David Trager

* If you’re a famous pill-popper, you can now blame your shadiness on privacy needs. Judges will totally feel bad for you and let you off the hook. [Los Angeles Times]

* Match.com wants you to know that it’s okay to look. What they don’t want you to know is that you’re looking for love in all the wrong places. [Dallas Morning News]

* The Rock laid the smack down on a candy ass 7-year-old, who apparently failed to smell what the Rock was cooking. What’s cooking now, jabroni? A lawsuit. [Reuters]

* If the Colorado Supreme Court throws out new pot sale laws, stoners will smoke two joints before they smoke two joints, and then they’ll smoke two more. [Bloomberg]

* Looks like you got yourself a situation, dad. In Jersey, you can have baby mama drama even after you’re dead. [Washington Post]

* Judge David Trager (E.D.N.Y.), R.I.P. [New York Times]