• SchillingNew

    Baseball, Constitutional Law, Federal Circuit, Google / Search Engines, Movies, Non-Sequiturs, Patents, Richard Posner, Securities and Exchange Commission, Technology, Television, Women's Issues

    Non-Sequiturs: 09.12.13

    * The hits keep on coming for Curt Schilling. Now the SEC has woken up and decided to probe the $75 million he secured from the state of Rhode Island (already the subject of another suit). Maybe he can fake another bloody sock to generate some sympathy. [Bloomberg]

    * Apple sold a “Season Pass” to Breaking Bad Season 5 and then refused to honor the second half of the season to its subscribers, prompting an Ohio doctor to file suit for $20, with hopes of building a class action. Look, Apple needed that money; Tim Cook is desperate these days. [Deadline: Hollywood]

    * Speaking of Apple, the Federal Circuit looks like it’s going to give Apple another crack at its claim that Google ripped off the iPhone patents, citing “significant” errors on the part of the last judge to rule on the dispute: Richard Posner. You come at the king, you best not miss. [Wall Street Journal]

    * And last, but definitely not least, Apple’s new fingerprint ID will be the death of the Fifth Amendment. Discuss. [Wired]

    * A film chock-full of unsanctioned footage and insulting knocks on Disney has been picked up for distribution. This is your official warning that it’s time to prepare the beauty pageant pitch for the Disney execs. [Grantland]

    * Elie smash, Charlotte Law School. [NPR Charlotte]

    * The International Association of Young Lawyers conference will feature a speed dating session (on page 6). Really hard-hitting program there. [International Association of Young Lawyers]

    * Congratulations to the 49 firms honored for meeting all of WILEF’s criteria for Gold Standard certification at today’s awards gala! [Women in Law Empowerment Forum]

    20 Comments / / Sep 12, 2013 at 5:01 PM
  • National_Football_League_2008.svg

    Baseball, Cardozo Law School, Drinking, Football, Gay, Gay Marriage, Non-Sequiturs, Pornography, Sentencing Law, Sports

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.29.13

    * The NFL has reached a $765 million settlement with the over 4,500 retired concussion victims whose injuries paved the way for the league’s success. [Sports Illustrated]

    * Dennis Rodman confidante Kim Jong-un had his ex-girlfriend executed on pornography charges. Kind of puts the whole “revenge porn” thing in perspective. [The Telegraph]

    * A lawsuit against Curt Schilling, based on allegations that he deceived the state into giving his company $75 million, will go forward. Like most conservative Republicans, Schilling saw no problem with taking millions in handouts from the government so long as poor people don’t get $4.50 a day for food. [Comcast SportsNet]

    * Judge Mark Bennett (N.D. Iowa) ripped the Department of Justice for creating massive drug sentencing disparities because the DOJ went years without a policy for when prosecutors should double the prison time for repeat offenders. In Northern Iowa, that’s a LOT of meth heads in prison. [Des Moines Register]

    * Attorneys for the Governor of Pennsylvania equate gay marriage to letting 12-year-olds marry. Just because a demographic calls everything “gay” doesn’t make them gay. [ABA Journal]

    * Study shows academics use lots of adjectives and adverbs. This is really a very terrific and awesome study. [TaxProf Blog]

    * Polygraphs are inadmissible, but remember invisible jets are A-OK. [Texts from Superheroes]

    * REMINDER: OK NYU, Columbia, Fordham, Cardozo, and NYLS students! It’s time to send nominations to us for where you want us to go on the Great Above the Law/Kaplan Bar Review Bar Crawl. Send bar nominations to, subject: “Bar Crawl.” See you on September 18th! [Above the Law]

    1 Comment / / Aug 29, 2013 at 5:01 PM
  • Statistics

    Baseball, Biglaw, Billable Hours, Killing Lockstep, Money, Partner Issues, Partner Profits, Sports

    Biglaw’s Statistical Shortcomings

    What are statistics like the billable hour worth, and how can they be improved?

    7 Comments / / Aug 27, 2013 at 10:17 AM
  • 170px-Alex_Rodriguez_Talking-RF

    Baseball, Biglaw, Drugs, No Offers, Sports

    Getting No-Offered And Talking Sports

    A-Rod’s lawyer is a special kind of delight.

    22 Comments / / Aug 23, 2013 at 10:14 AM
  • maggie-gyllenhaal-secretary-crawl

    Baseball, China, Clerkships, Craigslist, Janice Rogers Brown, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, Texas

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.09.13

    * This gem of a listing just showed up in the “legal/paralegal jobs” section of Craigslist. Be sure to send a “nude picture” with your résumé! Perhaps someone has been watching too many Maggie Gyllenhaal films. If it gets taken down a screenshot is here, and the klassy alternative picture in the listing is here. [Craigslist]

    * From the “no good deed goes unpunished” department, Georgetown Law has figured out how to bilk taxpayers into covering the costs of increasing tuition. The federal government forgives law school debt for those in the public sector if they agree to make an income-based payment. Georgetown is covering those costs, passing it on to future students (who also won’t be paying it back), and then encouraging students to shelter income to guarantee the school comes out ahead. This is why we can’t have nice things. [Wonkblog / Washington Post]

    * The always outspoken Judge Kopf shares his thoughts on Shon Hopwood’s selection as a clerk for Judge Janice Rogers Brown. Judge Kopf sentenced Hopwood to 147 months in the 90s. [Hercules and the Umpire]

    * A delightful “man bites dog” story: a bank didn’t read a customer’s amendments to a credit card application before issuing him a card and went to court whining about how hard it is to pay attention to the fine print. Boo hoo hoo. [The Telegraph]

    * How to deal with your mistakes. This only applies to associates, though. Partners have two steps: (1) find an associate; (2) blame the associate. [Associate’s Mind]

    * Everything’s bigger in Texas, including their misreading of the Supreme Court’s precedent. [Election Law Blog]

    * China is way serious about prosecuting corruption. [Legal Juice]

    * The Mets muscle man whose comic inability to open a water bottle went viral on YouTube is actually a lawyer from White Plains. If you haven’t seen the clip yet, it’s after the jump. Watching the water bottle battle is the only excuse for subjecting yourself to a Royals-Mets game…

    19 Comments / / Aug 9, 2013 at 5:04 PM
  • 170px-A-Rod2_adjusted-RF

    Baseball, Drugs, Football, Sports

    There Are No Heroes In This Story

    Alex Rodriguez and Johnny Manziel square off against entities that are at least as bad or worse.

    2 Comments / / Aug 9, 2013 at 1:35 PM
  • PIA16239_High-Resolution_Self-Portrait_by_Curiosity_Rover_Arm_Camera

    Baseball, Law School Deans, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, Sports

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.06.13

    * The Mars Curiosity rover played “Happy Birthday to You” to itself on the first anniversary of its landing on the Red Planet. It takes about 13 minutes for transmissions from Mars to reach the Earth. Time Warner sued NASA 14 minutes after Curiosity’s performance. [io9]

    * Fans of the Colorado Rockies… fans? Huh, okay! Anyway, the case posits that Rockies ticket holders should be allowed to sell them on the secondary market. If they can’t unload Rockies tickets, they may be forced to watch a team 11 games out of first place flounder. [Forbes]

    * Paul Rampell, Donald Trump’s lawyer, advocates for replacing marriages with leases with defined terms. It gives new meaning to “trading in for a new model.” The thrice married Trump nods approvingly. [Washington Post]

    * The Rumpus interviews Dean Frank H. Wu of UC Hastings. Turns out he’s writing “a bad trashy novel.” So it probably won’t make the 25 Greatest Law Novels ever list. But then again, they put The Fountainhead on that list, so don’t give up hope, Dean Wu! [The Rumpus]

    * Poetry Corner: Kenneth Branagh Prepares Evidence For Trial. So long as he’s not preparing to direct another awful Thor movie, I’m fine. [Poetic Justice]

    * Just what do Americans even want from an energy policy? That Cuisinart fusion reactor from Back to the Future, that’s what. [Breaking Energy]

    * A defendant called a judge “Hon,” and it did not go well. I wonder what Judge Montes gets called at the club? [Sun Sentinel]

    * Anthony Weiner once explained that he was “inspired” by a book about a lawyer who wants to cheat on his wife. Indeed. [BuzzFeed]

    0 Comments / / Aug 6, 2013 at 5:05 PM
  • a-rod

    3rd Circuit, Attorney Misconduct, Baseball, Biglaw, Breasts, Education / Schools, Free Speech, In-House Counsel, Law Schools, Legal Ethics, Media and Journalism, Morning Docket, Sports, Technology, Washington Post

    Morning Docket: 08.06.13

    * Judges on the Third Circuit bench must really ♥ boobies. Breast cancer awareness bracelets can’t be banned by public schools if they aren’t lewd and if they comment on social issues. [Legal Intelligencer]

    * A bevy of Biglaw firms were involved as advisers in the sale of the Boston Globe, Newsweek, and the Washington Post, including Cleary Gottlieb, Cravath, and Morgan Lewis, among others. [Am Law Daily]

    * After surviving a motion for disqualification, Quinn Emanuel will continue to represent Snapchat. A short video of John Quinn laughing his ass off will be available for the next 10 seconds. [TechCrunch]

    * Alex Rodriguez, the only MLB player who will be appealing his drug-related suspension, has hired Reed Smith and Gordon & Rees to hit it out of the park during arbitration proceedings. [Am Law Daily]

    * Don’t say we never did you any favors: Here are the top 5 mistakes new in-house counsel make from the perspective of outside counsel. Take a look before you make them yourselves. [Texas Lawyer]

    * We saw this coming back in June (seventh item), but now it’s official. Prenda Law has dissolved after posting six figures in bonds for various ethical sanctions. Next step, bankruptcy? [National Law Journal]

    * If you’re interested in applying to a top 14 law school, make sure your stats and your story are both compelling. No one likes a boring law student. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

    2 Comments / / Aug 6, 2013 at 9:05 AM
  • iStock_000001952875XSmall

    Baseball, Biglaw, Drinking, DUI / DWI, Football, Noah Feldman, Non-Sequiturs, Sports, Video games

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.02.13

    * A DWI attorney shows up to court drunk. Kicker? He was in the wrong courtroom. Still, the best way to defend a client is to stumble a mile in their shoes. [KRQE]

    * A sitting appellate judge shares his poetic stylings. [Law Poetry]

    * Here’s a brutally honest letter from a hypothetical senior Biglaw partner to a new associate. Since this week established that we need to point this out, this is a satirical letter. [Associate’s Mind]

    * Well this is a pretty comprehensive tirade against a judge. It makes calling a judge a “cock” seem tame. [Legal Juice]

    * Harvard Professor Noah Feldman talks about democracy. He thinks monarchies have funny traditions. I guess he’s talking about the royal family of Canada. [Zach Talks]

    * EA can’t use the First Amendment to get out of the right of publicity problem it faces with its college football video game. And the death watch on the NCAA continues. [IT-Lex]

    1 Comment / / Aug 2, 2013 at 4:57 PM
  • Justice Antonin Scalia

    Abortion, Antonin Scalia, Baseball, Biglaw, Gay Marriage, Guns / Firearms, Morning Docket, Supreme Court

    Morning Docket: 07.23.13

    * Supreme Court justices employ more strident language in dissents. We didn’t really need a study to prove that justices get salty when they lose. We could just watch Scalia invoke Godwin’s Law. [Washington Post]

    * Last year, Ryan Braun, proclaiming innocence, successfully appealed his suspension for steroid use. Right now Braun’s appeal seems a bit disingenuous. [Sports Illustrated]

    * Bipolar man who pretended to be a lawyer sentenced to three years. How will he pay off his fake law school debt? [New York Post]

    * U.S. District Judge Daniel Hovland has enjoined North Dakota’s new abortion law. Turns out it wasn’t viable. [USA Today]

    * In the wake of Hollingsworth, Modern Family star Jesse Tyler Ferguson forged his own modern family when he married lawyer Justin Mikita over the weekend. [Los Angeles Times]

    * Rachel Jeantel, the controversial prosecution witness from the George Zimmerman trial, says the experience has inspired her to become a lawyer. That’s an unfortunate lesson to take from the trial. [Newsone]

    * The most interesting thing about the decline of Biglaw is how long a completely nonsensical business model persisted. [Slate]

    5 Comments / / Jul 23, 2013 at 9:07 AM
  • baseball player hitting

    Baseball, Sports

    Cooley Law School Stadium: The House That Broken Dreams Built

    The full scoop on the only ballpark we know of named after a law school.

    47 Comments / / Jul 10, 2013 at 6:01 PM
  • Unknown

    Baseball, Holidays and Seasons, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, Sports, Texas

    Non-Sequiturs: 07.03.13

    Ed. note: In honor of the July 4th holiday, we do not expect to publish tomorrow. We will be back on Friday, July 5th, although on a reduced publication schedule.

    * These are the five cases likely to come up after Fourth of July weekend. The “boating accidents” case reminds me of a poor teen clerk telling Homer Simpson that he couldn’t operate a boat while drunk and he responded, “Sounds like a wager to me!” [The Expert Institute]

    * This lawyer is also a professional at shooting off fireworks. In this job market, it’s good to have a career to fall back on. [Indiana Lawyer]

    * This is the holiday to go take in a baseball game. If you’re in Michigan, you can watch the Lansing Lugnuts vs. the Lake County Captains at Cooley Law School Stadium. Wait, Cooley has a stadium? [Battle Creek Enquirer]

    * The Texas Criminal Defense Lawyers Association is planning a series of readings of the Declaration of Independence. You know, in case you have absolutely nothing to do in Texas tomorrow. [KLTV]

    * On a similar note, in Massachusetts, there was an annual reading of Frederick Douglass’s famed take on the Fourth of July from the perspective of abolitionists. [Cape Cod Daily]

    * In non-holiday news, the George Zimmerman trial ground to a halt today when Skype testimony was bombarded by pranksters constantly pinging the witness’s account. Video after the jump… [The Smoking Gun]

    12 Comments / / Jul 3, 2013 at 5:00 PM
  • Rainbow_flag_and_blue_skies

    Affirmative Action, Anthony Kennedy, Baseball, Biglaw, Gay, Gay Marriage, Law Firm Mergers, Law Schools, Money, Morning Docket, Politics, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Samuel Alito, SCOTUS, Small Law Firms

    Morning Docket: 06.25.13

    * As we wait for the biggest cases of this term, the question that seems to be on everyone’s minds is: “What would Justice Kennedy do?” We might find out the answer today if we’re lucky. [New Yorker]

    * At least we know what Justice Kennedy wouldn’t do. He’d never disrespect his elders like Justice Alito did yesterday after rolling his eyes at Justice Ginsburg while on the bench. [Washington Post]

    * Meanwhile, although the Supreme Court punted an important affirmative action ruling yesterday, Jen Gratz’s life has been defined by a more meaningful one made about a decade ago. [Washington Post]

    * It’s not what you know, it’s who you know: Covington, the firm where ex-DOJ lawyers go to make money, is representing some very big tech companies in their dealings with the NSA. [Am Law Daily]

    * Fox Rothschild picked up a small Denver firm to reach a “critical mass” of attorneys in its new office and offer full service. FYI, “full service” in Colorado means weed law now, you know. [Legal Intelligencer]

    * “[G]iven the significant decline in law school applications,” Cincinnati Law is pushing for a 30 percent tuition and fees reduction for out-of-state students. That’s a step in the right direction. [WCPO ABC 9]

    * This guy had the chance to go to law school, and I bet he’s really kicking himself now after choosing to be a member of the Boston Red Sox bullpen instead. Poor kid, he could’ve had it all. []

    16 Comments / / Jun 25, 2013 at 9:09 AM
  • Prostitution2

    Abortion, Affirmative Action, Baseball, Education / Schools, Gay Marriage, Morning Docket, Nina Totenberg, Prostitution, Samuel Alito, SCOTUS, Supreme Court

    Morning Docket: 06.20.13

    * Today is most likely going to be a banner decision day for the Supreme Court, so in wild anticipation, SCOTUS expert Nina Totenberg was on call to answer some need-to-know questions for the people about the innermost workings of the Court. [NPR]

    * One of the opinions we hope will drop at the Supreme Court today is that of the Fisher v. Texas affirmative action case. If you want some hints on how the three justices who attended Princeton (not counting Kagan) might rule, check this out. [Daily Princetonian]

    * Justice Samuel Alito is out in Texas where he threw the first pitch — “a bit wide of the plate” — in last night’s Rangers game. Will SCOTUS unleash anything important in his absence? [Washington Post]

    * Meanwhile, while we eagerly await decisions in the gay marriage cases next week, consider for a moment the possibility that this is all just but a gigantic train wreck waiting to happen. [New Republic]

    * Things are heating up in North Dakota where the battle over abortion regulations continues to rage on. What a shame, especially since we supposedly took care of this stuff in the early 70s. [ABC News]

    * “If this is what these women signed up for, who is anybody to tell them differently?” Two pimps were acquitted of sex trafficking after prostitutes testified on their behalf. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

    5 Comments / / Jun 20, 2013 at 9:04 AM
  • Richard Wiley

    Ask the Experts, Biglaw, Books, FCC, Movies, Partner Issues

    ATL Interrogatories: 10 Questions with Richard Wiley of Wiley Rein LLP

    Richard Wiley of Wiley Rein LLP shares his insights into the legal profession.

    / May 8, 2013 at 3:14 PM
  • techdirt-RF

    Baseball, FCC, Free Speech, Sports

    Red Sox’ David Ortiz Unleashes An Expletive During Televised Speech; FCC Says ‘F**k It’

    FCC makes an entirely reasonable decision. I’m woozy.

    / Apr 26, 2013 at 11:17 AM
  • jose canseco RF

  • Trump-for-Prez

    Baseball, Copyright, Donald Trump, Drinking, Football, Intellectual Property, Kenyon & Kenyon, Law Schools, Racism, SCOTUS, Sports, Supreme Court

    Non-Sequiturs: 04.18.13

    * The New York Post responds to critics of its Boston attack coverage. [The Onion]

    * I’m just going to quote our tipster on this one because I cannot improve upon his commentary: “Because we should publicize every time a Donald Trump lawsuit fails.” [Chronicle of Higher Education]

    * DOUBLE F**KING NEWSFLASH: this pissed off sorority girl will write the BEST cease and desist letters someday. [Gawker]

    * CVS: the place with the helpful, anti-Asian racist staff! [Associated Press via Yahoo! Finance]

    * The Supreme Court stands up to warrantless searches. Sort of. [Simple Justice]

    * Sports franchise owners totally rip off the communities they supposedly serve? [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

    * You’d think an intellectual property firm would know better than to commit copyright violations. [Law 360]

    * Good news, law students! You can get a casebook for the low, low price of $200! [PrawfsBlawg]

    * Rachel Ray sued for negligence in trying to help a teen lose weight. If the goal was weight loss, Rachel should have just forced the girl to exclusively eat from Rachel Ray’s cookbook. Nothing can turn someone off eating like that. [US Weekly]

    3 Comments / / Apr 18, 2013 at 5:03 PM