Commencement

* Nurkhan Zhumabekov, a lawyer in Kazakhstan, is suing the Russian-Kazakh television channel First Channel-Eurasia for allegedly “insulting Kazakhs.” Nobody tell this guy about Borat, OK? [Radio Free Europe]

* The too perfect name of the litigants in Loving v. Virginia is finally getting its due. Loving, a new film about the case that legalized interracial marriage, looks primed to garner some Oscar buzz. [Hollywood Reporter]

* Illinois Law graduates were a no-show at graduation; Jane Genova wonders why. [Law and More]

* Poorly written laws and regulations are part of why the Supreme Court has to get involved in the immigration case of U.S. v. Texas, as Laura Murray-Tjan explains. [Huffington Post]

* Is there a way to save access to personal email accounts at work without compromising a law firm’s security? [Authentic8]

* Laverne Cox has been cast in CBS’s new legal drama, Doubt, along with Katherine Heigl and Steven Pasquale. [Jezebel]

* Radiohead isn’t being a “Paranoid Android,” they may be getting sued. [Radio.com]

* Dig if you will the picture, of you and I engaged in a… probate battle? Uh-oh! In documents filed in a Carver County, Minnesota, probate court, Prince’s sister, Tyka Nelson, claims that the music icon — whose estate is said to have been valued at about $300 million — died without a will. [USA Today]

* “[L]ook, if he’s not our nominee, I think he would be a great replacement for Scalia.” Despite the fact that Senator Ted Cruz previously insisted that he wasn’t interested in being nominated to replace the late Antonin Scalia as a SCOTUS justice, House Majority Whip Steve Scalise (R-La.) thinks Cruz is the man for the job. [The Hill]

* Dentons says $2 million was “erroneously allocated” to McKenna Long & Aldridge partners during a merger with Luce Forward, and now the Biglaw behemoth really wants the money back. Partner’s aren’t pleased, griping that “this is a cautionary tale for anyone thinking of merging with Dentons.” [National Law Journal via Big Law Business]

* Today is sentencing day for former House Speaker Dennis Hastert. The accused child abuser faces up to five years in prison for attempting to cover up his hush-money payoffs, but prosecutors have asked that he serve no more than six months. We wonder how his Biglaw supporters will feel if he receives a stiff sentence. [Chicago Sun-Times]

* Indiana Tech Law School will soon hold a commencement ceremony for its inaugural graduating class of 21 students. These soon-to-be law school graduates say that one of the main reasons they chose to attend the school was its low cost of tuition. Not having a lot of debt is a great thing when your job prospects are uncertain. Congrats! [21Alive]

* You may think that your law school graduation speaker is cool, but you should think again, because your law school graduation speaker probably isn’t Vice President Joe Biden. This spring, the Veep will be delivering the commencement address at Syracuse Law, his alma mater. [Syracuse.com]

* Bill Mateja, one of Polsinell’s finest white-collar criminal defense attorneys, will be representing Texas AG Ken Paxton in his latest foray into the wrong side of the justice system. How do we know Bill Mateja is good at getting his clients off? “Unlike many attorneys, Bill Mateja does not expect repeat business.” [Big Law Business]

* The Supreme Court may be behind the times when it comes to technology (cellphones are typically banned inside the courtroom’s walls), but the justices will allow a group of about a dozen deaf and hard-of-hearing lawyers to use them to see a live transcript during their swearing-in ceremony next week. Congratulations to all! [ABC News]

* FBI Director James Comey acknowledges similarities between arguments made in the gun-control debate and Apple’s quest to maintain privacy through encryption, but says “[w]e can’t resolve these really important issues that affect our values — technology, innovation, safety and all kinds of other things — in litigation.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* “There’s a plaintiff who’s sure, his tunes could’ve made gold, and he’s buying a lawsuit in C.D. Cal.” Ever seen a cause of action for the falsification of rock n’ roll history? It’s taken about 40 years to happen, but now Led Zeppelin is going to trial over a copyright claim to its hit song “Stairway to Heaven.” [THR, Esq. / The Hollywood Reporter]

Staci Zaretsky is an editor at Above the Law. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments. Follow her on Twitter or connect with her on LinkedIn.

* Jose Baez of Casey Anthony trial fame gave the commencement address at Valparaiso Law this weekend and let graduates know that they, too, can be attorneys, even if they’ve been financially irresponsible. They’re letting this man teach at Harvard Law now. [The Times]

* Suffolk Law and Cardozo Law will have new deans this summer, and both are planning for smaller classes. Considering Suffolk’s plummeting LSAT scores (and standards?), its new dean may have bigger problems to deal with than filling seats. [National Law Journal]

* He “Pressure Drop[ped]” the ball: If you could take the LSAT or open for the Rolling Stones with Toots and the Maytals, which would you pick? This Paul Hastings partner took the test, and says it’s his only regret about choosing law over music. [Am Law Daily]

* Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev may have been sentenced to death last week, but it’s highly unlikely that his punishment will be carried out any time soon, if at all. Instead, he’ll be putting his lawyers to work for time ad infinitum. [WSJ Law Blog]

* “[D]on’t let anyone say that Charleston School of Law was already in trouble.” A local attorney says that this soon-to-fail law school only started circling the drain after its proposed sale to InfiLaw was announced. That’s quite the indictment. [Post and Courier]

* We mentioned earlier this week that Charleston School of Law may suspend enrollment of first-year students next year. Perhaps the law school’s ultimate failure wouldn’t be a bad deal for students — a closed school loan discharge would actually be a blessing for them. [WSJ Law Blog]

* With law school graduation right around the corner, you can kiss your dreams of a Supreme Court justice delivering your commencement speech goodbye. Thus far, not a single SCOTUS jurist will deliver remarks at a 2015 ceremony. [National Law Journal]

* Per the latest report from Citi Private Bank’s Law Firm Group, law firm expenses outpaced revenue in the first quarter of 2015. Some of the biggest expenses are salaries, so maybe this is another reason why some firms are resorting to layoffs. [Am Law Daily]

* They should’ve just watched The Wire? Under Attorney General Loretta Lynch’s leadership, the Department of Justice is going to launch an investigation into whether the Baltimore Police Department has been involved in any discriminatory police work. [NPR]

* If you’re still trying to decide which law school to attend, you may want to consider one that has robust practicum offerings. Being “practice ready” after graduation supposedly does wonders for your job prospects. (Just kidding.) [U.S. News & World Report]

* Barnes & Thornburg’s managing partner is planning to step down after almost two decades in the firm’s top leadership role. His tenure ends on a high note: 2013′s gross revenue was up by 12% and PPP was up by 8.2%. [Am Law Daily]

* “To terminate Jones Day at that point is an incredibly bad idea. I hope the mayor hears me.” Judge Steven Rhodes politely called Detroit’s mayor a moron after the city official declared he’d fire Jones Day in September. [Detroit Free Press]

* “When you’re giving anything to a judge, you try to be careful about it.” In 2012, law schools paid federal judges almost $2M to teach and lecture. A useful way to spend tuition dollars? [National Law Journal]

* San Diego Law School, a branch of San Francisco Law School, is open for business. It’s being marketed as a “fresh start” — if you failed out at another law school, come join the party here! [Daily Transcript]

* If you weren’t aware, Mindy Kaling gave a commencement speech at Harvard Law this week. She praised the graduates’ dedication to tedium, and kindly reminded some that they were evil. [Boston.com]