Benchslaps

* The Justice Department is seeking a stay of Judge Andrew Hanen’s benchslap and order of ethics training while it appeals the ruling — a ruling the DOJ says could cost approximately $5 million to $8 million to comply with. [Texas Lawyer]

* Cheryl D. Mills, chief of staff to Hillary Clinton at the State Department, wishes that the issue of Clinton’s private email server “had been something we thought about.” [New York Times]

* Jim Lewis, counsel to Sigfredo Garcia, the man charged last week with the murder of Professor Dan Markel, maintains that Garcia had “had nothing to do with” the crime. [Tallahassee Democrat]

* Former attorney general Eric Holder says NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden performed a “public service” by sparking a debate over government surveillance — but still must pay a price for his illegal actions. [CNN]

* The Fourth Circuit holds that the police don’t need a warrant to obtain a person’s cellphone location data. [How Appealing]

* In other Fourth Circuit news, the court won’t go en banc to rehear its prior ruling in favor of the Obama Administration’s policy that transgender students are protected under existing civil rights law (aka the “transgender bathroom case”). [BuzzFeed via How Appealing]

* Those unsealed Trump University documents we mentioned yesterday? They don’t put the Donald in the best light. [New York Times]

* And Donald Trump isn’t getting much financial love from the legal community, as measured by campaign contributions (c’mon, Jones Day lawyers, help your client out). [American Lawyer]

* Judge Joseph Portelli of New Jersey, recently reprimanded for alleged inappropriate comments to counsel, gets renominated to the bench. [ABA Journal]

* Legal Eagle Wedding Watch: congratulations and best wishes to acclaimed novelist (and Dentons partner) Scott Turow and fellow lawyer Adriane Glazier — who first met when he interviewed her years ago for a summer associate gig. [New York Times]

* Oxford Law students can miss classes if they find the crimes being discussed upsetting. What’s happened to the legendary British stiff upper lip? [HeatStreet]

* Update on the story about the lawyer who apparently lied about his mom’s death to get out of court deadlines. Judge Ross didn’t even need to reach the question of whether or not he lied to slap down some sanctions. [ABA Journal]

* A short horror story inspired by author Timothy DeLizza’s Biglaw summer experience. [Your Impossible Voice]

* As we mentioned earlier today, David Boies played a hotshot lawyer on the series finale of The Good Wife. Pfft, typecasting. [The Careerist]

* BYU law student says he was almost expelled for writing in support of marriage equality. [Tax Prof Blog]

* Kaley Cuoco understands the value of a good lawyer. [Jezebel]

* Professors at George Mason are outraged that administrators agreed to rename the law school after the late Justice Antonin Scalia without any input from the people who work or study there — his opinions don’t “reflect the values of our campus community.” They’re circulating a petition to denounce the name change, but thus far, none of its signatories are law professors. [NBC News]

* “I would appreciate if we could keep things that are very serious here appropriately viewed that way.” 50 Cent got yelled at by his bankruptcy judge because he brought his cellphone into the courthouse, took a picture of himself with a stack of fake cash, and posted it on Instagram. A motion to dismiss this wanksta is needed. [WSJ Law Blog]

* SCOTUS will hear oral arguments on the appeal of securities fraud case Salman v. United States next term, and Eugene Ingoglia of Morvillo L.L.P. hopes the justices will provide some greater detail as to “what counts as a personal benefit.” Let’s just hope that they don’t make insider trading’s road any rockier. [DealBook / New York Times]

* “The district court’s ruling errs in so many respects that it is hard to know where to begin.” You know that when an appellate holding begins with the prior statement, the trial judge is going to be in for a doozy of a benchslap. We’ll have more on the First Circuit slapping around Judge Juan Pérez-Giménez (D.P.R.) later today. [BuzzFeed]

* Jamie Wine, who was recently appointed as the chair of Latham’s global litigation and trial department, says even though L&W already has 610 litigators, she’s looking to hire more of them in the firm’s New York and London offices. If you think you want to lateral in, you should know you may be meeting with up to 50 partners. [Big Law Business]

* Hiring for law school summer associates may be on the rise, but you shouldn’t assume this means you’ll automatically be able to land a job at a prestigious law firm. These firms tend to “put a high value on law school pedigree and grades,” so if you happen to attend a lesser school, you’ll need to be ranked very highly. [U.S. News & World Report]

* Combining April Fools’ Day, tax season, and furry pets into a single joke. Well played, sir. [TaxProf Blog]

* Booooo! This spoilsport argues that judges should stop issuing benchslaps. We disagree. [SSRN]

* Prepare to have your worldview shaken: Richard Nixon and William Rehnquist are actually the ones responsible for paving the path for transgender rights. [Slate]

* This term, the Supreme Court is on track for the fewest signed opinions in recent history. Take a detailed look at the Court’s first 19 decisions. [Empirical SCOTUS]

* President Obama is taking the fight over Merrick Garland to UChicago Law. [Huffington Post]

* A judge is allowing a lawsuit against a Northwestern’s journalism school to go forward. The suit alleges the school’s “innocence project” uses unethical practices in its wrongful conviction investigations. [Journal-ism]

* Get the rundown on the rules that will govern the GOP convention and the establishment’s last stand against Trump. [Lawyers, Guns and Money]