* It looks like the other slutty shoe has officially dropped. Two law firms have filed a $578 million class-action lawsuit against adultery dating site Ashley Madison for breaching their clients’ privacy rights. Impact Team must be thrilled. [TIME]
* Gov. Chris Christie says that if he’s elected president, he won’t nominate anyone with a Harvard Law or Yale Law degree to SCOTUS. Non-Ivy law schools better start priming and primping their most successful grads on the off chance Christie gets the nod. [CBS News]
* Case Western Law decided that two heads are better than one, because Jessica Berg and Michael Scharf were just permanently appointed to serve as co-deans. We can’t think of any other law school with a dynamic duo of deans like this. [Crain’s Cleveland Business]
* In Biglaw, romantic wranglings can follow you beyond the grave: Thomas Hale Boggs Jr.’s estate is doing battle with a woman who claims she had a relationship with the former head of Patton Boggs — and now she wants some of his property. [National Law Journal]
* He may be “used to playing on a different court,” but Michael Jordan really took it to the hole on this case. Defunct grocery store Dominick’s Finer Foods must now pay the sports star $8.9 million for using his name in a steak ad without his permission. [NBC News]
* Tough legal questions that need to be answered: What to do when you inherit a school bus full of guns? [Adequate Man]
* Do you know when to quit Biglaw? If you’re miserable, when should you start the search for your next career? [Corporette]
* When it is Justice v. Football on college campuses, justice usually loses — a look at Baylor’s investigation of Sam Ukwuachu. [Deadspin]
* Finally, a job that makes Biglaw look appealing. [Careerist]
* A Biglaw firm doing parental leave right. [Talentkeepers]
* What is real? Can it be the essence of a character distilled? [What About Paris]
* Toddlers’ favorite lawyer makes a late night appearance [YouTube]
It has long been the case in Hong Kong that most UK law firms and a very small minority of US law firms have three month notice periods for their US associates built into their employment contracts. But until about 18 months ago it was not common for any firm to enforce a three month notice period when a US associate left solo[…]
Check out these super-fun events — which is your favorite?
What can the legal profession learn from Silicon Valley when it comes to promoting workplace diversity?
* Due to the speed at which she was driving, Caitlyn Jenner could face a vehicular manslaughter charge related to the fatal chain-reaction car crash she was involved in earlier this year. The ESPY-winning celeb’s fate is in the district attorney’s hands now. [NBC News]
* Surprise! David Sweat, one of the New York inmates who led authorities on a three-week manhunt after he escaped from prison in June, pleaded not guilty to felony escape charges at his arraignment. He’ll likely get a few years added onto his life sentence if he’s convicted. [Reuters]
* Oh baby: Valeant is buying Sprout Pharmaceuticals, the maker of the “female Viagra,” for a cool $1 billion. Skadden Arps and Sullivan & Cromwell, the firms repping the companies, must be turned on by the deal. [DealBook / New York Times; Am Law Daily]
* Prosecutors in the David Messerschmitt case are seeking a 25-year sentence for Jamyra Gallmon, the woman who stabbed the DLA Piper associate in a robbery-gone-wrong and left him for dead in a D.C. hotel room. Her attorney is asking for 18 years. [Legal Times]
* The Florida Bar is recommending disbarment for a group of attorneys accused of arranging a DUI arrest for a rival attorney during a high-profile trial. You’ve got to admit this set-up was a particularly bold move, even for Flori-duh lawyers. [Tampa Bay Times]
What does the future hold for small law firms and solo practitioners? Managing partner Bruce Stachenfeld offers predictions and advice.
Which Biglaw firm has associates that need to take a selfie before tending to their pleadings?
Which Biglaw firm has given its associates “permission to be discouteous [sic]”?
* You’ve heard about what it’s like to be a Supreme Court clerk, but we bet you’ve never heard about what it’s like to be a Supreme Court intern. It’s apparently the “opportunity of a lifetime” to do errands and prepare lunch and meals for Justice Sonia Sotomayor. [Supreme Court Brief]
* If you’re trying to file an effective brief with the Supreme Court, it’s best to write in “relatively short sentences, with a non-confrontational tone.” In other words, you really shouldn’t be trying to emulate Justice Scalia’s “jiggery-pokery” flair. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]
* Wachtell Lipton may interested in going “big brother” on its associates, but when it comes to the Securities and Exchange Commission, the firm wants to steer clear of such voyeurism by doing away with clients’ quarterly reports. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]
* This judge didn’t play “just the tip” when it came to piercing his corporate veil: Paul Hansmeier of copyright-troll firm Prenda Law must pay sanctions to the tune of $64,000 after he drained cash from another one of his firms and then dissolved it. [Ars Technica]
* Texas Tech Law is introducing a “brain-training” seminar for its first-year law students that will “maximize their brains’ performance.” One wonders if they took such a course before law school if they’d be enrolled in the same place. [Lubbock Avalanche-Journal]
My father is a military man. Accordingly, all things in life, from mundane trips to the grocery store to complex life decisions like planning for and choosing a college, was subject to careful, deliberate planning. Digesting evidence and facts was a far better road than the proverbial “crossing of fingers” and trusting that “it will all work out for the best.” Former NYC mayor Rudolph Guiliani said it best when he announced that “Hope is not a strategy.”
I was reminded of this adage when reading a few industry reports compiling data points about corporate legal departments and the ever –increasing complexity of the regulatory environment. Here are some shockers:
Things at Reed Smith NY must be really, really bad, or the associates that penned the missive must be really, really naive.
This breaking news is brought to you by the phrase, “Babe, I need to tell you something, and I hope you won’t be mad.”
* This is a footlong you definitely don’t want (but it’s probably much more like a six-incher if he’s lucky). Former Subway spokesman Jared Fogle is expected to plead guilty to child-pornography charges. We can’t wait to see what his plea deal with authorities actually entails. [CNN]
* Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s lawyers filed a brief in favor of their client getting a new trial because his attack on the Boston Marathon apparently wasn’t a “crime of violence” within the meaning of the law he was sentenced under at trial. [WSJ Law Blog]
* “To achieve those solutions, wouldn’t it help if you had a free press?” Justice Ginsburg’s travels recently took her to Vietnam, where she spoke to a packed house about the country’s need for greater freedom of press to promote social justice. [Voice of America]
* Here’s a little-known fact about Biglaw: many of its most well-known partners were “White House rejects.” For example, Willkie Farr, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Bracewell & Giuliani, and Davis Polk are all named after failed presidential candidates. [Am Law Daily]
* A New Mexico criminal defense attorney charged with a slew of criminal offenses is representing himself in a trial having to do with his shooting of a man outside his office. His best defense thus far? The man was a “methed-out lunatic.” [Albuquerque Journal]
The firm is nationally known for hiring hotties. Its associates are probably billing for their beauty.
* Talk about Texas justice: After an elderly couple called animal control on a family with four dogs and caused them to be assessed a $121 fine, the dog-owning family posted this eloquently worded sign on their lawn. [San Francisco Chronicle]
* Chicago Blawkhawks hockey player Patrick Kane has been accused of rape, so naturally, his lawyer took to Facebook to defend his client in a hat trick of idiocy by engaging with bloggers, commenters, and witnesses, as one does. [CBS Chicago]
* Just when you thought you’d memorized all of the hearsay exceptions, the judiciary says it’s thinking of tossing one out. It may be popular on the bar exam, but it’s time to say goodbye to the otherwise rarely used ancient documents rule. [National Law Journal]
* British firms are borrowing “record sums” to fund expansion, and many have increased associate pay to compete with the U.S. firms with higher pay scales across the pond. Perhaps Biglaw firms ought to consider spreading the wealth over here. [Financial Times]
* After having served 10 months in prison for killing his girlfriend, a law school graduate turned model, Oscar Pistorius is ready to move on to “mansion arrest” for the remainder of his sentence. Man, it must be nice to be a wealthy convict in South Africa. [Reuters]
Nothing is guaranteed, but you can increase the odds that something good will happen to you in the future, as in-house columnist Mark Herrmann explains.