Cleary Gottlieb

Meet a former Biglaw associate who can help you turn over a new leaf.

* The lawyer who shot himself in the back and lied about it has pleaded guilty since his defense was full of self-inflicted holes. [WBIW] * Do you want to be a partner? These 12 simple rules are a good start. (Not featured: Rule 13. Have incriminating pictures of the other partners.) [At Counsel Table] * The University of Vermont and Vermont Law School are considering a joint “3-2″ degree program. So if you’re 18 years old and positive you want to grow up to be a lawyer, you may soon have a lower cost option. You’re also probably a tool. [AP via Boston.com] * Can introverts be solo practitioners? It’s an interesting question, but since Growth is Dead (affiliate link) notes that even rainmakers are tragically lacking in sociability, it’s likely that most lawyers across firms are introverted. [Lawpolis] * St. Louis University Law School has taken over and refurbished an old building in downtown St. Louis. See, it’s possible to run a law school without spending money on MOAR BUILDINGS! [Urban Review STL] * A poem about CLE. Wait, are there people not doing their CLE online? [Poetic Justice] * How to pick a good divorce lawyer. Done. [Huffington Post] * Matthew Martens, the senior SEC attorney who ran the “Fabulous Fab” trial, is leaving the agency. Possible landing spots for Martens include Kirkland & Ellis; Paul Weiss; WilmerHale; Latham & Watkins; and Cleary Gottlieb. [Wealth Management] * A judge in Kentucky moonlights as the PA announcer for high school football games. He’s also blind. Eschewing the obvious “he still sees better than the refs” joke, my question is why isn’t it just more efficient to make his spotter the PA announcer? Video after the jump…

* Even at the top of the in-house food chain, women lawyers are still paid less than their male counterparts. But hey, at least they’re not being forced to cry poverty like their in-house staff attorney brethren. [Corporate Counsel]

* Neil Barofsky, the former King of TARP in the United States, is making the move to Jenner & Block, specifically because as opposed to all other firms, “Jenner took the side of really getting to the truth of the matter.” [Reuters]

* Luxury fashion is fun: four Biglaw firms, including Cleary Gottlieb, Cravath, Torys, and Proskauer Rose, all took Tim Gunn’s mantra to heart to make it work for the $6 billion sale of Neiman Marcus. [Am Law Daily (sub. req.)]

* If you want to try some lawyer, we hear that they taste great when poached this time of year. Speaking of which, Troutman Sanders just reeled in three attorneys from Hunton & Williams. [Richmond BizSense]

* Law schools in the Dakotas are renovating their buildings in the hope of enrolling more students. Luckily, South Dakota has that sweet indentured servitude plan. [Prairie Business; National Law Journal (sub. req.)]

* If you’re thinking of applying to law school, here’s a plan of attack for the month of September. That’s right, friends, you can start gunning right now! [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* Are you ready for some tax law?! The NFL and other professional sports leagues might lose their nonprofit status if new tax reform legislation makes it through the House and the Senate. [Businessweek]

A terminated employee rose from the cyber-grave to haunt the living -- before he was electronically exorcised by the powers-that-be.

* Judges on the Third Circuit bench must really ♥ boobies. Breast cancer awareness bracelets can’t be banned by public schools if they aren’t lewd and if they comment on social issues. [Legal Intelligencer]

* A bevy of Biglaw firms were involved as advisers in the sale of the Boston Globe, Newsweek, and the Washington Post, including Cleary Gottlieb, Cravath, and Morgan Lewis, among others. [Am Law Daily]

* After surviving a motion for disqualification, Quinn Emanuel will continue to represent Snapchat. A short video of John Quinn laughing his ass off will be available for the next 10 seconds. [TechCrunch]

* Alex Rodriguez, the only MLB player who will be appealing his drug-related suspension, has hired Reed Smith and Gordon & Rees to hit it out of the park during arbitration proceedings. [Am Law Daily]

* Don’t say we never did you any favors: Here are the top 5 mistakes new in-house counsel make from the perspective of outside counsel. Take a look before you make them yourselves. [Texas Lawyer]

* We saw this coming back in June (seventh item), but now it’s official. Prenda Law has dissolved after posting six figures in bonds for various ethical sanctions. Next step, bankruptcy? [National Law Journal]

* If you’re interested in applying to a top 14 law school, make sure your stats and your story are both compelling. No one likes a boring law student. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

Which firms demonstrate a true commitment to diversity? Check out the latest rankings from Vault and from Am Law.

There are plenty of media entities measuring firms against one another: revenues (Am Law), “prestige” (Vault), practice area prowess (Chambers), and so on. Which firms are the law student favorites according to the ATL Survey?

Will Weil Gotshal's Biglaw peers follow its lead in laying off attorneys? Take our reader poll.

Bruce MacEwen of Adam Smith Esq. continues his taxonomy of law firms with the capital-markets centric firms.

Which firm did he work at, where does he go to law school, and what was his crime?

Which up-and-coming partner just left Cleary Gottieb? And who else is departing from CGSH?

Who will make the Final Four in the law firm brackets?

Getting out of Biglaw will get you soaked.

Which law firm has the brightest future? After one round of voting, here are the remaining contenders.

It's that time of year again. Vote for the law firm with the brightest future!

Lawyers who “superplease” their clients can expect repeat business. So how do you do it? Anonymous Partner explains.

Earlier this week, Ted Olson and David Boies, along with lawyers from Cleary Gottlieb and Reed Smith, argued an appeal with billions of dollars at stake.

* Dear professors, please try to understand that most people who experience normal, human emotions are more concerned with the future of American law students than they are with whether or not American law schools can survive by bilking the hell out of foreigners. [PrawfsBlawg] * In Canada, they raided somebody’s Super Bowl party to bust up an illegal gambling ring. They never would have done this during the Grey Cup. [CTV News] * Apparently some kind of law something happened on Downton Abbey last night? I missed it, because staring at a dark stadium is literally more interesting than that freaking show. [Law and More] * Thomson Reuters is getting out of the academic book publishing business. If only law professors would do the same thing. [TaxProf Blog] * Is Washington & Lee’s “experiential” curriculum working? [The Volokh Conspiracy] * Just to be clear, torturing people only works in the movies and television. [Politics USA] * Cleary might become an ATL feeder firm. [Legal Cheek] * Here’s an excerpt from a fun interview with David Lat, in which he talks about asking Richard Posner out on a date. [California Lawyer] And there’s video, which you can watch for CLE credit, after the jump…. Lat participated in Legally Speaking, a series of in-depth interviews with prominent lawyers, judges, and academics, co-produced by California Lawyer and UC Hastings College of the Law. You can watch Lat’s interview with Professor Evan Lee via the embed below. You can check out earlier interviews — with luminaries like Justice Stephen Breyer, Professor Alan Dershowitz, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Professor Harold Koh, Professor Larry Lessig, and novelist Scott Turow — over here. California CLE credit is available for watching each video.

ATL has a new assistant editor reporting for duty. He's our new Kreiger.

What do the incoming partner classes at ten leading law firms reveal about the state of Biglaw?