* Being a mass murderer wouldn’t be any fun if you couldn’t play video games. Also, let’s Upworthy this: Elie tells a story about himself dancing naked… you won’t believe what happens next. [ATL Redline]
* Ted Wells of Paul Weiss finally got off his duff and issued his report on the harassment situation in the Miami Dolphins locker room. [Deadspin]
* ♫Rubber Duckie, you’re the one, you make state legislative sessions drafting complicated statutes allowing gambling on racing you so much fun!♫ [Lowering the Bar]
* From the “dick moves” file, this guy put up a Craigslist ad pimping out his neighbor without her knowledge or consent. From the f**king idiot files, this guy had no idea how easy it would be for the authorities to track him down. [IT-Lex]
* Is the aggressive lateral partner recruitment strategy bringing results? [Adam Smith, Esq.]
* The Virginia decision legalizing gay marriage made one slight misstatement. “Our Constitution declares that ‘all men’ are created equal.” Really? Does it now? [Josh Blackman's Blog; WSJ Law Blog]
* Intelligence Squared held a debate last night between Pentagon Papers whistleblower Daniel Ellsberg and the ACLU’s Ben Wizner against former prosecutor (not Weekend at Bernie’s star) Andrew McCarthy and former CIA Director R. James Woolsey on the question: Snowden Was Justified. The video is embedded after the jump…. [Intelligence Squared]
* A lawyer who sold 2200 pounds of marijuana can’t practice in Minnesota any more. That’s a metric tonne, by the way. Jeez, now I sound like Thomas Corwin Mendenhall. [Minneapolis Star-Tribune]
* If you can use Craigslist to commit crime, you can use it to solve crime. Awesome. Now, if you can use Craigslist to spark a race to the bottom in legal wages, can you use it to reverse that trend. No. [Legal Juice]
* And if you think it’s tough for young lawyers to find a job here, then was a U.K. firm really asking prospective lawyers to invest money in the firm in exchange for a job? [Legal Cheek]
* McGruff the Crime Dog wanted to take a bite out of crime… with a grenade launcher. [CBS Houston]
* How to keep yourself productive. I’m very intrigued by this browser add-on she mentions… [Corporette]
* This may come as a shock, but Glenn Greenwald is troubled by the Obama administration’s legal justification for killing American citizens overseas via drone. [The Guardian]
* The Careerist’s Vivia Chen interviewed David during LegalTech. You can watch it at this link. [Law Technology News]
* Did you see The Daily Show take on a recent trend in election law? Professor Rick Hasen did. And the video is embedded below… [Election Law Blog]
I really hope this Craigslist post can be filed under “ridiculous hyperbole” as opposed to “true story.”
A person has placed an ad on the Los Angeles Craigslist board with the subject line: “I will literally kill myself if I don’t have a job by New Year’s.” The lawyer then goes on to explain his professional experience and to express his willingness to do anything that carries with it a salary or hourly wage.
I’m not at all sure that threatening extreme action is the best way to secure a position as a trusted advisor capable of exercising discretion under pressure. And I think that history has shown that things like hunger strikes are more effective at engendering sympathy than straight-up threats of self-martyrdom.
But it is a tough market out there, and I suppose this is one way to get at least a few employers to give you a second look….
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked.
Howl expresses the rage of a lost generation struggling against a conformist and materialistic culture that drives its rejects to poverty, drugs, mental breakdown, and whatever mental condition leads someone to believe that “Baltimore gleamed in supernatural ecstasy.”
Craigslist provides us with a screed that resembles a latter-day Howl for attorneys. A free-form scream to the heavens — fittingly recast as the Internet — for an escape from the landscape of joblessness and debt that dominate the existence of young lawyers. A haunting vision into the soul of a lawyer who has crossed the mental breaking point and, in the author’s words, “given up hope.” A chilling account of the unemployed attorney as beggar asking not just for money, but masochistic abuse from others just to regain dignity.
Mostly it’s a rant that cuts through all the B.S. of every other job posting on Craigslist….
* Judge Victor Marrero orders MF Global to pay over $1 billion to customers. Serves those MFs right. [CNBC]
* The Second Circuit has punted on the question of whether defunct firms in New York have an ownership right to fees earned by former partners who took work to new firms. [Am Law Daily]
* Howard Morris, the former co-chief executive of SNR Denton, is joining MoFo as the head of the bankruptcy and restructuring group in London. [DealBook / New York Times]
* NBC has a new show about a criminal court judge who is a hard-living, sexually unapologetic woman. So basically a documentary about Justice O’Connor’s early years. [Deadline]
* So Detroit might be the worst place to work. Even with that caveat, it’s hard to believe this ad seeking someone to do, “whatever other crazy type stuff this (bastard) lawyer of ours thinks up.” A screenshot is provided after the jump in case the ad comes down…. [Craigslist]
Are you a “recent law school grad” trying to find a gig more exciting than reviewing documents? Are you the adventurous sort willing to take a risk, pick up and move across the world, on the risk of a big score?
This new job listing promises just such a big score if you’re willing to move to Ukraine for an undefined period. It can’t be any worse than a warehouse of contract attorneys. What task could possibly require a green American lawyer in Ukraine?
And just how dangerous must this job be if it’s a “multi-million dollar opportunity” for the lawyer?
The job market for new attorneys is bad, but you already know that. People are struggling to find any paying legal work of any kind, even as they hope that one day the investment they’ve made in law school will pay off. And you already know that.
Employers know that. Employers know that you are desperate and sad, and they’re happy to take advantage of that. But there’s an employer posting on Craigslist who wants to hire you, even though they know you’re going to spend a lot of your time there crying in your office.
I think this is a hoax. Or maybe I just hope this is a hoax. Maybe I need to believe that there aren’t real law students out there posting on Craigslist looking for girls who want to have sex with them, quickly, in the time between one class and another.
I also instinctively believe that Craigslist posts from law students who reference the length of circumference of their penises aren’t real. Basically, Brian Zulberti is a goddamn unicorn to me. I don’t believe he exists.
During an appearance on Inside the Actor’s Studio, Tom Hanks was asked what profession he would not like to try. His answer: “A lawyer. That’s doing homework for a living.” I still think that’s the most accurate one-sentence description of the practice of law. Being a lawyer isn’t about soaring rhetoric or intellectual polemics. It’s about organization and attention to detail. It’s about paperwork, really high-level paperwork and research.
If you don’t like doing homework, you’re not going to like going to law school or practicing law. Certainly, if you don’t like doing your own paperwork, you’re going to hate doing it for somebody else. So when tipsters alerted us to this guy from Craigslist who is trying to hire someone to help him with the boring paperwork of applying to law school, I just wonder which episode of Suits made him think that he’d make a good lawyer….
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