* A litigant with a Supreme pimp hand? Darius Clark, the man whose child-abuse case — which is currently before SCOTUS — will determine whether teachers may testify of behalf children, was indicted for allegedly running a prostitution ring from jail. [Northeast Ohio Media Group]
* Judge Mark Fuller of the Middle District of Alabama was arrested last summer on domestic violence charges after his wife confronted him about an alleged affair with a law clerk. What a gent! He’ll be resigning from the bench August 1. [USA Today]
* You can roll your eyes at Rand Paul all you want, but several key parts of the Patriot Act expired shortly after midnight because the Senate was unable to reach a deal to extend it. (FYI, DOJ may still use grandfathered privacy-poaching techniques.) [New York Times]
* “Nothing changes. The system is disgusting. There is no due process.” Do you want to read the story that made Cuba’s government ban an American legal journalist from any further coverage of the country’s court system? Of course you do. [Daily Business Review]
* “I can’t preserve caution in my delight with Ruth.” This is what retired Justice David Souter wrote about Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s performance after her first week on the bench. He already knew back then that she was no-no-no-NOTORIOUS. [Boston Globe]
* Ex-House Speaker Dennis Hastert, who recently resigned from Dickstein Shapiro following his indictment, was allegedly paying a former student “hundreds of thousands of dollars” to keep quiet about past sexual abuse at the politician’s hands. [New York Times]
* Beau Biden, former state attorney general of Delaware, major in the Delaware Army National Guard’s JAG Corps, and son of Vice President Joe Biden, RIP. [Washington Post]
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According to columnist Tamara Tabo, Josh Duggar himself might have benefited if his parents had handled the first reports of sexual abuse as the law required.
What drove him into this situation, and what will happen to him next?
* It may have taken two years, but Lindsay Lohan finally completed her community service for her reckless driving conviction. In other news, for the first time in almost eight years, the Hollywood has-been is off probation. Yay! [Los Angeles Times]
* A former staff attorney at Drinker Biddle was suspended from practice after overbilling his time doing doc review work by just a tad — 418.5 hours, to be exact. He owes the firm $12,500 to be paid in monthly installments of $100. [Legal Intelligencer]
* An ex-assistant dean and a professor at Cleveland-Marshall Law filed suit against Dean Craig Boise, claiming he retaliated against them after they assisted the faculty in unionizing. This, after they were offered raises of $0 or $666. [Northeast Ohio Media]
* Someone’s allegedly been a very bad boy: Ex-House Speaker Dennis Hastert was indicted by a federal grand jury for lying to the FBI in an attempt to conceal payoffs to a third party to cover up his “prior bad acts.” We wonder what those “bad acts” were… [BuzzFeed News]
* We bet you didn’t know that if you get convicted for sex on the beach you’d have to serve jail time and register as a sex offender. Protip: Don’t let 3-year-olds catch you doing the dirty in public. You’ll regret it for life (or until you win an appeal). [Bradenton Herald]
* As it turns out, Marilyn Mosby, State’s Attorney for Baltimore, has been a legal all-star for much of her adult life. Not only did she file charges against police officers in the death of Freddie Gray, but she won a case in front of Judge Judy. Watch the video below. [New York Daily News]
* “No one needs more than 18 years in the high stakes and extremely powerful position of Supreme Court justice.” If you’re against lifetime terms for SCOTUS justices, you’re going to love Fix the Court’s new initiative for voluntary term limits. Who’d actually follow through with this? [Legal Times]
* The DOJ brought a landmark case against FIFA officials, but there’s likely going to be a problem getting those who were charged extradited from Switzerland. Legal experts say it’ll be at least six months until we can get them in the U.S. penalty box. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Sure, Dewey & LeBoeuf’s former chief financial officer may have referred to the firm’s “fake income” and hoped for a “clueless auditor,” but come on, that doesn’t mean that he was involved in anything fraudulent. He’s just a really “blunt” kind of guy. [Am Law Daily]
* UC law students are thanking Gov. Jerry Brown they’re exempt from supplemental tuition increases — “[they] are paying a ton already for [their] degrees.” Good thing legal education is in the toilet, otherwise they’d be paying the fee hikes. [Los Angeles Times]
* Comedian Tracy Morgan has settled his personal injury lawsuit against Wal-Mart over the tractor-trailer truck crash he was involved in last summer. The terms of the settlement have not been disclosed, but we imagine someone will leak them online soon. [Reuters]
* You down with R.B.G.? Yeah, you know me! Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore wants SCOTUS Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Elena Kagan to be impeached for having performed same-sex marriage ceremonies. Haters gonna hate. [Huffington Post]
* Here’s a jury duty chart of those you’ll be forced to sit next to, from the “idiot who treats the Jury Foreman selection like a presidential campaign” to the “elderly woman who compares everything to an episode of ‘Matlock’ she once saw.” [Mandatory]
* It turns out that the state trooper who failed to do anything about Josh Duggar’s criminal sexual activity with a minor and allowed the statute of limitations to run had a penchant for child porn. According to court records, this guy is… pretty damn disgusting. [Jezebel]
* “May I please have some of that money you’ve got under the counter there, miss?” Are you really robbing a bank if you acted like a Boy Scout, asked nicely for money, and then received it — to the tune of $28,000? Kevin Underhill doesn’t think so. [Lowering the Bar]
* If you’ve never seen a Dealbreaker dramatic reading before, then here’s your sneak peek. Watch “the greatest intern Wall Street has ever seen” invite everyone and their mother to a party via company email, and then fail in the most epic sense of the word. [Dealbreaker]
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Not surprisingly, the attorneys for the prosecution and the defense painted two drastically different pictures of the firm’s demise.
* It’s summer associate season in Biglaw, so here are some tips to help you not completely screw up your futures. (But if you do catch someone misbehaving, make sure to send your friends here at ATL a tip.) [MoneyBeat / Wall Street Journal]
* Break out the vuvuzelas, because Loretta Lynch just scored herself a gigantic GOOOOAAAALLLL!!!! Several of FIFA’s top officials were arrested in Switzerland for extradition to America to face federal corruption charges over years of alleged racketeering and wire fraud. [New York Times]
* “Not all the evidence that you hear and see will be riveting.” The Dewey & LeBoeuf financial crimes trial may be sexy for Biglaw aficianados, but at least one of the prosecutors on the case had the courtesy to warn jurors they’d be bored. [Am Law Daily]
* Which Biglaw firms are the best places for new fathers to work? According to a recent report from Fatherly, a digital parenting resource for men, Arnold & Porter, Alston & Bird, and Baker Donelson all have pretty nice paternity leave policies. [Nooga.com; Fatherly]
* At some law firms, working part-time or on a flexible schedule isn’t necessarily a career killer for women, but that doesn’t change the fact that at other firms, doing so means that “they’re no longer on that partnership/management track.”[Crain’s Chicago Business]
* Daniel Meltzer, Story Professor of Law at Harvard Law School, former Principal Deputy Counsel to President Obama, and federal courts scholar, RIP. [Legal Theory Blog]
While the jury definitely doesn’t need to know everything about a case, why not consider giving them their own shot at fully understanding the evidence that has been presented?
* What Dewey think the leaders of this failed firm — Steven Davis, Stephen DiCarmine, and Joel Sanders — were doing during Memorial Day Weekend? Odds are at least one was working on his tan prior to opening arguments at tomorrow’s trial. [American Lawyer]
* Sofia Vergara will be heading back to court after a judge granted Nick Loeb, her ex-fiancé, permission to amend his complaint to seek custody over the couple’s frozen embryos. “There is no legal issue. Embryos are not children,” says her lawyer. [ET Online]
* After making great hay of the school’s apparently dire financial straits in a last-ditch effort to woo InfiLaw back into its lonely arms, Charleston Law will be enrolling new students after all. We’ll have more on this desperate move later. [Post and Courier]
* Cuba Libres for everyone! The Florida Bar is sending a parade of lawyers into Cuba to explore potential business opportunities while Biglaw firms are breaking into their stashes of Romeo y Julietas in preparation for an influx of post-embargo billable hours. [Reuters]
* Students at Northern Kentucky Law may soon be doing time at a local jail to complete their educations, since the administration is considering moving the school there. At least they’ll have practice for their residence in debtors’ prisons in the future. [NKY.com]
Why should civil libertarians care what happens to 170 or so bikers in Waco? Columnist Tamara Tabo explains.
* Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich isn’t the only politician who will be joining Dentons. After Dentons completes a merger with McKenna Long & Aldridge, former DNC Chair Howard Dean will also be working for the largest law firm in the world. YEEEAAAH! [The Intercept]
* Now that New York has adopted the Uniform Bar Exam, other states are considering it. Hurry up, because the UBE will “break down the long persistent barriers that keep lawyers from moving” — which isn’t a bad thing. [National Law Journal]
* In half a century of reproductive and gay rights cases, it’s worth noting that “arguments based on a right to privacy have tended to weaken and crack; arguments based on equality have grown only stronger.” Let’s see what SCOTUS does in June. [The New Yorker]
* All six of the Baltimore police officers who were arrested following the death of Freddie Gray have been indicted on homicide and assault charges. Despite the fact there’s now an indictment, the officers’ lawyers are calling the prosecution’s case weak. [New York Times]
* “Can you #trademark a #hashtag?” It’s somewhat of a tricky issue for people who are trying to register their marks at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, but these attorneys from IP powerhouse Morrison & Foerster have a pretty good explanation. [Law.com]
It starts as the story of a stupid stunt, but in the end his stuffed animal teaches us something important about the legal system.
How could the jury believe that a person so young could be so unredeemable? That the only satisfactory conclusion to his heinous acts would be his own death?