Benchslaps
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Benchslaps, Department of Justice
Why The DOJ Got Benchslapped In Austria: A Conversation With FCPA Blog's Richard Cassin
Columnist Zach Abramowitz chats with Richard Cassin of the FCPA Blog about how the DOJ got benchslapped -- for fabricating evidence. -
Non-Sequiturs
Non-Sequiturs: 06.05.15
* Cue the Subway song: 130 Million. 130 Million Dollar. 130 Million Dollar Sandwich! [Law360]
* Lawyers who denigrate jury duty become inmates who denigrate jury duty. [Las Vegas Review-Journal]
* Vox gets into the business of opining on law school. It takes a decidedly more enlightened approach than Slate. [Vox]
* After arresting a guy for crack possession and figuring out it was really “cracker crumbs,” the cops charged the guy with obstruction because admitting you’re wrong is so passé. Thankfully the cooler heads of the judicial system prevailed and the guy is getting a $35,000 settlement for his troubles. Did he have Wheat Thins? Because I’m pretty sure those are crack. [NJ.com]
* Oil heir Al Hill III, whom we’ve previously described as, “by most accounts, the epitome of the spoiled rich kid you desperately want to punch,” owes his lawyers some money. Like $40.9 million worth. [Texas Lawyer]
* Crowdsourcing: Is this racist? Personally, I think no if specifically intended as a parody, but we’ll see. [What About Clients?]
* On Tuesday, June 23, David and Seventh Circuit Judge John Tinder will be discussing “Judging, Clerking, Ethics, and Ambition” in the context of Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link) at the Conrad Indianapolis at 50 West Washington. So, you know, swipe right if you’re excited about seeing Judge Tinder. Full details at the link.
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Technology
Judges Call Out Prosecutors For Overreach; Call Out Third Judge For Suggesting Courts Shouldn't Challenge Government
"Unlike judges, such as our concurring friend, who apparently believe it is never appropriate... to express reservations or disapproval of manifestly irregular, if not illegal, “strategic choices” by prosecutors, I believe judges need to say more, not less."
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Federal Judges, Weirdness
The Greatest Concurrence Ever? Maybe....
If brevity is the soul of wit, this one-sentence concurring opinion is very witty. -
Benchslaps, Crime
Lawyer Arrested... Mid Trial
Practice pointer: do not appear as a client's defense attorney at trial when there is an outstanding warrant for your arrest. -
Non-Sequiturs
Non-Sequiturs: 05.26.15
* A divided Fifth Circuit panel delivered bad news for President Obama on immigration today. [How Appealing]
* Want to track the Dewey & LeBoeuf criminal case in real time? Dewey have a resource for you: the liveblog of Law360. [Law360]
* Benchslap of the Day (from Judge Beth Bloom): “A rose by any other name may smell as sweet…. People, not so much.” [Southern District of Florida]
* Another must-read graduation speech: at Seton Hall, outgoing dean Pat Hobbs surprised each graduate with a gift package: a McDonald’s happy meal gift card, a Mega Millions lottery ticket, and a quarter for calling him if times get tough. (For other graduation gift ideas, see our ATL gift guide.) [Seton Hall Law School]
* Why lawyers shouldn’t take the “kitchen sink” approach to their clients’ affirmative defenses. [Angry Asian Man]
* Is San Mateo District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe going easy on a sheriff’s deputy accused of wrongdoing? [San Jose Mercury News]
* Need something to listen to for your next commute or trip to the gym? Check out my chat with Shearman & Sterling partner Richard Hsu about Above the Law, Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link), and more. [Hsu Untied]
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Benchslaps, Canada
The View From Up North: Judge Benchslaps The Cops For Beating A Black Man
Police abuses against minorities don't happen only in America, as Canadian columnist Steve Dykstra explains. -
Benchslaps, Rudeness, State Judges
Benchslap Of The Day: A Judge's 'Retarded' Remarks Result In Reversal
A state high court benchslaps a trial judge for making impartial and derogatory remarks in a child custody dispute. - Sponsored
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Benchslaps, D.C. Circuit, Television
The One Where The D.C. Circuit Benchslaps The Federal Government
A federal judge cites the TV sitcom "Friends" to kick off her latest opinion. -
Benchslaps
These Guys Ticked Off The Wrong Bankruptcy Judge
He tried to be a patient man. And then they pushed him too far. -
Attorney Misconduct, Legal Ethics
Lawyer Dates Daughter's Roommate, Gets Disbarred
The set-up is skeevy. What happens next is downright troubling. -
Non-Sequiturs
Non-Sequiturs: 04.22.15
* Oh no you didn’t. Benchslap comes down on firm who tried to squeeze words together and tighten spaces to stay within page limits. [How Appealing]
* “Five Charts That Show You Should Apply to Law School This Year.” Slightly less educational than the 30 Cats That Are More Badass Than You. [Bloomberg Business]
* In fact, law schools are really almost indistinguishable from the show Community. Funny but not quite as funny as 4 years ago? Well, maybe that too. [The Legal Watchdog]
* I’ll just leave this as a prompt for your own short fiction: “Lexington woman being strangled with bra fights off attacker with ceramic chicken”… [WKYT]
* Following on Alex Rich’s post about the “blame game” in eDiscovery, the problem goes well beyond that industry — even if it’s the most recent manifestation. [Law and More]
* Do you know your Earth Day history? Like which lawyer turned Senator founded the occasion? [What About Clients?]
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Benchslaps, Federal Judges, Funny Headlines
Federal Judge Benchslaps Litigant For Acting Like An Ostrich
Pull your head out of the sand, unless you want to lose your appeal.
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Benchslaps, State Judges Are Clowns
Judge Benchslaps Fellow Jurist In Awesomely Feisty Footnote
Whoa, these judges probably shouldn't sit next to each other on the bench at court. -
10th Circuit, Benchslaps, Federal Judges, Neil Gorsuch
Benchslap Of The Day: No More Mr. Nice Guy
"At some point, this court has a duty to do more than observe, record, and warn. It has a duty to act." -
Non-Sequiturs
Non-Sequiturs: 03.23.15
* Chicago Law grad went up to Alaska and challenged an Iditarod musher to an arm wrestling match. That’s when she broke her arm. This decision should trigger an automatic two-spot drop in the U.S. News rankings. [Alaska Dispatch News]
* An interview with Keith Wetmore, former Chairman of Morrison and Foerster, diving into his childhood growing up in a funeral home. From working with one group of stiffs to another. [Hsu Untied]
* The Howard Shipley saga has come to an end. [Wall Street Journal]
* Ruh roh. Biglaw partner earns a hearty benchslap for deliberately misleading the court. You can’t do that — save it for the summer associates asking about having a family. [Legal Business]
* California lawyer Matt McLaughlin continues his Quixotic drive to have the state execute all the gay people. Now we have a pithy name for his proposed amendment: “The Intolerant Jackass Act.” [Slate]
* David talks to Bloomberg about why Above the Law hurts people’s feelings. It’s more diplomatic than my answer: because they’re soft. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]
* A lawyer testifies to the state legislature about how great a right-to-work law will be… for his bankruptcy practice. Troll hard, my friend. [YouTube]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwnwXFhKObI
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Bankruptcy, Benchslaps, Biglaw, Duane Morris
Bankruptcy Judge Benchslaps A Biglaw Firm -- Hard
This bankruptcy judge is mad as hell, and he's not going to take this anymore. -
Benchslaps, Fashion, United Kingdom / Great Britain
Judge Rips Into Lawyer For Dressing 'Like Something Out Of Harry Potter'
The transcript of this benchslap is both hilarious and cringe-worthy. -
Benchslaps, Quote of the Day, Richard Posner
Judge Posner Schools Colleagues On Marriage, Basic Logic
Judge Posner sounds exacerbated by his colleagues in this benchslap from a recent dissent. -
Benchslaps, Weirdness
This Is The Best Brief About Dead Cats Ever
Do yourself a favor and read this response brief. Seriously, it's the best thing you'll read all day.