on this to come later today. [New York Post]
* CHECK YOU LATERALS: recent Quinn Emanuel hires William Burck, Paul Brinkman, and Andrew Schapiro, as well as name partner John Quinn, have entered appearances on behalf of Megaupload. [Am Law Daily]
* Copyright infringement suits over porn downloading involving some 3,500 defendants were dismissed because the plaintiffs’ attorney, Terik Hasmi, couldn’t get it in legally in Florida. [National Law Journal]
* In England, there’s no such thing as a no-fault divorce, but instead, you can get one for “unreasonable behavior” — behavior like malicious service of tuna casserole, and speaking only in Klingon. [New York Times]
* This gives “I’m a Slave 4 U” some new meaning. Britney Spears’s fiancé, Jason Trawick, is trying to start their impending rocky marriage off on the right foot. He’ll soon be her co-conservator. [New York Daily News]
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