What if we took the ridiculous questions asked of Attorney General nominee Loretta Lynch and paired them with ridiculous answers from Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch?
That’s about as smooth as a confirmation hearing will go in this era of divided government.
We’ve all heard how dysfunctional entry-level legal recruiting is: Inordinate expense, decisions made on the briefest of subjective impressions with opacity all around, and what do firms reap for all their efforts? Shocking attrition rates among junior associates. It’s time for a conference on what could work better, and this is it.
* “I will be myself. I will be Loretta Lynch.” During the first day of her Senate Judiciary hearing, our would-be attorney general was cool, calm, and collected while delivering the news that she’s not Eric Holder. [National Law Journal]
* Just how many retweets does it take for a law student at Oklahoma Law to convince Steven Adams of the Oklahoma City Thunder to go with her to law school prom (i.e., Barrister’s Ball)? Apparently only 1K. Come on, be her date, Steve! [FanSided]
* After being arrested on bribery charges, New York Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver has decided to take a leave of absence from personal injury firm Weitz & Luxenberg — and to think, he was originally hired “to bring prestige to the firm.” [WSJ Law Blog]
* “Chess trains you to always think of the worst-case scenario. A lot of the time, that’s what lawyers are hired to do—to think, ‘What’s the worst case and how can I manage it?’” The youngest Debevoise associate moonlights as a chess champ. [Am Law Daily]
* Sue Ann Arnall, the ex-wife of billionaire Harold Hamm who first rejected a $975 million alimony check earlier this month and later cashed it, still thinks she should be able to appeal her divorce decree. This woman’s got some real chutzpah. [Bloomberg]
* “She’s kind of like Eric Holder in a skirt.” Well then. No one else really seems to care about longtime prosecutor Loretta Lynch’s nomination for the position of replacement top dog at the Department of Justice, but hey, maybe that’s actually a good thing. [National Law Journal]
* Yael Krigman, who left her job at White & Case to open up her own cakepoppery in Washington, D.C., doesn’t miss being a lawyer. In fact, these days, she says she uses her law degree “much more than [she] did as a practicing attorney.” [GW Hatchet]
* It’s official: the justices of the U.S. Supreme Court had no shame in their game when they denied certiorari on a civil rights case involving shirtless Wade McCree. It’s too bad judges are immune from lawsuits like this. [Associated Press via Detroit News]
* If you’re lucky enough to have power, then boy, Dewey have a wonderful longread for you to take a look at on this “historic” snow day. It turns out that this failed firm’s management painted a “rosy picture” to mask an “ugly truth.” [ABA Journal]
* Should you submit a law school application with a crappy LSAT score without first telling the schools that there will be another, hopefully better LSAT score coming? Please. They’ll be thrilled you have a pulse. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]
Scantron* A modest proposal for a new course evaluation form. [LawProfBlawg]
* An interview with former Senator George Mitchell. Did you know he turned down Justice Breyer’s seat because he wanted “to pass significant health care legislation.” The appropriate 90s response is to cue Nelson Muntz. [Coverage Opinions]
* George Washington may have doomed your smartphone privacy. But if it makes you feel any better he probably didn’t mean to. [Redline]
* California lawyers are 35 percent more in debt than they were 6 years ago. [Cal Lawyer]
* “He sent three clients explicit text messages that included photographs of his erect penis.” Fun addendum: if you read the full opinion, because the associate wrote off his time for sex that was, rightly, the firm’s 8.4 violation! I hope they weren’t the ones who turned him in. [Legal Profession Blog]
* A panel of legal analysts weigh in on the nomination of Loretta Lynch to succeed Eric Holder as Attorney General and discuss what her nomination means in the context of civil rights. [RH Reality Check]
* Do you need a live CLE lecture? Pick up 12 credits and grab some drinks with some ATL editors afterward. [Above the Law]
The battle to confirm Eric Holder’s successor will be messy, according to conservative columnist Tamara Tabo.
Are you a junior to mid-level corporate/finance associate who has been contemplating a move to (or within) Washington, DC? In response to increased deal activity requiring “NY (or like-kind) trained” corporate associates, the Washington, DC corporate/finance market is experiencing an unusually high demand for your skills. Read more, and check out www.g-s.com.
* Eric Holder has agreed to serve once more as attorney general during President Barack Obama’s second term, but he still plans to leave at some point — after all, he’s no “Janet Reno of the Justice Department.” [Blog of Legal Times]
* For those who care about Biglaw firms and the landlords who love them, fear not, because there’s a whole lot of moving and shaking in terms of commercial real estate deals for Arnold & Porter, Goodwin Procter, and Sidley Austin. [Am Law Daily]
* Jacoby & Meyers scored at the Second Circuit, and the firm’s legal attack on New York’s ban on non-lawyer law firm ownership was reinstated. Soon Walmart will own a law firm with “Low Prices. Every day. On everything.” [Bloomberg]
* Who’ll be stepping in to fill Evan Caminker’s $457,964 shoes as the next dean of Michigan Law? None other than Mark West, who’d like to improve financial aid and loan repayment programs. [National Law Journal]
* Gun nuts, commence your rioting… now. If passed, Governor Andrew Cuomo’s sweeping gun-control proposal would make New York the state with the strictest gun laws in the country. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]
* Speaking of needless gun violence, by Friday, we’ll know whether there’s enough evidence to move forward with a trial for James Holmes, the accused shooter in the Aurora movie theater massacre. [New York Times]
* “We know in our hearts that for the United States of America, the best is yet to come.” Barack Obama was re-elected as president. Bring on the hope and change! No, seriously. [New York Times]
* In news that shouldn’t come as a surprise, regardless of who won the presidential race, there are still post-election voting issues that will likely be resolved in the courts. [Blog of Legal Times]
* But what we really want to know is who will be our country’s next attorney general. Because if anyone can fill Eric Holder’s shoes, it’s Preet Bharara, the U.S. attorney for the S.D.N.Y. [WSJ Law Blog]
* In other important news, several states approved gay marriage ballot initiatives, and others legalized marijuana. But hopefully you don’t have a case of the munchies yet, because federal law still says it’s illegal. [CNN]
* They helped American citizens “ba-rock” the vote: hundreds of law students from around the country rallied around the craziness of Election Day to volunteer their assistance to worthy causes. [National Law Journal]
* Biglaw firms in NYC are still reeling after Hurricane Sandy. While WilmerHale set up temporary offices last week, both SullCrom and Fried Frank could be out of commission for weeks. [Reuters; New York Times]
* At this point, in-house counsel are kind of like the McKayla Maroneys of the legal profession, because they are seriously unimpressed with outside counsel’s efforts to improve services and fees. [Corporate Counsel]
* Judge Theodore Jones, associate judge of the New York Court of Appeals, RIP. [New York Law Journal]
Congress holds Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt of Congress…