Bernie Fine

Ed. note: This column will be about sports. And the law. And the intersection of those two things. And whatever the hell else Juggalo Law can come up with.

One summer during my childhood, I wanted nothing more than five copies of X-Force number one. I must have spent a solid two months harassing my mother and, when she finally had had enough, she relented, saying she’d buy the comic book for me if I hit a home run in my next little league game. She could have just said no. Because I didn’t stand a chance that summer. I was afraid of the ball and would flinch ever-so-gently as soon as the ball was pitched towards the plate. I’d try to catch up to its trajectory, but I was toast every single time. When the next game arrived, I had forgotten about my mom’s promise. And, in my last at-bat, I flinched, closed my eyes, and then swung at what I could only hope was the ball. Home run. My only home run. My sweetest accomplishment ever in baseball. My only accomplishment, really. As we walked into the house after the game, I loudly reminded my mom of her promise. She shrugged and continued inside. And that’s when my sister asked me one seemingly innocuous question. “What’s that on your pants?” Do I have to tell you, dear readers? Do I have to confess to you that there was urine on my otherwise clean and unfortunately bright white pants, a memento left in loving memory of my fear or my relief or my pride?

Fact is, I can’t really remember why I peed a little. LET’S TALK SPORTS!

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Sports Law, Spaw, Lorts: An Introduction”

* Apparently Gloria Allred will only take male clients if they’re controversial enough to keep her in the limelight. She’s representing the alleged sex abuse victims in a suit against Syracuse and basketball coach Jim Boeheim. [CNN]

* Law School Transparency breaks it down for the guy who believes that the “apocalyptic” views of the legal market are “overblown.” Of course, that guy just so happens to be a Cooley Law dean. How convenient. [The Careerist]

* Pleasure you want. Protection you trust. Unfortunately, DLA Piper blew its load all over the FTC’s antitrust probe of Trojan condoms. [Blog of Legal Times]

* Nanny state alert: texting while driving is already illegal in a majority of states, but what about talking while driving? Be prepared, because the NTSB says that’s a big no-no. [Bloomberg]

* You can blame Canada for this one. In February, the world will see the first ever moot court competition play out on Twitter. #noseriously [West Coast Environmental Law]