* Law firm suffers Viagra hack. If it persists for more than four hours… [Legal Cheek]
* An in-depth and frightening look at “Witness 40″ in the Ferguson Grand Jury proceedings: a bipolar woman with a long history of making racist comments who lived nowhere near Ferguson and testified only after Officer Wilson’s story was revealed — which she parroted back. Bob McCulloch thought this was a stellar witness. Bob McCulloch is also bad at his job. [The Smoking Gun]
* Charleston local government wants InfiLaw out of town. Is there anyone left who wants InfiLaw to take over Charleston? [TaxProf Blog]
* Congratulations to U.S. Attorney Sarah Saldaña on her confirmation as head of ICE. [International Business Times]
* Pet piercing will soon be illegal in New York, so get that dope nose ring for your dog today! [Lowering the Bar]
* Canadian “band” Skinny Puppy demands $660,000 from the U.S. government for using their music as torture material without permission. As a compromise can we just pledge to strap Dick Cheney down and force him to listen to 15 consecutive hours of Skinny Puppy and call it a day? [Gawker]
* Cleveland WR Andrew Hawkins pens a thorough, even-handed takedown of butthurt police union leaders demanding he apologize for taking the stance that police should try not to kill unarmed 12-year-olds. So apparently this is what the Browns are good at. [Talking Points Memo]
* David chats about the backstory behind Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link).
* Huge Net Neutrality development: President Obama believes the FCC should reclassify the Internet as a utility. Will his three appointees listen to him? [Vox]
* Rick Springfield’s butt faces retrial. [Lowering the Bar]
* The ABA Section of Legal Education and Admission to the Bar is recommending the sale of Charleston Law School to InfiLaw. Well, now we should feel secure in knowing this is a great plan. [TaxProf Blog]
* An interview with famed mob lawyer turned mayor, Oscar Goodman. [Coverage Opinions]
* In Alabama, if a jury misbehaves and doesn’t sentence a murderer to the death penalty, the judge has full power to overrule them. Delightful. [The New Yorker]
* A white former prosecutor has to work really, really hard to get himself arrested, along the way exposing just how racially stilted the criminal justice system is. [The Atlantic]
Bar exam results from around the country are beginning to trickle in and the results are far from encouraging. The results from July 2014 were the lowest in recent memory, but many had hoped that the drop would prove to be only an aberration. This does not appear to be the case.
So now the real question is: How much longer will law students continue to stick with the major bar review companies that can’t seem to get them to pass?
* Congratulations (and good luck) to our nation’s new ebola czar — who happens to be a high-profile lawyer. [ATL Redline]
* An update on the Charleston Law/InfiLaw drama. [Post and Courier]
* If they had only taken the pink underwear off the patient before he woke up, he wouldn’t have his panties in a bunch. [Huffington Post]
* Getting people to read law review articles is hard enough; why put them behind a wall? [TaxProf Blog]
* It’s funny that Floridian lawyers are having such a bad reaction to Bad Judge, since the show could actually be reality TV down there. [Daily Business Review (sub. req.)]
* Career advice: if you aspire to the federal judiciary, try to avoid writing blog posts about biting girls in the butt. [Missouri Lawyers Weekly (sub. req.)]
* Congrats to lawyer Lisa Smith on winning the Pitch Week book competition at the When Words Count Retreat! [Street Insider]
InfiLaw suffers its first major setback in the drive to acquire Charleston Law.
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* The Department of Justice won’t be harshing anyone’s mellow in Washington and Colorado just yet, because Eric Holder has more important things to do than to get involved in people’s pot. [CNN]
* The IRS will now treat all legal gay marriages the same as straight marriages for tax purposes, no matter where the couples live. That’s absolutely fabulous! [Federal Eye / Washington Post]
* Howrey going to deal with all of Allan Diamond’s unfinished business claims made as trustee on behalf of this failed firm? By claiming as a united front that “[c]lients are not property,” even if we secretly think they are. [Am Law Daily]
* In this wonderful post-Windsor world, the parents of a deceased Cozen O’Connor attorney are appealing a judge’s ruling as to the dispensation of their daughter’s death benefits to her wife. [Legal Intelligencer]
* Reduce, re-use, and recycle: environmentally friendly words used to reduce a Biglaw firm’s carbon footprint, not the number of its lawyers. Say hello to the Law Firm Sustainability Network. [Daily Report]
* Disability rights groups are coming forward to defend California’s LSAT anti-flagging law because the amount of extra testing time you receive should be between you and your doctor. [National Law Journal]
* If you thought Charleston School of Law was going to be sold to the InfiLaw System, then think again. The law school is up for grabs on Craigslist. Alas, the “[s]tudent body has been used.” [Red Alert Politics]
If you’re interested in purchasing Charleston School of Law, keep reading to see the ad (click to enlarge)…