Chicago Bears

* This is the place where we pretend to be shocked that Chris Christie abused his power. [New York Times]

* Remember the Super Bowl Shuffle? Now there’s a lawsuit over it. Proving even terrible art can give rise to litigation. [Business Wire]

* Miami criminal defense attorney Michael Grieco thought he was representing Justin Bieber and let all the media outlets know it. Well, he’s not. [South Florida Lawyers]

* Listen up, law review editors! This is how you avoid making authors angry. [Nancy Rapoport's Blog]

* John Yoo for Dean of Boalt Hall? OK, maybe not, but here are the finalists for the position. [Nuts & Boalts]

* California is eyeing a referendum to allow affirmative action considerations to be employed in college admissions for the first time in almost 20 years. Surely the same people who passed Prop 8 will be enlightened enough to do something proactive about systemic discrimination. [Chronicle of Higher Education]

* The art of negotiation and terrible cigars. [Katz Justice]

* And I joined Mike Sacks and Jessica Mederson on Legalese It! today. So check out our rousing discussion of the State of the Union v. Supreme Court, Foxy Knoxy’s extradition fears, and California’s decision to keep disgraced journalist Stephen Glass out of the legal profession. Video below… [HuffPost Live]

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* After winning his first NFL game this weekend, it’s worth looking back at this profile of Chicago Bears coach Marc Trestman, who started his coaching career as a University of Miami law student. [Chicago Sun-Times]

* Here’s all of law school in one syllabus. The third year of law school may be useless, but this is probably too short for a decent legal education. [Postgrad Problems]

* The solution to the law school business model should include reaching out to provide basic legal instruction for those not seeking a J.D. But how does this jibe with the argument that the only way to understand the law is to spend three years in school? [Chronicle of Higher Education]

* In fairness to George Zimmerman, his wife was wearing a hoodie… [CNN]

* Director of National Intelligence James Clapper is looking for a new attorney for the office. It’s a pretty sweet government job because you don’t have to submit to a background check — they already know everything you have to hide. [Constitutional Daily]

* The tax collection system in D.C. is taking nominal shortfalls, charging the homeowners astronomical lawyer fees, and then foreclosing on their houses. Check out how much Aeon Financial tried to charge… [Washington Post]

* Australia banned an ad featuring young, naked women not because they were young and naked, but because they weren’t smiling. This makes sense, because if you’re going to be a hyper-sexualized prop in a campaign to hawk consumer products, you’d better be happy about it. [BuzzFeed]

* Caron Washington, D.C., a comprehensive addiction treatment center, will present the D.C. Bar’s Lawyer Assistance Program with the Caron Employee Assistance Excellence Award at the Caron Recovery for Life Gala on October 8th, 2013 at the National Museum of Women in the Arts. The Lawyer Assistance Program is a free, voluntary, and confidential program for lawyers, law students, and judges who are suffering from addiction, depression, anxiety, or stress. You can purchase tickets or make a contribution at the link. [Caron]

* On October 17-18, IT-Lex is hosting a conference covering the intersection of law and technology. Attendees include the Chief Privacy Officer of the Federal Trade Commission, a Special Agent from the FBI’s Cyber Intrusion Squad, Judge John M. Facciola, the Honorable Nan R. Nolan, and Ken Withers. And the event is in Orlando so you can double up with a trip to Disneyworld over the weekend! Sign up at the link. [IT-Lex]

In honor of last night’s first round of the NFL Draft, I decided to scrap my usual routine this week. That routine consists of combing the internets for sports stories that ever-so-slightly touch on legal matters and bringing those stories to you with a healthy dose of deranged non sequiturs. This column rarely makes sense and when it inexplicably does, it may be even more unreadable. No matter, as last night’s auction of human beings gave me an idea that, I hope, will really knock your socks off your now-naked feet.

Because football players are largely detestable human beings, I thought it would be interesting to take a stroll through the last twenty years of NFL drafts to recount the first round draft picks who have had scrapes with the law. From felonies to misdemeanors to a sidebar on the bizarre physical specimen that was Mark McGwire’s brother, herewith is the Rap Sheet Roll Call of the NFL Draft, Round One. The 31st and 32nd picks do not have a twenty year history and were, thus, omitted.

All facts cited come from the players’ Wikipedia entries, unless otherwise linked. Because I’m not going to the trouble of hyperlinking everything while the NFL Draft is on.

Let’s talk Mel Kiper’s hair and Mark Mayock’s lateral lisp…

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Is wearing this necktie a firing offense?

I saw this story on Mike & Mike this morning, and it’s just been gathering steam all day. A Green Bay Packers fan showed up to his job on Monday at a Chicago area car dealership wearing a Packers tie. As many of you know, the Packers defeated their hated rivals, the Chicago Bears, in the NFC Championship Game on Sunday. The man’s boss asked the Packers fan to remove the tie. He refused. The Packers fan was then fired.

When I first heard about this, my initial thought was “Good, serves him right.” I’m not a Bears fan. And I often wear my own sports paraphernalia into the ATL office. But if your boss tells you to take off your gear, you do it. It’s not a hard question for me. I’ll stand up to my CEO on any number of professional issues, but over some team bling? Are you kidding me? It’s called “picking your battles,” or “not being a idiot,” if you prefer.

Over the course of the day, however, more and more media types have been coming to the defense John Stone, the Packers fan who was fired. Some are even saying that this will lead to a wrongful termination lawsuit.

You know how I hate telling the MSM that their cute little puppies are going to die, but does rooting for the Packers make you a member of a protected class now?

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