* Authorities have cleared the robot built specifically to buy illegal stuff off the dark web. In related news, officer, all that panda meat was bought by my robot… for an art project. [Hopes and Fears]
* Laurence Tribe’s arguments are getting closer and closer to Homer Simpson’s. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]
* In case you weren’t counting, there’ve been 95 Senate roll call votes while Loretta Lynch has been waiting… [People For The American Way]
* Lawyer suspended for handing out ecstasy to drug women into sex. I don’t disagree with the outcome, but there’s one pretty troubling aspect of the opinion: “The OLR noted… that his victim was much younger.” She was 22! At a certain point can we just admit women are adults? Focus on the drugging predatory behavior instead of constructing her as an addled-brained ingenue. [Legal Profession Blog]
* Daredevil’s courtroom antics evaluated by New York Judge Matthew Sciarrino. [The Legal Geeks]
* If you’re interested in the legal landscape of marijuana, here’s a cool infographic summing up where we are and how we got here. [Diego Criminal Defense]
* If you’re interested in February bar exam results from across the country, Bar Exam Stats is keeping a running tally complete with a nice map. [Bar Exam Stats]
What if a firm designed its swag to segregate lawyers by rank? Because that’s what one Biglaw behemoth is doing.
Bar exam results from around the country are beginning to trickle in and the results are far from encouraging. The results from July 2014 were the lowest in recent memory, but many had hoped that the drop would prove to be only an aberration. This does not appear to be the case.
So now the real question is: How much longer will law students continue to stick with the major bar review companies that can’t seem to get them to pass?
* The Supreme Court is going to strike down bans on marriage equality folks. And the tea leaves aren’t that hard to read. [Slate]
* Even if the Court proclaims marriage equality the law of the land, discrimination will march on. On that note, can American law schools like Liberty continue to follow Canada’s controversial Trinity Western in functionally barring homosexuality? [Tax Prof Blog]
* Law students f**king love Atticus Finch. Um, you know he lost right? Start looking up to winners, like Dan Fielding or something. [Slate]
* Who else is jumping from the hulk that was once Patton Boggs? [Legal Times (sub. req.)]
* Our old friend George Mason Assistant Dean Richard Kelsey, who we last saw Tweeting about black people and the lack of reason, is back explaining that abortion is genocide… because it leads to immigrants coming to America. Or something. [CNS News]
* Meanwhile, there’s a new casebook out covering reproductive rights law that challenges the conventional classification of the subject as a subset of women’s issues. [RH Reality Check]
* Harvard Law 3L, soon-to-be Clifford Chance associate, rapper. [J.KO]
Which law firms will take the lead on promoting diversity in the legal profession?
What is this fellow’s name, and which law firm does he work for?
It looks like Davis Polk’s higher bonus scale will carry the day in Biglaw.
Did you hear that sound? Listen carefully. What is that row? It’s the sound of alternative legal providers’ footfalls, gaining on you.
We at Kinney are running the search for a fantastic in-house opening in Singapore, at the leading and largest tech company in Southeast Asia. The spot will be filled by a US associate with at least three years experience in M&A, from a top Wall Street or equivalent US firm. Compensation will be competitive with what the new hire is earning at their top tier law firm.
Did this firm forget that money is the best motivator of all?
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What were the 10 biggest stories about the legal profession in 2013, according to readers of Above the Law?
Every time an associate says, “I don’t believe in higher bonuses,” there’s a would-be Boies-level bonus someplace that falls down dead.
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Ed. note: We’ll return to our normal publication schedule on Monday, December 2. We hope to see you at our holiday happy hour on Thursday, December 5 — for details and to RSVP (to this free event with an open bar), click here.
* Even in a post-nuclear world, Republicans can still block certain judicial nominees. [New York Times]
* A prominent Toronto lawyer has gone missing — and so, allegedly, has $3 million in client trust funds. [Toronto Star]
* Dewey see legal fees in the future for Stephen DiCarmine and Joel Sanders? Well, a $37 million lawsuit won’t dismiss itself. [Law360 (sub. req.)]
* Congratulations to Matthew Layton, the new managing partner of Clifford Chance. [The Lawyer]
* And congratulations to Ralph Pellecchio and Jim Wernz, who were married by none other than Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg — who even helped them write their vows. [Talking Points Memo]
* Sure, let’s have the whole “is now a good time to go to law school?” debate again. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Especially if you’re a minority, since white people are losing interest in law school. [Am Law Daily]
* Congress can’t even get its act together about real guns, so perhaps it’s no surprise that limits on fake guns are set to expire soon. [New York Times]
* Harry Potter was convicted of obstruction of justice. Just because you’re a wizard doesn’t mean you’re above the law. [Daily Utah Chronicle]
Allen & Overy, Biglaw, Contract Attorneys, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Document Review, Law Professors, Law School Deans, Law Schools, LSAT, Magic Circle, Morning Docket, Sex, Sex Scandals, Technology, United Kingdom / Great Britain
* The Magic Circle isn’t very magical across the pond in New York City. Four out of five firms from the U.K. — Allen & Overy, Clifford Chance, Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer, and Linklaters — have yet to pull rabbits out of their
* Chief Judge Philip P. Simon of the Northern District of Indiana has ruled that being a federal judge is better than being an equine semen collector. Agreed. [The Kentucky Trial Court Review]
* The Supreme Court lets tradition trump technology. Because if the Founders wanted cameras in the courtroom they would have written it into the Constitution. [Washington Post]
* NBC is developing a TV show based on Shon Hopwood’s memoir Law Man (affiliate link). Could NBC have a watchable drama? [Variety]
* Congress keeps telling us the D.C. Circuit is not overworked. They’re wrong. [People for the American Way]
* A poem about the lawyer as shark. Wasn’t this a whole TV show once? [Poetic Justice]
* Legal education needs to adapt to reflect the fact that 50 percent of law students don’t intend to use their law degrees to work in traditional legal fields. In other words, legal education needs to adapt to people too stupid to figure out the only jobs that require a law degree are those in traditional legal fields. [New York Law Journal]
* Harvard is hosting an event on the “business of college sports.” You can learn all about the business of college sports from this video right here. [Sports Agent Blog]
* The judge who forced a family to change their baby’s name from “Messiah” is getting disciplined. [The Volokh Conspiracy]
* Flash mobs are disturbing enough without being composed entirely of lawyers. [Daily Report Online]
* Elie and Staci appeared on CNBC’s Power Lunch today to discuss the Orrick and Pillsbury merger talks and the Clifford Chance memo. Video embedded after the jump… [CNBC]