Carmen Ortiz

Aaron Hernandez CuffsI used to plagiarize the hell out of encyclopedia entries. If some weathered-old hag of a 6th grade teacher was going to ask me to write a report on the state bird of Kansas, you better believe that a Mr. Funk and Mr. Wagnall were going to be quoted heavily. And better than that, they weren’t going to be quoted at all! Because I was straight gaffling passages left and right out of those big, dusty volumes. Although the Sturnella neglecta eats grain, it also has a prodigious appetite for crop-damaging insects. That “prodigious appetite” bit? All me. A+!

So yeah, middle school was a breeze.

Yesterday, Aaron Hernandez’s defense team failed in its attempt to move Hernandez’s trial. As part of their argument before the court, they accused prosecutors of plagiarizing from their more accomplished brethren. In the process, they laid bare why the legal profession can, and will, soon be taken over by foreigners. Or robots.

Or foreign robots…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “The Road From Play Action To Plagiarism Is… Murder!!!”

Patrick Bateman? No, Tabber Benedict (via Getty).

* Former Biglaw associate Tabber Benedict, whom we’ve mentioned before (in happier times), reportedly threw a lavish “going away” party — going away to prison, that is. [Daily Mail]

* Take your pick: is government an “impetuous vortex” or a “hideous monster [with] devouring jaws”? [Althouse]

* Some thoughts from Juan Haines, a current San Quentin inmate and jailhouse lawyer, on wrongful conviction. [Life of the Law]

* In defense of the weekly meeting. [What About Clients?]

* Prosecutors: above the (traffic) law? []

* And how about the U.S. Postal Service? [Felix Salmon]

* The furor over U.S. Attorney Carmen Ortiz and the late Aaron Swartz shows no sign of abating. [How Appealing]

* Speaking of technology law, how would you like to win $5,000? If so, check out this contest. [IT-Lex]

* The early numbers for the Am Law 100 are in, and it looks like Husch Blackwell’s gross revenue grew by six percent in 2012 after a two-year decline. Hmm… perhaps the firm is saving money by cutting back on its rejection letter proofreaders. [Am Law Daily]

* “If I can’t settle with any of those parties, I will sue them.” Howrey’s trustee, Allan Diamond, plans to sue former partners of the failed firm with a vengeance — and quite “quickly” — if they refuse to cooperate with him. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* Speaking of bankrupt law firms, former Dewey partner Steven Otillar may proceed with his various claims against Citibank over the repayment of his $209K capital contribution loan. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Anyone remember Amy McTeer, the attorney who doubled as an apparent model for “faces of meth”? She resigned from the bar after allegedly helping her boyfriend escape from jail. Classy! [National Law Journal]

* Carmen Ortiz, the U.S. Attorney whose name was dragged through the mud after Aaron Swartz’s suicide, claims she intended to recommend only a six-month sentence for the deceased internet hero. [Bloomberg]