Dan Snyder

Holy crap, it worked. Not the ads or the begging or a pointless debate with an implacable owner, but simply going through the legal system actually worked. The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office cancelled six federal trademark registrations for the Washington Redskins. The office held that the marks could not be protected because they are “disparaging to Native Americans.”

You see, not everything in this world is subject to the whim of a rich white man who doesn’t care about the people he’s offending. We are a nation of laws, and sometimes those laws even win!

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* Poe’s The Raven, if the narrator was a midlevel associate working on Christmas. Excerpt: As of someone slowly rapping, rapping at my office door. “‘Tis the janitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my office door — Likely here to clean the floor.” Ha. [Law Poetry]

* In the wake of Greece, a Satanist wants to open a government meeting with a Satanic prayer. When reached for comment, Dick Cheney said he was flattered. [Broward Palm Beach New Times]

* Dan Snyder is just awful. Now he’s sent a cease and desist letter to LaVar Arrington because Arrington describes himself as a “Redskins great.” Because if anyone around here is going to needlessly slur indigenous people, it’s going to be Dan Snyder. [Deadspin]

* Speaking of cease and desist letters, the one we talked about yesterday — sent over a bad Amazon review — has resulted in Amazon yanking the seller’s license. [ArsTechnica]

* Come on, lawyers. Clean up after yourselves. Especially if you’re just leaving Molly all over someone else’s car. [South Florida Lawyers]

* Guy in Alabama killed his wife, three dogs and a parrot after she sent a critical text. I know this is a tragedy, but as I saw the story all I could think is the parrot was somehow completely to blame. [AL.com]

* There’s still a slave plantation in the United States and it’s terrifying. [Policy Mic]

* Sometimes it’s worth remembering that we have it very easy as lawyers compared to some in other parts of the world. A lawyer representing a professor accused of blasphemy in Pakistan was gunned down last night. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* A conversation with Solicitor General Donald Verrilli. The full interview is available after the jump… [California Lawyer]

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So a lot of clients are jerks.

We all know it, it’s why lawyers are so terrible: we spend all our time taking out how awful some client is on others. But no one ever calls out the client in public, because we’re either too nice or too interested in keeping our business to ridicule our gravy train.

But then there are some lawyers who are big enough and important enough to become the Honey Badger and just rip clients on the radio.

Maybe this is one more advantage of being part of Skull & Bones….

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Gilbert Arenas

* Remember the law firm screw-up that revealed juicy dish about NBA star Gilbert Arenas and his ex-fiancee, Laura Govan? Here’s an update. [Reliable Source / Washington Post]

* Musical chairs: King & Spalding picks up 14 litigators from Filice Brown. [The Recorder via ABA Journal]

* Be careful when buying up Google search terms — or you might end up owing $300K to the hat-sporting advocates at Binder & Binder. [Legal Skills Prof Blog]

* It seems that Redskins owner Dan Snyder, the plaintiff in a dubious defamation action, has his hand in a second suit — this time against Cadwalader. [Am Law Daily]

* In the wake of the tragic killing of Chief Judge John Roll, it’s probably unwise for a politician to call for putting federal judges “on the Endangered Species list.” [TPMDC]

* A tipster has the credited blurb for this article on judges in France: “Insert French surrender joke here.” [USA Today]

Santa convention? No, just French judges.

* A (rather cute) male associate named William stands accused of sending around pictures of his Greg. [The Dirty]

* If you’ll be in NYC on February 23, come to the annual dinner of the Asian American Bar Association of New York, which I’ll be emceeing once again. [AABANY]

* Looking for a job — or for a new employee? Don’t forget the ATL job board. [Above the Law Jobs Board]

This is rich. The owner of the Washington Redskins, Dan Snyder, has sued the Washington City Paper for a column he claims defamed him and used anti-Semitic imagery. That’s right, the man who has famously defended his right to name an entire football team after an ethnic slur is playing the ethnic card because a columnist made fun of him.

The kicker is that on top of this amazing execution of rank hypocrisy, Snyder manages to insult all Jews who have actually dealt with anti-Semitism by coming up with an ethnic offense where none existed. The columnist wasn’t making Jewish jokes or playing off of Jewish stereotypes. He was calling Dan Snyder a terrible owner and a shady dude. Saying he was a victim of anti-Semitism degrades the term and make this entire lawsuit look like the petulant reaction of a narcissistic millionaire.

As Dennis Green might say: Daniel Snyder is who we thought he was….

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