Benchslaps
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Benchslaps
The 'Creepy' 'Stalker' Lawyer Who Wasn't
An appellate panel turns the tables on the judge who labeled a lawyer creepy for just doing his job. -
9th Circuit, Alex Kozinski, Quote of the Day
Ninth Circuit Orders Release Of Man Due To Prosecutorial Misconduct
Check out the video; arguing this case probably wasn't fun for the government lawyer. - Sponsored
Early Adopters Of Legal AI Gaining Competitive Edge In Marketplace
How to best leverage generative AI as an early adopter with ethical use. -
Bankruptcy, Benchslaps
Beleaguered Banker Benchslapped Back To The Stone Age
Whatever you do, don't lie to a judge. They really don't like it when litigants do that.
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Non-Sequiturs
Non-Sequiturs: 01.09.15
* Ted Cruz Goes To Jury Duty is the Ernest Goes To Camp of a new generation. [NBC News]
* Former Judge Mike Maggio has graced our pages with his disgrace before when he admitted to making racist and sexist remarks about Charlize Theron’s adoption. Well, he just pleaded guilty to federal bribery charges. Looks like he’ll Geaux to prison. [Arkansas Times]
* Faced with allegations that it discriminated against a trans woman, Saks takes the curious legal stance that it had the legal right to discriminate. I’d say that takes balls, but… [Slate]
* A hearing board in Illinois just recommended a one-year suspension of former Sidley Austin and present DLA Piper attorney Lee Smolen. Maybe he could spend that time with his kids. [Legal Profession Blog]
* Fourth Circuit rules that you can’t set up unconstitutional barriers to abortion. Nothing to do with the woman’s rights of course, but because it might impact the doctor’s free speech. [Dorf on Law]
* Fired for wife-swapping. [Lowering the Bar]
* Jones Day accuses a federal judge of bias in benchslap appeal. Meanwhile, trial lawyers are filing amicus briefs backing the judge. [ACEDS]
* Technology and outsourcing have totally jacked the careers of Biglaw associates. You already knew this, but now there’s a paper! [TaxProf Blog]
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Benchslaps
Judge Complains About Lawyer's 'Repugnant Stench'
In the annals of benchslaps, this one is pretty bad. -
Benchslaps, Quote of the Day
Judge Benchslaps O'Melveny With Rolled Up Newspaper
Biglaw firm representing a media company with a dog logo gets sent to the doghouse. -
Biglaw, Supreme Court
Biglaw Partner Could Get Supreme Spanking For Bizarre Filing
What was this partner thinking when he filed this off-the-wall petition with the Supreme Court? -
Benchslaps
Judge Uses Cartoons To Benchslap Jones Day
Law firm tried to pull a fast one on a federal judge. The judge was not amused. - Sponsored
Navigating Financial Success by Avoiding Common Pitfalls and Maximizing Firm Performance
In this CLE-eligible webinar, we’ll explore the most common accounting pitfalls and how to avoid them for your firm. -
8th Circuit, Benchslaps, Federal Judges, Litigators, Quote of the Day
Benchslap Of The Day: Hot Stuff Gets A Sick Burn
A lesson in what NOT to do when filing a reply brief. -
Benchslaps, Email Scandals, Federal Circuit, Federal Judges, Intellectual Property, Legal Ethics, Litigators, Partner Issues, Patents, Seth Waxman
Federal Circuit Benchslaps Prominent Patent Practitioner
But is the former chief judge really more to blame? -
Benchslaps, Canada
The View From Up North: Funny Judge
If you’re going to read only one case this year, give this one a try -- it's full of amazing benchslaps. -
Benchslaps, Federal Judges, Gay, Gay Marriage, Litigators
Same-Sex Marriage Judge Benchslap: Litigation Is Between One Plaintiff And One Defendant
There's a certain level of irony at play when anti-gay marriage advocates decide the normal binary rules shouldn't apply to them.... -
7th Circuit, Benchslaps, Litigators, Richard Posner, Ted Frank
More Benchslaps -- But Mild Ones -- From Judge Richard Posner
Judge Posner channels Mr. Spock: "So [your client] is not logical, you're saying."
Sponsored
The Business Case For AI At Your Law Firm
Navigating Financial Success by Avoiding Common Pitfalls and Maximizing Firm Performance
Early Adopters Of Legal AI Gaining Competitive Edge In Marketplace
Sponsored
Is The Future Of Law Distributed? Lessons From The Tech Adoption Curve
Legal AI: 3 Steps Law Firms Should Take Now
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5th Circuit, Benchslaps, Litigators, Racism
How Not To Behave At Oral Argument
Don't condescend to the judges on your appellate panel, and try to show up wearing pants... -
Benchslaps, Fashion
Judge To Attorney: Put On Some Damn Socks!
An attorney recently tried out his Sonny Crockett look in the courtroom. The judge was not as much of a Vice fan.... -
Benchslaps, Drugs, Football, Law Schools, Morning Docket
Morning Docket: 08.29.14
In honor of the Simpsons marathon let’s introduce each of these with a Simpsons quote.
* Dr. Hibbert: And hillbillies want to be called “Sons of the Soil,” but it ain’t gonna happen. — BofA wants that $1.3 billion verdict tossed as “unreasonable.” [Law360]
* Superintendent Chalmers: Oh, I have had it, I have had it with this school, Skinner! The low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children! — Suffolk University fired its president just days before school began. I’d like to think it was over their subway ads. In any event, the interim president seems to get the problem: “‘I don’t think there’s growth there,’ he said, referring to [law school] enrollment.” [Boston Globe]
* Homer: Barney’s movie had heart, but “Football in the Groin” had a football in the groin — College football kicked off last night (or Wednesday if we cared about Georgia State), so check in with the lawyer for the USC player who pretended he injured himself saving his nephew’s life. [Deadspin]
* Lionel Hutz: There’s the truth and… the truth! — Bracewell & Giuliani partner, Glenn A. Ballard Jr., got benchslapped in Texas for “an affront to this court, to the other parties and to judicial integrity.” Everything’s bigger in Texas. [Houston Chronicle]
* Chief Wiggum: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say blah blah blah blah blah blah. — After Philip Seymour Hoffman’s overdose, the police actually arrested a jazz musician. He got no jail time after he hired a new lawyer, Alex Spiro, who went after the cops for taking advantage of his client. [NY Daily News]
* Jimbo: You let me down, man. Now I don’t believe in nothing no more. I’m going to law school. — Professor Campos wonders if American University law school will sue students who drop out or transfer? [Lawyers, Guns & Money]
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Benchslaps, Biglaw, Technology
Latham Sued For Malicious Prosecution
Latham still has an opportunity to defend itself, but the language of the opinion is not encouraging. -
Benchslaps, Court Reporters / Stenographers, Screw-Ups, State Judges, Trials
Bench Berates Contemptuous Court Reporters Over Tardy Transcripts
If a court reporting service just didn't prepare transcripts in criminal cases for months on end, they might earn themselves a hearty benchslapping. -
7th Circuit, Benchslaps, Gay, Gay Marriage, Richard Posner
Judge Posner's Blistering Benchslaps At The Same-Sex Marriage Arguments
Judge Posner didn't go easy on lawyers trying to defend the Indiana and Wisconsin bans on same-sex marriage. -
7th Circuit, Andrew Cuomo, Benchslaps, Biglaw, Blogging, Erwin Chemerinsky, Fast Food, Gay, Gay Marriage, In-House Counsel, Law Professors, Mergers and Acquisitions, Morning Docket, New York Times, Police, Politics, Richard Posner, SCOTUS, Sports, Supreme Court, Tim Wu
Morning Docket: 08.27.14
* Judge Posner dished out a whole lot of benchslaps at yesterday’s Seventh Circuit arguments over Indiana and Wisconsin’s bans on same-sex marriage. [BuzzFeed]
* Major U.S. and Canadian law firms chow down on Burger King’s whopper of a deal with Tim Hortons. [Am Law Daily]
* A recent Delaware court ruling on attorney-client privilege might allow in-house lawyers to speak more freely about wrongdoing at their companies, according to Professor Steven Davidoff Solomon. [DealBook / New York Times]
* The corruption trial of former Virginia governor continues; yesterday Bob McDonnell’s sister took the stand. [Washington Post]
* A favorable evidentiary ruling for Aaron Hernandez. [Fox Sports]
* And good news for Zephyr Teachout and Tim Wu, the two law professors running for governor and lieutenant governor of New York: the Times dissed their opponent, Andrew Cuomo, with a non-endorsement. [New York Times]
* I recently spoke with one of my cousins Joao Atienza of the Cebu Sun Star, about Above the Law and the world of legal blogging. [Cebu Sun Star]