With finals underway and graduation season upon us, law students are left with only a few things to bitch and moan about: their job/debt situations, their commencement speakers, and maybe how much they have to pay for their regalia. This is a time for law students to celebrate their achievements and be happy, but as we’ve come to learn, America’s future lawyers would rather put a damper on the festivities to rage about one last injustice before their time in school is done.
As we noted previously, soon-to-be law grads have gotten so pissy about their law school’s selection of commencement speaker that they’ve written letters, donned protest buttons, and even organized walkouts.
We’ve heard from several of our readers regarding their schools’ speaker picks, and students from a certain well-ranked law school are REALLY unhappy…
We hate to break it to you, but perpetual bachelor George Clooney is reportedly off the market. We all knew this day would eventually come, but that didn’t stop us from hoping against all hope that it wouldn’t. Clooney’s last love interest was a former professional wrestler, but this time around, he had the good sense to pick a woman who has both beauty and brains. His fiancée is a lawyer, and it’s much harder for us to pray for a marriage measured in Kardashians when you find out about some of her clients and accomplishments.
The lucky lady Clooney popped the question to is the “breathtakingly beautiful and formidably successful” Amal Alamuddin. Let’s find out some more information about her…
At the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion that aired Sunday night, cast member Porsha Williams laid the smackdown on cast member Kenya Moore. At issue was that Moore accused Williams of cheating on her husband, NFL superstar Kordell Stewart.
Moore called 911 from the reunion, though Williams was not arrested on the set. Instead, an arrest warrant issued and Williams voluntarily had herself booked on a misdemeanor assault warrant and was released on $2,000 bail…
* Noah “Kai” Newkirk, the protestor who disrupted Supreme Court arguments in February, was sentenced to time served and barred from the court. Don’t worry, we’ll get you all the SCOTUS clerk news you need, cutie. [Associated Press]
* “There are still a lot of firms out there hoping the good old days are going to return, and are finally coming to the realization that that isn’t going to happen.” More on Biglaw layoffs. [Am Law Daily]
* Yet another law school gets its rating downgraded by Moody’s. As a standalone school with “substantial declines in JD enrollment,” Vermont Law’s outlook is now negative. Sad trombone. [Moody's]
* “Is the Tax Code really 70,000 pages long?” No, not really. We wonder who started the rumor that it was so long, because in reality, it’s only about 2,600 pages long — which is still way, way too long. [Slate]
* It appears that the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree with this celebrity family. Lindsay Lohan’s mother, Dina Lohan, pleaded guilty yesterday to drunken driving and speeding charges in New York. [CNN]
NFL linebacker Aldon Smith was arrested at LAX after reportedly telling TSA officials screening him that he had a bomb. He apparently said it in frustration as they put him through a separate screening. Yelling bomb in an airport, though, is a big no no, and he has been slapped with charges for making a bomb threat…
* Gibson Dunn released the records for all interviews it conducted in order to clear Gov. Christie’s name in the Bridgegate scandal. They all said he was too busy working out to know. [New Jersey Star-Ledger]
* “You understand that you can’t have two defenses?” The prosecution is accusing Oscar Pistorius of changing his testimony mid-trial, and it seems at this point he’s got no leg to stand on. [Bloomberg]
* If you’re still thinking about going to law school, you should probably brush up on the logical reasoning section of the LSAT… because you’re not very good at it now. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]
* If you feel like stepping out on your spouse, you might consider moving to New Hampshire. The state is about to repeal its adultery law which makes the act of cheating a Class B misdemeanor. [Post-Standard]
Is anyone tired of Chris Brown yet? I was tired of him months ago, then I got a second wind and am still interested in watching him crash.
Yesterday, the trial court heard a motion to dismiss by Brown’s attorney, Mark Geragos. The motion contended that the prosecutors abused the grand jury process by using it as an opportunity to test their case. Denying the motion, Judge Patricia Wynn said there is no problem with prosecutors testing their case in seeking an indictment before the grand jury.
Brown was not present at the hearing, having taken the world’s slowest flight to D.C. via the U.S. Marshals Service (five days in total). The court did grant a motion to sever Brown’s bodyguard’s trial from Brown’s trial — which was helpful to the defense, so that the bodyguard can testify for Brown in Brown’s trial…
* The Eighth Circuit axed a $900K jury award after a lawyer recounted her tale of sexual harassment by a law professor at Drake University Law during closing arguments. Well, that sucks, but we’d really love to know which professor this was. [ABA Journal]
* If flat is the new up, then mergers must be the new growth. The new year is upon us, and law firms are on track to either meet or break the merger record set in 2013. Thus far, 22 firms have announced mergers or acquisitions in 2014. [Washington Post]
* A lawyer in Minnesota who’s been in trouble with the bar quite a few times was recently charged with setting his girlfriend on fire. Yikes, someone’s way too excited about the Fargo mini-series. [Star-Tribune]
* Oscar Pistorius took the stand in his murder trial yesterday, revealing that when he killed his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, he was really trying to protect her. This case gives us the sads. [New York Times]
* Sorry we’re not sorry about the toupee: Paramount wants this Wolf of Wall Street suit dismissed since it’s undeniable the plaintiff was part of “bizarre travesty that was Stratton Oakmont.” [Hollywood Reporter]
* “Those who support limits see the court right now as the T. rex from ‘Jurassic Park.’” Folks are pretty worried even more campaign finance laws will fall thanks to the Supreme Court’s ruling in the McCutcheon v. FEC case. [New York Times]
* Skadden Arps and Simpson Thacher are at the top of their game when it comes to mergers and acquisitions. Both firms did very well in new deal rankings released by Bloomberg, Mergermarket, and Thomson Reuters. Nice. [Am Law Daily]
* Former Massachusetts senator Scott Brown has reportedly ditched Nixon Peabody to try his hand at a U.S. Senate run in New Hampshire. We hope he doesn’t lose his shirt again. Oh wait… [Boston Globe]
* As it turns out, the book in the Harvard Law library once believed to be bound in human skin is actually bound in sheepskin. Congrats, this is slightly less creepy. [Et Seq. / Harvard Law School Library Blog]
* Celebrity chef Nigella Lawson was turned away from a flight to the U.S. after her admission to coke usage in a trial. She should probably stop sticking her nose in other people’s business. [The Guardian]
* Despite all the outrage over Albany Law’s faculty buyouts, some have already accepted the package offered. Looks like anything’s possible for the right price. [Albany Business Review]
* Guess which law school is cutting tuition by a whole lot? Some hints: it’s in New York and it’s been selling off real estate. We’ll have more on this later. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]
* Perhaps this could be considered a gift of provisional accreditation: Alberto Gonzales, U.S. Attorney General in President George W. Bush’s administration, is now dean at Belmont Law. [The Tennessean]
* Take a look at this new paper by Professors Amy Chua and Jed Rubenfeld on race and culture in law school admissions. Actually, it’s fake, but it’s sad that it could, in theory, be very real. [Washington Post]
* Zac Efron is going to star as a Yale Law grad forced by criminals to work in the world’s largest Biglaw firm in a film adaptation of John Grisham’s book, The Associate. OMG, he’s so cute. [Hollywood Reporter]
* Our thoughts go out to the families of those wounded and killed during the Fort Hood shooting. [AP]
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