AT&T

This is a fantastic argument...

Go home, Citi.

OK, now this is just getting silly.

* Daaaammmmn. Some serious shade as Greenberg Traurig CEO Richard Rosenbaum takes a swipe at Dentons. Video below the jump.

* Lamar Odom is still technically married to Khloe Kardashian, thereby giving his estranged wife authority when it comes to medical decisions. Good, because I think we were all hoping a man’s tragic health crisis could be fodder for May Sweeps. [Eonline]

* Linklaters is “internally crowdsourcing” to find a solution to provide a better work-life balance. Jesus. Bring on the necessary resources to cap any individual’s work week at 60 billable hours and move on. Anything less is just an invitation to rearrange deck chairs on the Titanic. [Law360]

* Looks like NPR’s hit podcast Serial is ready for a second season. [The Onion]

* Dewey think these deliberations will ever end? [The Am Law Daily]

* Ah, the life of in-house counsel: writing bitchy emails to customers telling them how stupid they are. [L.A. Times]

* Rand Paul explains how “liberty” works for gay people. [Gawker]

* Before joining a class action, make sure aren’t advertising your own criminal behavior to authorities. [Times-Picayune]

* And here’s that Greenberg Traurig-Dentons swipe. This strikes me as an ill-considered decision given that Dentons is known as a firm that doesn’t start fights, but sure as f**k ends them. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

After a "liberal" term, progressives continue to lament the ideological bent of the Roberts Court, but have fewer answers when it comes to changing course.

Some judges and justices have noted that today's connected world would be completely unrecognizable to the judges who made the decisions the government relies so heavily on

Yesterday, the Federal Trade Commission (“FTC”) filed a complaint in the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of California against AT&T Mobility, LLC (“AT&T”) over claims that AT&T violated Section 5 of the FTC Act by engaging in unfair and deceptive practices relating to the company’s “unlimited” data plans. The FTC asserts that AT&T has misled millions of its customers by marketing and selling “unlimited” data plans, while reducing data speeds for certain unlimited plan customers by up to 90 percent through a practice known as “throttling.”

n the U.S District Court for the Northern District of Illinois, Judge Matthew F. Kennelly recently held that plaintiffs alleging price-fixing in the text messaging market were not entitled to an adverse inference after failing to prove that defendants T-Mobile and CTIA destroyed emails in bad faith. Judge Kennelly also granted the defendants’ motion for summary judgment, as plaintiffs were unable to meet the elevated pleading burden for collusion to fix prices for text messages in violation of the Sherman Antitrust Act. The plaintiffs had filed suit on behalf of customers who used pay-per-text-message services from Verizon Wireless, AT&T, Sprint, and T-Mobile. The Wall Street Journal published an article in September 2008, titled “Text Messaging Rates Come under Scrutiny,” inspired primarily by the antitrust investigation of Senator Herbert Kohl.[1] The day the article was published, a T-Mobile employee allegedly sent the text of the article via e-mail to both Adrian Hurditch, the company’s former Vice President of Services and Strategic Pricing, and Lisa Roddy, the company’s former Director of Marketing Planning and Analysis. Hurditch and Roddy e-mailed each other about the article; however, that e-mail thread no longer exists.

"I have seen the promised land... and it has unbeatable deals!"

Andrew Auernheimer receives 41-month prison sentence. It may be too severe, but Auernheimer was asking for it.

AT&T is facing an FCC complaint over the way it's handled Apple's decision to allow FaceTime over cell networks.

* The Supreme Court will hear oral arguments on Obamacare over three days in March. Let’s fast forward to June so we can see how Election 2012 is going to turn out. [Blog of Legal Times] * The Grinch definitely stole AT&T’s Christmas this year, and even a team of Biglaw superstars couldn’t save the […]

* Protip for Mark Hansen, AT&T’s lawyer: when you want a judge to save your merger plans, it’s probably not a good idea to demand that she make a ruling by a certain date. [Businessweek] * What’s going on in Cooley Law’s defamation suit against Rockstar05 (other than discussion of whether the school’s attorney understands […]

* With AT&T’s T-Mobile deal falling apart, in-house lawyer Wayne Watts could be heard singing, “it’s my merger and I’ll cry if I want to,” before more whining to the FCC. [DealBook / New York Times] * Build us a border fence, and then get the f**k over it. Arizona lawmakers are soliciting the public […]

* The AT&T/T-Mobile antitrust suit is so big that not even Big Government law can handle it. The DOJ is bringing in even bigger guns with a partner from Biglaw firm Munger Tolles. [Bloomberg] * Obama has nominated former Kozinski clerk, Paul Watford, to the Ninth Circuit. Way to go, because he’s kind of cute. […]

* Police suspect that a client may have been the one to plant a bomb in attorney Erik G. Chappell’s car. Stay far away from family law, folks. [New York Daily News] * “How come there’s not a school where people can go if they want to become trial lawyers?” How come you don’t know […]

* It took SCOTUS more than four hours to write one sentence. But oh, to be a fly on the wall last night when they decided to deny a stay of execution for Troy Davis. [New York Times] * AT&T wants to take the DOJ’s antitrust case to trial. This must be some sort of […]

* Opponents of New York’s gay marriage law are suing because the Senate kept negotiations in the closet. AG Eric Schneiderman has moved to dismiss the suit, citing a lack of fabulosity. [Wall Street Journal] * Seven states have joined the Department of Justice in asking to be crossed off the guest list for AT&T’s […]

* In November, the Supreme Court will decide whether our Fourth Amendment rights come subject to advances in technology. I, for one, welcome our new Orwellian overlords. [New York Times] * What do you get when two wireless carriers with craptastic coverage and service that goes down more than a porn star have plans to […]

* Sprint hopped in bed with Skadden to sue AT&T over its proposed merger with T-Mobile. Somewhere in America, the Verizon guy is cackling with glee. “Can you hear me now, b*tches?” [Bloomberg] * “I would love to dominate and humiliate and degrade you, privately of course.” Remember this guy? Six of the nine charges […]