Brazil

Amanda Knox

* Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was chatty this week. In terms of same-sex marriage, the Notorious R.B.G. thinks “[t]he court handled both of those cases just the way they should have.” [Bloomberg]

* And just like a mean girl, Ruthie’s claws were out. After calling the Roberts Court “one of the most activist courts in history,” she offered comments on Justice Samuel Alito’s eye-rolling. [New York Times]

* Don’t cry for Argentina, the truth is it never respected you. After losing an appeal at the Second Circuit, the country has vowed to defy any of the court’s rulings with which it doesn’t agree. [Reuters]

* Texas takes the bull by the horns: the state’s Supreme Court will consider if it has the power and jurisdiction to grant gay divorces despite the fact that it bans gay marriage. [Houston Chronicle]

* “I have a temperament that doesn’t adapt well to politics. It’s because I speak my mind so much.” Joaquim Barbosa, chief justice of Brazil’s highest court and one of the most influential lawyers in the world (according to Time), isn’t afraid to tell it like it is. [New York Times]

* Since she was already acquitted of the murder of Meredith Kercher, Amanda Knox (fka Foxy Knoxy) will not be returning to Italy for her retrial. That would be as silly as admitting to participation in orgies. [CNN]

* Following a settlement on undisclosed terms, the suit filed against Paula Deen has been dismissed. It’s too bad that the Baroness of Butter’s career sunk like a spoiled soufflé in the process. [Businessweek]

* New York’s AG filed a $40M suit against Donald Trump, a rich man who can’t afford a decent hairstylist and allegedly makes students at Trump University weep with his “bait-and-switch” tactics. [NBC News]

Notice how this is a child? Don't act like a child.

True story: when I was a lawyer, sometimes I’d leave work and fantasize about jumping in front of a slow moving bus or cab and getting injured. Not enough to be in a life-threatening situation, just serious enough to be put in some ward of the hospital where my doctors wouldn’t allow me to do any more work. I knew just having a “note” from the doctor or being “sick” wasn’t enough. If you could see, you could review documents. So I needed an injury where somebody would prevent my employer from making me do any more work.

And an injury that was serious enough to allow me to quit would have kept my parents off my back. That’s the real business. If I had gotten, say, my left arm chopped off (I’m right handed), I figured I could credibly explain to my family that I had “a moment of clarity” and didn’t want to “waste my life in an office” anymore. Then I wouldn’t look like a “quitter” to my friends and family, and I’d look almost heroic for efforts to overcome my new disability. It would have worked!

I never did it, obviously. Eventually, I realized that quitting my job and dealing with the disappointment of my family and the unfounded perception that I “couldn’t cut it” from my friends was way more intelligent than cutting off my arm. And I think history has proven me right.  For instance, I have two arms, which is awesome.

But I thought about it — you think about all kinds of crazy things when you feel overwhelmed with work. It seems like a Brazilian university student took her thoughts a step further. To avoid completing her dissertation, she faked getting kidnapped….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “What Would You Do To Avoid Doing Homework? Would You Get Kidnapped?”

I believe the defendant failed a saving throw against berserker, so when he killed those people he didn't know right from wrong.

* Dressing shrinks as wizards when they testify would be an AWESOME idea. I’m serious. Why can’t we have this? And titles, too. “Your Honor, I call Dr. Freud — Ph.D in weakness management and keeper of the sacred staffs of Ivory guard — to the stand.” [Overlawyered]

* iTextbooks! Could be awesome, could widen the gap between the rich and the iPoor. [Adjunct Law Prof Blog]

* Old lawyer accidentally smuggles a gun onto a plane, mainly because security — which noticed said gun — forgot to stop her. TSA doesn’t make us more safe, folks. It just makes us more molested. [Daily Mail]

* Apparently, LLMs go great with Brazilians. The people, not the grooming. Or maybe both — I don’t know, but I was only asked about people. [Live Mint]

* To be clear, putting slavery analogies into our math problems is bad… unless you are a college basketball or football star trying to work out how much you got paid in free tuition for last night’s game, versus how much the university made off of the performance of your team. Then the analogy is “apt.” [CBS Atlanta]

* White people problems, written by a former Cahill Gordon associate who quit to take a job in television. [Funny or Die]

* Additional impressive hires by an elite litigation boutique. How long before MoloLamken ends up on somebody’s hot list? [MoloLamken]


Many people have a cartoonish understanding of Brazil.

At Northwestern Law, the PC Police have a long and storied history. You are, of course, free to say what you want to say, but if you offend other people’s cultural sensibilities, you had best expect a reaction from other Northwestern students — whether the cultural slight was real or just perceived.

This week, a group of Northwestern Law students planning a study abroad trip in Brazil got smacked down by the PC police for being insensitive toward Brazil’s culture.

Now, in fairness, everything I know about Brazil comes from cultural stereotypes. If I went, I’d expect to be hanging out with amazingly attractive women who get horny for Jesus, while the men play soccer by day and capoeira dance-fight at night. It would all be a wonderful time, unless I went into the rainforest, where I’d die in short order from either a new species of venomous mammal or at the hands of illegal loggers who are selfishly destroying the world’s best carbon scrubber.

Is that wrong? According to some Northwestern kids, I am way off base….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Northwestern PC Police Trying to Change the Image Of Brazil, One Email at a Time”

Mabel: the best (and cutest) attack dog ever.

* Reason No. 564,857,495,736 Why Law Graduates Are Unemployable: They don’t have good skills. You know, like social skills, networking skills, bow hunting skills. Just the usual. [Wall Street Journal]

* At 91, Justice Stevens has got a virile mind, but he may have suffered a premature evacuation from the bench of the Supreme Court. [ABA Journal]

* Michele Bachmann wants to amend the constitution to define marriage as between a woman and a man. Those pornless marriages are going to be pretty boring. [The Note / ABC News]

* Sorry, guys, but your “Amazon fishing expedition” is on hold because of the DOJ’s child sex tourism lawsuit. Go Wet Your Line somewhere else, with someone of age. [New York Times]

* Nature, you’re doing it wrong. I said Tyler Coulson should attack the wild like Bear, not be attacked by a bear. Don’t worry, because Mabel saved the day. [New York Post]

* This lawsuit against the PGA is grrrrreat! Which tiger is more distracting: one in a bright orange costume, or one with a bevy of bimbos? [ProGolfTalk / NBC Sports]

* With Deathly Hallows: Part 2 opening this Friday, the Wizarding World of Harry Potter probably wishes it could cast some evanesco and make this Cezanne font lawsuit disappear. [Gothamist]

Are we good if this is my default photo for anything involving Brazil?

UPDATE (5:30 PM): Please note that the veracity of this story has been called into question. For more, see the note at the end of this post. (Or ignore the note and pretend that the story is real; life’s more fun that way.)

Fair warning: I will not succeed in writing this post like an adult.

A Brazilian woman who in the past needed to masturbate up to 47 times a day has won the right to masturbate at work. The woman suffers from severe anxiety and “hypersexuality,” which is apparently a real thing and not just as something that’s been invented for the porn industry.

Excuse me, I need a minute to ask God why I don’t get to work with the Brazilian nympho woman who has to masturbate at work…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lawsuit of the Day: Woman Allowed To Relieve Pressures Via Masturbation At Work”

Burka in the court?

* The three defendants in the civil wrongful-death action brought by Robert Wone’s widow are keeping their mouths shut. [National Law Journal]

* But their former house is open — and once again on the market, for the tidy sum of $1.6 million. [Who Murdered Robert Wone?]

* Professor Eugene Volokh wants to know, with respect to wearing religious head coverings to court, can’t we all just get along? [Volokh Conspiracy]

Lavi Soloway

* Congratulations to Lavi Soloway and his client, Henry Velandia, whose deportation proceedings have been adjourned — due in part to a recent decision by Attorney General Eric Holder, vacating a BIA decision in another case involving a same-sex couple. [Poliglot / Metro Weekly]

* Speaking of judges and gay marriage, maybe Justice Kennedy should trade Salzburg for São Paulo this summer. [ABA Journal]

* What is behind the spring bonus phenomenon? One big factor: the boom in the lateral hiring market. [Vault's Law Blog]

* Speaking of the state of the legal economy, we’ve already linked to the big Economist article on the legal profession — but check out this great photo, in case you missed it. [The Economist / Tumblr]

* Are harsh sanctions for discovery violations a good thing? Ben Kerschberg thinks so. [Law & Technology / Forbes]

* Don’t forget to wish your mom a Happy Mother’s Day! (Unless your mom is Vivia Chen.) [The Careerist]

* Litigators: Do you know about the usefulness of Rule 56(f) 56(d)? [What About Clients?]

* When Glenn Reynolds is away, Ann Althouse will play. [Althouse via Instapundit]

* Were your law school classmates this attractive? Probably not. [YouTube]

child learns adult games.jpg* This is one former Clintonite that Obama won’t tap for his cabinet. California lawyer Wade Rowland Sanders, a deputy assistant secretary of the Navy under Clinton, was netted in a child porn investigation, with a whopping 600 images on his computer. [CNN]

* There are many reasons to object to the U.S. taxpayers bailing out financial services companies, but this is the most creative by far. The Thomas More Law Center has filed suit against Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and the Federal Reserve. The non-profit law firm that promotes conservative Christian values says Paulson & co. are promoting Shariah law by bailing out AIG. [Fox News]

* Those Brazilians really love their caipiriihinas with their cars. Party-loving Brazilians chafe under the country’s new “dry law.” Critics of the zero tolerance for drunk driving crackdown liken it to “terrorism,” calling it unconstitutional and authoritarian. [Washington Post]

* The FBI whistleblower in the Ted Stevens case is alleging wrongdoing by the prosecution. The former Alaskan senator’s attorneys request once again that the case be dismissed or a new trial held. [Politico]

* Maybe that angry Biglaw first year was right. Over fifty percent of the respondents in our (admittedly unscientific) survey reported hours hoarding is happening at their firms. [Vizu Poll Results]

* You heard it here (first!) yesterday. RIP Thacher Proffitt & Wood. [Bloomberg]