THINGS I KNOW: Your name is Katherine
(or Catherine). You are a lawyer. You live in my building,
on either the 9th or 11th floor. We have talked only once,
but have been in the elevator
together 2 times
THINGS I DO NOT KNOW: How I
can get to know you
A couple of days ago, we mentioned that Thomas Jefferson Law School had been sued, again. The school is already facing heat for its allegedly misleading employment statistics, and now it has also been caught up in sexual harassment litigation.
Officials at Thomas Jefferson furnished us with a response to the allegations that a school official sexually harassed an employee and his wife.
But that’s not the only law school litigation news we have today. Actually, we’ve come across a Craiglist ad looking for plaintiffs for a possible lawsuit against another school with “Thomas” in its name…
Personally, I take a Quinn Emanuel approach to my sartorial choices. I try to not be overly concerned with one’s superficial appearance, and that starts at home.
But I’ve come to learn that people who spend a lot of time with their face up their own ass in front of a mirror are also deeply concerned with how other people look. Whatever, some people care about the character of a man, others care about the starch in his collar.
And if you want this job in Philadelphia, you better be in the latter category…
Having known many, many lawyers over the years, it seems clear to me that the typical overworked lawyer spends most non-working moments daydreaming of one of two things: an exit strategy and meeting another attractive human being. The demanding hours of the legal profession can make it difficult to meet a potential mate. After too many long hours at a desk without any real social interaction (trolling the ATL comments doesn’t count), even the dorky associate down the hall in the tax department can start to seem attractive. I’ve heard far too many stories from fellow associates about how sleep deprivation and loneliness can lead to some pretty bad decisions.
One New York lawyer has decided to get more creative in his quest to spend some actual face-to-face time with a real live attractive woman. This attorney, we’ll call him “Mr. Model,” has turned to Craigslist — and not the Casual Encounters section — in search of a smokin’ hottie….
It’s a dilemma that women have faced for a long time: some of them need to work and take care of their children at the same time. During the recession, the problems for working mothers have been exacerbated. There are fewer jobs, but day care is just as expensive as ever. What are you supposed to do when caught in that bind?
On Craigslist, there’s an attorney trying to find work — which is difficult enough in this economy. But she’s carrying extra baggage: she’s got a one-year-old baby that she says she needs to bring into the office with her every day. She claims she was able to bring the baby into work at her previous office, without a problem. And if there are firms that provide on-site day care, it obviously wouldn’t be a problem.
But if a firm doesn’t have those facilities (either because it is too small or because it decided not to care about such things), then would the firm even give this woman a shot? I mean, we’re talking about a one-year-old, germ-infested, bundle of bawling, in a legal office. Does anybody want a piece of that?
Whenever it feels like things are getting better in the legal economy, Craigslist shows up to remind everybody just how crappy things still are. If you want to know why there is a higher education bubble (and there is a higher education bubble), you need only look at the kind of pathetic salaries offered to people with years of higher education.
Now, if you were exploring the Above the Law jobs board, you wouldn’t be peppered with offers like the ones we’re seeing on Craigslist. But we can’t beat Craigslist for comedic value.
After the jump, check out two “jobs,” which you need years of expensive education and experience to even be in the running for…
Prima donna, first lady on the stage, but don't you dare, apply or stare, at this law firm.
Do you need a job? Are you willing to work for a pompous jackass? Well, Craigslist (where else?) might have a job for you.
And if you are a lawyer in Austin, you might need a job. The Austin Business Journal reports that one of the city’s most prominent law firms, Clark Thomas & Winters, could be shutting down. They employ 160 people, so there could be some talent hitting the street in Austin.
The newly founded Bargas Law Firm is looking for talent. And even though they’re running around on Craigslist acting like they are God’s gift to junior attorneys, there could be some Texans out there desperate enough to throw in an application…
If you can't do this, there's no point in getting a J.D.
Well, I think we are officially at the point in the legal economy where servicing law school debts is just like servicing an expensive drug habit. The parallels between the two are too great to ignore:
Is it something you started because everybody else was doing it?
Is it something you initially thought was a harmless way to kill some time?
Did somebody make wild claims about how “great” it would be for you to try it?
Do you find yourself whoring yourself out in order to make money for it?
In the J.D. context, we usually think of “whoring” as a figurative state. But not for much longer.
We already know that many strippers do what they do in order to get money for their drugs. Now, through the wonders of Craigslist, we’re about to see strippers baring all in order to get money for their educational debts.
Sallie Mae might be just a lending institution now, but she dreams of becoming a madam…
As we approach the BCS National Title game, we expect to hear some strange requests from lawyers who are also fans of either Auburn or Oregon. For instance, last year we saw a cleverly written motion to continue from an Alabama lawyer who wanted to see his team play for the title. I expected to see more of the same this year.
I did not expect an attorney who is devoted to the Oregon Ducks to take things to the next level. But then I saw Ryan Tharp’s Craigslist ad. His plan is to watch the game on Monday and then head to Vegas to celebrate (he’s sure he’ll be celebrating).
And the young lawyer wants to have the “entire” Vegas experience — replete with a drunken wedding, preferably to a belle from the defeated fanbase…
Watch to find out what some of our subscribers received in their May box!
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We currently have a number of active openings for associate roles at US and UK firms in HK / China, Singapore and two new in-house openings. As always, please feel free to reach out to us at email@example.com in order to get details of current openings in Asia, as well as to discuss the Asia markets in general and what we expect for openings later this year. Our Evan Jowers and Robert Kinney will be in Beijing the week of March 25 and Evan Jowers will be in Hong Kong the week of April 1, if you would like to meet them in person.
The US associate openings we have in law firms are in the usual areas of M&A, cap markets, FCPA / white collar litigation, finance, and project finance. The most urgent of our top tier (top 15 US or magic circle) law firm openings in Asia (among many other firm openings that we have in Asia) are as follows:
• 2nd to 5th year mandarin fluent M&A associates needed in Beijing and Hong Kong at several firms;
• Korean fluent 2nd to 4th year cap markets associate needed in Hong Kong;
• 2nd to 5th year Japanese fluent M&A associates needed in Tokyo;
• 4th to 6th year mandarin fluent cap markets associate needed in Hong Kong;
• 2nd to 4th year M&A / cap markets mix associate needed in Singapore.
The last time I flapped my wings your way, I tried to make at least enough noise about your mobile phone to make you more than a little bit uncomfortable. I hope I did. If enough of us become anxious enough about the known and unknown unknowns and knowns in our mobile phones, then we can start making wise decisions about how to manage that information and its resultant investigations.
Today, I’d like to put a finer point on the last installment’s topic by asking a question that seemed to catch most attendees off-guard at a conference panel that I moderated last week: is there discoverable personal information in a mobile app? Our panelists’ answer was a uniform “yes” with one stating that, if he had to choose only one type of data that he could discover from a mobile phone, he’d choose app data. Why? Because there’s simply so much of it and because almost all of it is objective – not just user-created like an email – but machine-tracked like GPS, usage duration, log in and log out times, browsed web addresses, browsed actual addresses. Also, most of us seem to have the idea that data doesn’t actually “stick” to our mobile devices the way it “sticks” to our hard drives. Maybe there’s a disconnect based on the fact that our phones are mobile so we assume the data is mobile to?
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