Bikinis

Cathy McCarthy

Law is one of the most conservative professions in the world, and in general, it is not a kind place for women. Every single thing women in the legal profession do is scrutinized, from the way they dress, to how they speak, and even the length of their hair. They say that women who are lawyers can have it all, but when we live in a world where we’re put up against such odds, it seems like an improbable, if not impossible, feat.

That’s why attorneys across the country are talking about a recent law school graduate who is trying to make her name in the legal community. This woman has a foot in two worlds — she’s a lawyer, but she’s also a bikini model, and she’s very upset that people may not take her seriously because of all of the skin she shows online.

Some are calling her an “HR nightmare,” but others are praising her for daring to dream. Who is she, and why should you care about her?

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Could this really happen at a law firm pool party?

It’s early June, and most summer associate programs are now in full swing. Sure, these Biglaw indoctrination programs have been pared down significantly since the days of yore, but law students are still having a great time gunning hard for offers. Staying at the office until 5:30 on the Friday of Memorial Day weekend was simply awesome. Everyone’s having so much fun!

Unfortunately, lurking in the dark underbelly of large law firms everywhere, a terrifying event lies in wait for these overly cheerful summer associates. Over the frustrated sighs of attorneys nationwide, news has spread that a pool party or beach outing has been scheduled. Sheer dread quickly spreads among the summer associates, and their pale skin from years spent studying blanches a shade whiter, as if such a thing were possible.

Dear God, what the hell should these people wear? Should they wear — gasp! — bathing suits?

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It’s that time again: it’s getting hot in herre [sic], and people at your firm have decided to take Nelly’s advice. While everyone’s gearing up for the big summer bash, you’ve got to deal with your next fashion headache. You’ve already been told that you should be wearing skirt suits and showing some leg on a day-to-day basis. And now that the weather is nice, lawyerly ladies want to know: can you, or rather, should you wear a bikini to your firm’s pool party?

We covered this issue last summer, where the be-all and end-all question was to boob or not to boob. At that point in time, I adopted an “if you’ve got it, why not flaunt it” stance. But now that I’m a year older, and (arguably) a year wiser, I’m here to offer our female readers some more mature advice to be used in this “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation with assistance from Kat Griffin of Corporette.

Keep reading for some Biglaw bathing suit etiquette that you shouldn’t have too much trouble following….

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