Craigslist

We get a lot of emails about bad attorney jobs posted on Craigslist. Most of them are sad, but in a dull, non-newsworthy, way. Occasionally something particularly outrageous comes our way, like the Legal Baller or an ad possibly written by a doomsday cult.

But rarely do we see the Craigslist posting that appears fairly absurd on first glance, but then, the longer you look at it, makes you start to wonder, “Hey, that might just be pretty awesome.” Keep reading for a job posting from earlier this week that might interest attorneys who like their justice served hot, with a side of sweet potato fries…

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I wish U.S. News could come up with a data point that tells us how much money law schools invest in educating students and finding them employment, versus how much money they just pour into professorial salaries to people more interested in publishing than teaching.

Because really, this little Craigslist ad from a small law school in California seems to confirm what most people already believe to be true: when it comes the actual teaching of law, law schools are looking to save money.

Have you ever wondered who writes the “answers” to you law school exams? It very well could be out of work recent graduates who found that their legal training doesn’t translate into a full time job…

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And now we come to the part of our day where students at top law schools have their toolishness exposed for the entertainment of the masses.

In the arena today are not one, but two, Harvard Law 3Ls who are in need of a date for the Barrister’s Ball. Instead of securing a date in the normal way, they’re trying to see what their Crimson credentials will net them on the open market of Craigslist.

Oh, they say that they’re looking for two dates, but I’m willing to bet just one woman could take them both on….

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Last week we covered a confident San Diego attorney’s entertaining Craigslist ad for a young, hip, attractive assistant. I’ma let you talk, Legal Baller. Your ad was pretty good, but I wanted to let you know that a Denver business just posted the most bats**t-crazy Craigslist lawyer ad of all time. OF ALL TIME.

Let’s take a look…

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On the Philadelphia Craigslist, there is a job listing for people who enjoy pissing all over the 99% — a part-time job for a most likely unemployed person who nonetheless loves the people in power and hates everybody else. Oh, and applicants better have not protested against the Iraq war, because apparently this employer loves people who never question authority.

See, this is why we still have to pay attention to Super Tuesday despite the fact that the Republicans are down to a robot and a guy who hates women. Republicans always have a puncher’s chance because there are so many people in this country right now who are unemployed and willing to take part-time crap work, who still believe that someday — magically — they will end up on top.

It’s much easier to sing to these American idiots about the dream of prosperity than to tell people the truth: statistically speaking, you’re more likely to be struck by lightning that to go from the mailroom to the boardroom.

But, since I suspect at least 50% of the unemployed people out there don’t understand how the system works, let me post the job. Have fun with your self-loathing….

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If so, and if you happen to be a “[y]oung attractive hip female,” keep reading….

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Hey 1Ls, is law school getting you down? Are you tired of doing your 1L bitchwork, like briefing cases? Then have we got a deal for you! For the low, low price of a weekly cup of coffee, you can outsource all of your undesirable tasks to an up-and-coming sucker! Because why try your hardest to succeed when you can get someone else to do it for you?

As one tipster puts it, this is exactly what an “unbelievably entrepreneurial 1L” is doing at a top-tier, southwestern law school. Watch out, law schools: you’re not the only ones who can play the game of duping unsuspecting undergraduates.

Does this kid have what it takes to farm out his work to a gunner in training? Let’s find out….

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It’s the great downside of Halloween. You meet a girl, you like her, things seem to be going well. And then, poof, she’s gone. And because she was in costume, you don’t even know what her face looks like, the color of her hair, or if those were her real breasts.

It’s heartbreaking.

But we live in the internet age, where Craigslist has devised a partial solution for these situations: the Missed Connections page. And this one should be easier to match than most, because he actually knows the woman’s name.

Let’s help this stalker these two law students out. It’s Halloween, a much better time for hot love than whatever boring-ass sex people are having around Valentine’s Day….

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Today, via Craigslist, we have a guy who maybe needs to give up the ghost on going to law school. He’s probably a very nice person who is a credit to his family, but the experience might not be for him. Hopefully he figures that out before somebody takes him up on his $10,000 tutoring offer.

Yeah, there’s a guy on Craigslist who is willing to pay a private tutor $10,000 if he or she can help him get a 160 or better on the LSAT. To this point, he’s taken two test prep courses and studied using various books, but hasn’t broken 155.

At least the kid has the good sense to not go to a law school that would be thrilled to have him at 155. But I think he should continue acting with self-restraint and find something better to do with his ten grand….

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I hope it hasn’t come to this. For the sake of Bravo, of reality television, of the legal profession in general, I hope this Craigslist ad is fake.

Because if it’s not, that means that Bravo is putting together a pilot for some kind of Beverly Hills-based, female-lawyer reality show, and the network is casting it on Craigslist through somebody who so has his finger on the pulse of whatever that he’s still using an AOL email address.

I mean… hey, calm down L.A. ladies, I’ll give you the damn email address in two seconds….

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