Cease and desist letters
Sometimes lawyers are a little too quick to send out cease-and-desist letters.
The second pod of round 1 voting in the ATL Lawyer Letter Bracket it here!
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With years of hilarious letters piled up, it’s time to revisit the archives and crown a champion.
* Poe’s The Raven, if the narrator was a midlevel associate working on Christmas. Excerpt: As of someone slowly rapping, rapping at my office door. “‘Tis the janitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my office door — Likely here to clean the floor.” Ha. [Law Poetry]
* In the wake of Greece, a Satanist wants to open a government meeting with a Satanic prayer. When reached for comment, Dick Cheney said he was flattered. [Broward Palm Beach New Times]
* Dan Snyder is just awful. Now he’s sent a cease and desist letter to LaVar Arrington because Arrington describes himself as a “Redskins great.” Because if anyone around here is going to needlessly slur indigenous people, it’s going to be Dan Snyder. [Deadspin]
* Speaking of cease and desist letters, the one we talked about yesterday — sent over a bad Amazon review — has resulted in Amazon yanking the seller’s license. [ArsTechnica]
* Come on, lawyers. Clean up after yourselves. Especially if you’re just leaving Molly all over someone else’s car. [South Florida Lawyers]
* Guy in Alabama killed his wife, three dogs and a parrot after she sent a critical text. I know this is a tragedy, but as I saw the story all I could think is the parrot was somehow completely to blame. [AL.com]
* There’s still a slave plantation in the United States and it’s terrifying. [Policy Mic]
* Sometimes it’s worth remembering that we have it very easy as lawyers compared to some in other parts of the world. A lawyer representing a professor accused of blasphemy in Pakistan was gunned down last night. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]
* A conversation with Solicitor General Donald Verrilli. The full interview is available after the jump… [California Lawyer]
* Justice Ginsburg was a hottie back in the day (as well as a cheerleader, aka a “Twirler”). [Josh Blackman’s Blog]
* “When a Juror Calls You a Motherf*cker” (or, how not to get out of jury duty). [New York Personal Injury Law Blog]
* Professor Edward Morrison returns to Columbia Law, after a very short stint at U. Chicago — maybe he missed his fabulous Lawyerly Lair in Manhattan? [Columbia Law School]
* Speaking of CLS faculty members with multimillion-dollar townhouses, congratulations to Sarah Cleveland on her nomination to serve as an independent expert on the Human Rights Committee. [Columbia Law School]
* After getting a cease-and-desist letter, this Maine bakery renamed the controversial treat “C&D” — well played, Little Bigs Bakery, well played. [WMTV.com]
* In the wake of the latest “no cleavage” memo, which made the pages of the New York Daily News, Amanda Hess conducts a comprehensive survey of this odious genre. [Slate]
* Social media isn’t a panacea, but it can be important and useful, and lawyers should use it responsibly — so check out these new Social Media Ethics Guidelines for Attorneys. [New York State Bar Association]
Which “out of control” celebrity just got super-snarky in responding to a cease and desist letter?
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Congratulations to our 2013 Lawyer of the Year!
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* “Either access to abortion will be dramatically restricted in the coming year or perhaps the pushback will begin.” We’re moving back in history. Here’s hoping pro-choice advocacy will be born anew in 2014. [New York Times]
* George S. Canellos, the SEC’s co-chief of enforcement, announced his departure on Friday, and people are already wondering whether he’ll return to his old stomping grounds at Milbank Tweed. [DealBook / New York Times]
* We hope legal educators had fun at the Association of American Law Schools annual meeting, but we hope most of all that they learned what needs to change to really make legal education pay. [WSJ Law Blog]
* “I believe women lawyers can contribute a lot to the legal system.” Saudi Arabia now has its first female law firm dedicated to bringing women’s issues to the country’s patriarchal courts. Congratulations! [RT]
* A Starbucks spokeswoman issued a defense to the cease-and-desist response letter that went viral worldwide, and it reads just like how her company’s coffee tastes: bland. [International Business Times]
* Amy “Tiger Mom” Chua is back with a vengeance, co-authoring a controversial new book (affiliate link) with her husband, Jed Rubenfeld. Which cultural groups are superior? [New York Post]
What’s next in eDiscovery? In this On Demand webinar, Recommind explores how predictive coding has evolved, and how prioritized review helps with fact-finding and legal problem solving. Watch this in-depth webinar to learn how advanced analytics and machine learning are powering litigation strategy as well as efficiency.
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What were the 10 biggest stories about the legal profession in 2013, according to readers of Above the Law?
An AMAZING response to a cease and desist letter. You must read this.
From distinguished to despicable, who should be Above the Law’s Lawyer of the Year for 2013? Please vote in our poll!
Are the Boston Red Sox facing possible litigation over their World Series beards?
Biglaw firm writes a cease and desist letter, and gets a thorough, snarky smackdown in response.
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* Dewey know which Biglaw firms and ex-partners were sued by the failed firm’s bankruptcy estate? Sadly, they must all be asking, “Howrey going to survive now that Allan Diamond is on the case?” [Am Law Daily]
* You’d probably love to work as an associate on a 9-5 schedule with billable requirements so low you’d get canned anywhere else. There’s just one catch: You’d have a “proportionately lower salary.” [Daily Report]
* “Law professors and law deans are paid too much,” so the ABA is reducing tenure requirements for law school accreditation, which will make it easier for them to be laid off. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]
* The ABA also decided to cut law schools some slack in terms of graduates’ employment data, and it’s likely due to the U.S. News rankings reckoning. Say hello to the 10-months-after graduation jobs statistic. [National Law Journal]
* Following the Windsor ruling, the Social Security Administration is paying claims for married gay couples living in states where same-sex marriage is recognized. As for the rest, better luck next time. [BuzzFeed]
* Would-be senator Cory Booker has taken annual payouts from his former firm, Trenk DiPasquale, since he left. You may remember that firm’s name from the C&D letter seen around the world. [New York Post]
* Author John Grisham was so pissed his books were banned at Guantánamo Bay that he took up the cause of prisoners wrongfully accused, detained for years, and released without apology. [New York Times]
* Almost as if to add insult to injury, Bernie Madoff was allegedly involved in a love triangle with one of his employees who’s about to go to trial. Apparently having dirty money is a desirable trait in a man. [Reuters]
* Amanda Bynes is still in the psych ward on a 5150, and her mother was granted a temporary conservatorship over her cray cray kid’s financial affairs. Way to follow in Britney Spears’s footsteps. [CNN]
* If you thought Stephen Kaplitt’s epic cease-and-desist response was awesome, then you’ll love this work of parody in response to the response, courtesy of New York Law School. [Legal As She Is Spoke]
* Eric Holder comes clean on his involvement with the James Rosen search warrant, and to the chagrin of many, he isn’t plotting the death of journalism. That, or he’s a big liar. You pick. [Volokh Conspiracy]
* George Zimmerman is going to be staring down an all-female jury for the next few weeks in his murder trial. And let me tell you, that’s going to be so much fun when everyone’s cycles start to sync up. [CNN]
* It’s amazing that the Framers’ intentions can be applied to true love. Best wishes to Ilya Shapiro on his new marriage. Professor Josh Blackman is one hell of a wedding speaker. [CATO @ Liberty]
* Is there an appropriate way to deal with cosmetic surgery — like a breast enlargement, breast reduction, or a nose job — in the office? Just be ready for people to talk about you. [Corporette]
* Former Above the Law columnist Jay Shepherd offers up the secret to lawyer happiness in just six minutes, while taking shots at the world’s largest law firm and the world’s shortest movie star. [jayshep]