Cheerleading is a big deal in Texas. It’s the sort of thing that can get you killed if you’re not careful.
So when a bunch of high school cheerleaders started cheering less “Be Aggressive!” and more “Be Not Afraid, the Lord Is With Thee,” it stirred up the usual hornets’ nest of grandstanding atheists and civil libertarians complaining about freedom of religion, and an equal number of grandstanding conservative politicos complaining about the “War on Christians.”
Yesterday, the cheerleaders won their case — at least for now — opening the door to a new batch of inspirational cheers ripped from Christian Mingle ads. After looking at the signs (some pics below), the real issue is not constitutional, but practical: these are just terrible cheers….
Here at Above the Law, we write about career alternatives for attorneys from time to time, but it’s been a while since we last brought our readers an exciting story about extracurricular activities for attorneys. That being the case, here’s a little fun fact for you: many of the female members of this fine profession have, at one point or another in their lives, been on cheerleading squads.
Whether you’re a law student or a Supreme Court justice (yes, RBG once shook her pom-poms on the field), moonlighting as a cheerleader has its perks. What better way to learn how to BE AGGRESSIVE! B-E AGGRESSIVE! B-E A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E! in the courtroom?
Today’s legal cheerleader has an impressive rack résumé: she used to work in Biglaw, she’s now working as an ADA, and most importantly, she moonlights as a cheerleader for the Atlanta Falcons. Wouldn’t you like to have a lovely litigatrix like her on your side?
Let’s take a look at her cheerleading bio and, because this post would be WWOP, some photos of this gorgeous glamazon….
Ex-Bengals cheerleader Sarah Jones still blames TheDirty.com for ruining her reputation.
Sarah Jones — the ex-teacher, ex-Bengals cheerleader, and wannabe law student, who prepared for her job working with high schoolers by watching Van Halen’s “Hot For Teacher” video — had to postpone a $11-million defamation lawsuit filed in 2009 against gossip site The Dirty to face criminal charges for allegedly having sex with a teenage student in her English class.
She pleaded guilty Monday and was sentenced to just five years of probation for making a high school student’s dream of sleeping with his NFL cheerleader teacher come true. She doesn’t even have to register as a sex offender for carrying on a romantic relationship with the then-17-year-old student, which consisted of sex and “voluminous phone calls and [explicit] text messages.” And she left the courtroom with her now 18-year-old “victim,” whose lack of cooperation with the investigation led to her light punishment.
Now that the criminal case is out of the way, her civil case is back on like Donkey Kong. If Donkey Kong were an ephebophile….
Do you remember Sarah Jones, the high school teacher who moonlighted as a Cincinnati Bengals cheerleader and sued gossip websites like TheDirty.com in her spare time?
In case you’ve forgotten, allow us to refresh your recollection: Jones sued for defamation and invasion of privacy over a post entitled “The Dirty Bengals Cheerleader” that alleged she had slept with all the members of the Bengals team and had STDs. In that post, TheDirty.com wanted to know the answer to this question: “Why are high school teachers freaks in the sack?”
Perhaps one of Jones’s former students can answer that question for us, because back in March, she was indicted for having sex with one of them. As we mentioned in Morning Docket, Jones took a plea deal yesterday on the lesser charge of sexual misconduct that will allow her to avoid jail time.
Now that she’s got all of this free time on her hands — she resigned from her teaching and cheerleading jobs in late 2011 after rumors of her sexual escapades with a student began to spread — what will she do?
Well, the next logical next step is obviously law school….
Last year, we made passing mention of Malori Wampler, the ex-Indianapolis Colts cheerleader who had been fired for posing in “risqué” photographs at a Playboy magazine-sponsored party — and by “risqué,” we mean clad only in body paint. For all intents and purposes, Wampler was basically naked. (And don’t worry, dear readers, we’ve got photos, if you’re interested in seeing that sort of thing.)
But rather than simply contesting the team’s decision to fire her (after all, these pictures had been taken before she became an NFL cheerleader, and the team was aware that Wampler had worked at these parties in the past), Wampler decided to sue, alleging that the Colts had terminated her because of her sex, race, and national origin. Wampler wasn’t fired because she had violated the team’s rule against cheerleaders appearing in nude photos; no, she was fired because she was Indonesian.
Earlier this week, Wampler’s case got some action in federal court. Let’s find out what happened….
This important question was asked of Judge Stefan R. Underhill of Connecticut, when the women’s volleyball team of Quinnipiac University sued in an effort to stop the school from dissolving the team, alleging Title IX violations. Quinnipiac claimed that it made up the loss of the volleyball team with opportunities in other sports, including more than two dozen positions on the school’s cheerleading team.
But much to the chagrin of cheer moms everywhere (yes, that’s a thing, and soon there will even be a reality TV show about them), Judge Underhill ruled that cheerleading is an activity, and not a sport.
But did you think that cheerleaders — and their university funders — would just give up the fight? Think again, because they pledged to fight, fight, fight with all their might, all the way up to the Second Circuit.
* Cozen O’Connor is caught between the parents and lesbian partner of a deceased attorney in a death benefits war. Lawyers’ fees will eat through that profit-sharing plan in no time. [Philadelphia Inquirer]
* Because everything’s bigger in Texas, they’ve got the seventh-largest lawyer surplus in the country. Wrangling a job at the employment rodeo is going to be tough this year. [Texas Lawyer]
* The Betty Ford worker suing Lindsay Lohan for $1M claims she isn’t in it for the money. She just wants to teach LiLo a lesson. I don’t think she needs a lesson in how to write a check. [Radar Online]
* Think you’re getting screwed at your job? Carroll Shelby’s alleged liquor ‘n porn run grope girl definitely has you beat. [Fox News]
We've got spirt! Yes we do! We've got spirt! How about you?
Give me an S! Give me a T! Give me an F! Give me a U! What does that spell? STFU!
Just in case you’re not aware, cheerleading is a pretty big deal in Texas. Everyone wants to be a cheerleader because it has some awesome perks. Cheerleaders get the rare privilege of ruling the school while they parade around spreading “spirt” throughout the halls. Cheerleaders hope and pray that they’ll land a football stud who will be their ticket out of town to work at the downtown dollar store.
And last, but certainly not least, alumnae cheerleader moms get to live vicariously through their daughters. And sometimes when former cheerleader moms don’t get what they want, they’ll — Fight! Fight! Fight with all their might! — sue over it.
Girls in my high school used to call each other names and claim Title IX sexual harassment and retaliation all the time. It was no big deal….
* I might have stopped smoking, but I’ll never stop fighting against Mike Bloomberg’s nanny state laws that seek to turn New York City into a place that doesn’t tempt Mike Bloomberg into doing all the things he used to do. [CNN]
* Justice David Prosser officially won his judicial reelection in Wisconsin. [WSJ Law Blog]
* An ex-Indianapolis Colts cheerleader is suing the team because they fired her for posing in “risqué” photographs. Wait, back up a sec. A woman whose job it is to bounce up and down in a bikini while drunk men watch got fired from that job for being risqué? [Overlawyered]
* A higher-education bubble update, from Professor Glenn Reynolds: “if you’re paying full tuition, you’re basically a sucker.” [Instapundit]
* Hmm, I wonder which state will want all of the business that flees Tennessee if the governor signs a new anti-gay bill into law? I expect that most states only care about what people put in their bank account, not where they put it in their bedrooms. [Huffington Post]
* Today’s update on the foreign guy who had sex with that maid and is now in a bunch of trouble. Wait, that sentence wasn’t specific enough…. [ABA Journal]
* Blawg Review fires up one day after world goth day, which itself was one day after fake Rapture day. And we all know that fake Rapture day was just seven months prior to the end of the world. Though if it keeps raining like this, I don’t think we’ll make it that far without some kind of ark technology. [Siouxsie Law via Blawg Review]
When in need of a pic of a T.V. cheerleader, am I right to go with Minka Kelly over Hayden Panettiere? Can we get some kind of ruling on this?
* Is it possible that in South Dakota you have to go through a shorter waiting period to buy a gun and shoot someone who is already alive than you have to go through in order to have an abortion? Could somebody check on that? [MSNBC]
* Did you see this chart showing that law professors make more than all other professors at the college level? I think I forgot to mention it because when my brain sees such horrible atrocities it enacts self-defense protocols and deletes the knowledge from my… Did you see this chart showing that law professors… [Chronicle of Higher Education]
* Same-sex couple gets deportation put on hold to pursue marriage-based immigration case. I think we’re all safer when Homeland Security isn’t run by Leviticus. [Stop the Deportations]
* If cheerleading were a real sport, this lawsuit might be really interesting. [Jezebel]
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The US associate openings we have in law firms are in the usual areas of M&A, cap markets, FCPA / white collar litigation, finance, and project finance. The most urgent of our top tier (top 15 US or magic circle) law firm openings in Asia (among many other firm openings that we have in Asia) are as follows:
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The last time I flapped my wings your way, I tried to make at least enough noise about your mobile phone to make you more than a little bit uncomfortable. I hope I did. If enough of us become anxious enough about the known and unknown unknowns and knowns in our mobile phones, then we can start making wise decisions about how to manage that information and its resultant investigations.
Today, I’d like to put a finer point on the last installment’s topic by asking a question that seemed to catch most attendees off-guard at a conference panel that I moderated last week: is there discoverable personal information in a mobile app? Our panelists’ answer was a uniform “yes” with one stating that, if he had to choose only one type of data that he could discover from a mobile phone, he’d choose app data. Why? Because there’s simply so much of it and because almost all of it is objective – not just user-created like an email – but machine-tracked like GPS, usage duration, log in and log out times, browsed web addresses, browsed actual addresses. Also, most of us seem to have the idea that data doesn’t actually “stick” to our mobile devices the way it “sticks” to our hard drives. Maybe there’s a disconnect based on the fact that our phones are mobile so we assume the data is mobile to?
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