Austin Campriello

* Do not mess with federal judges: Shortly after presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump criticized Judge Gonzalo Curiel of the Southern District of California at a political rally by calling him a “hater,” the judge ordered that internal Trump University documents from a consumer fraud trial be unsealed. [POLITICO]

* The Clark County Defenders Union that represents Zohra Bakhtary condemned Judge Conrad Hafen in an open letter, writing, “[h]andcuffing an attorney who is merely doing her job to teach her a lesson is simply improper and has never been done in the history of Nevada.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* When we last checked in with Stephen DiCarmine, Dewey’s ex-executive director, he told a judge that due to financial constraints, he’d like to represent himself at retrial. Now, he’s hired Rita Glavin of Seward & Kissel for the job. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Uh-oh… Mossack Fonseca, the law firm behind the Panama Papers leaks, announced via Tweet its plans to close offices in several offshore tax havens. The firm will shutter offices in the island nations of Jersey, Gibraltar. and the Isle of Man. [VICE News]

* Who knew a Libor-rigging trial could be so exciting? Former Barclays trader and criminal defendant Ryan Reich was scolded by a judge after he interrupted a co-defendant’s testimony with shouts of “no, no, no, no.” [Big Law Business]

* Cassandra Q. Butts, former deputy White House counsel and longtime friend and advisor to law school classmate President Barack Obama, RIP. [Washington Post]

* Because he’d like to stop “freeriding on the services of Bryan Cave,” Stephen DiCarmine, Dewey & LeBoeuf’s former executive director, told a judge that he’d like to dump Austin Campriello as his lawyer and represent himself in the retrial of his criminal case. DiCarmine, a current textile design student, was warned that this likely wasn’t a very wise choice on his part. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Kaye Scholer’s managing partner “wouldn’t comment on any speculation or rumor,” but word on the street is that his firm and Arnold & Porter may potentially be discussing a possible merger. Information related to this merger is really just a game of Biglaw telephone at this point. Let us know if you have any credible details. [Big Law Business]

* This seems like the plotline of a reality TV series: A trial date has been set for one of the three Trump University lawsuits, and if all goes according to plan for likely Republican nominee Donald Trump, it looks like we may have a president-elect taking the witness stand to testify about allegations related to fraud before his inauguration. [CBS News]

* Just in time for law school commencement ceremonies, the Bureau of Labor Statistics has some depressing news about employment statistics. In April, the legal services sector lost 1,500 jobs. Thus far, the only month in 2016 when jobs were added in the legal services sector was March. Well… this really isn’t very encouraging. [Am Law Daily]

* “It’s been one step forward, two steps back since [2009].” The job market for law school grads is still challenging, but due to the fact that class sizes are smaller now, job prospects may seem a bit brighter for some. Are things really looking up? This John Marshall Law grad — with a job! — thinks things are going to be fine. [Chicago Tribune]

Not surprisingly, the attorneys for the prosecution and the defense painted two drastically different pictures of the firm’s demise.

* The rocky relationship between McKenna Long & Aldridge and Dentons is being doubted by everyone, and it looks like Dentons may be on the verge of receiving the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech. [Daily Report]

* Stephen DiCarmine, Dewey & LeBoeuf’s former executive director and resident fashionista, just hired a criminal defense attorney. We trust this man — jailhouse stripes must be so hot right now! [Am Law Daily]

* Skadden cares about its people. The firm is trying to prevent a man who allegedly killed one of its legal secretaries, got high, and then ate six waffles from collecting funds from her 401(k). [New York Daily News]

* Just imagine if this article were written in true BuzzFeed listicle style. It’d probably be called something like “3,742 Words on Why Mary Bonauto Is the Most Awesome Marriage Equality Lawyer Ever.” [BuzzFeed]

* “I think it’s fair to say the hiring plan is kaput.” As we previously reported, the Law Clerk Hiring Plan is dead, and the heat is on to figure out a way to lure federal judges back to OSCAR. [National Law Journal]