Davis Polk

* President Donald Trump has officially objected to special counsel Robert Mueller testifying before Congress via Twitter (obviously), putting himself at odds with his own Attorney General Bill Barr, who previously said he’d have no problem with Mueller’s testimony. [New York Times]

* Justice Clarence Thomas, the high court’s longest-serving justice, may finally be having his moment in the sun. As a member of the more conservative SCOTUS majority, his views are finally being given more credence as he “drags the court in his direction.” If he holds true to his refusal to retire, in 2028, he could become the longest-serving justice in history. [Associated Press]

* “I don’t have anything to hide. This guy Cohen has muddied the record and tried to muddy our reputation. I won’t let that happen.” Michael Cohen’s ex-defense attorney says that not only has his former client sullied his name, but that he still owes $43K in legal fees. [New York Law Journal]

* Meanwhile, Michael Cohen is heading to a prison today that’s been referred to as “a great place for white-collar Jewish guy,” with a menu that includes matzo ball soup and gefilte fish. Plus, he’ll get to hang out with Mike Sorrentino of Jersey Shore and Billy McFarland of Fyre Festival. [Reuters]

* Greg Andres, a senior prosecutor on special counsel Robert Mueller’s team who served as lead trial lawyer in Paul Manafort’s case, is headed back to Davis Polk. [Big Law Business]

* According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the U.S. economy added 263,000 jobs last month, but it looks like the legal profession was left out of all the fun, declining by 0.7 percent. Just in time for graduation… [American Lawyer]

* Was Michael Cohen involved in any talk about potential pardons? Lawmakers are now very interested in exploring this topic to find out if anyone was allegedly obstructing justice. [Washington Post]

* As we’ve been hearing for a while now, special counsel Robert Mueller will submit his final report soon, and it’s going to turn into a political firestorm. [Bloomberg]

* Meanwhile, Rep. Jerry Nadler (D-NY), chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, says it’s “very clear” that President Trump obstructed justice in Mueller’s probe, and he’s sending out document requests for his own investigation. [Chicago Tribune]

* Thomas Reid is out as the managing partner of Davis Polk after accepting the role of general counsel at Comcast. Congratulations and best of luck! [Corporate Counsel]

* No one could have possibly seen this one coming: After his stint as White House counsel, Don McGahn will be returning to Jones Day. [National Law Journal]

* Michael Cohen was disbarred just days ago, but it’s possible he could practice law again the future. It won’t be easy, of course, but it could happen. [Big Law Business]

* Yay, more law schools… Concordia Law and Lincoln Memorial Law were granted full accreditation by the American Bar Association this weekend. [KTVB 7; WATE 6]

Uh-oh! Trouble in paradise? It looks like Martin Shkreli’s lawyer — who also happens to be his co-defendant — has turned on him.

* Florida has released the results from its administration of the February 2017 bar exam, and they were not pretty. The percentage of those who passed dipped a bit since 2016, but students at both Orlando law schools were more likely to have failed. But which law school did the worst of all? We’ll have more on this later. [Orlando Sentinel]

* Trouble in paradise? Martin Shkreli’s former lawyer, Evan Greebel — who also happens to be his co-defendant — has turned on him, accusing the pharma bro of submitting false documents to the Securities and Exchange Commission and engaging in illegal stock trading. Greebel, of course, now wants to be tried separately from Shkreli. [Bloomberg]

* “I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would be back.” Five women who once worked at Davis Polk and had been gone for at least two years to raise their families have returned to the firm for one-year stints with a program called “Davis Polk Revisited.” If all goes well, they may be able to return for a longer period of time. [WSJ Law Blog]

* A former Hunton & Williams partner who spent 20 years on the lam as a fugitive has finally been caught. Scott Wolas, who was disbarred in 1999, was most recently accused in a $1.5 million real estate investment fraud scheme. Over the course of his alleged criminal career, Wolas reportedly assumed a number of other aliases. [Am Law Daily]

* Each year around Easter, the ABA Journal hosts a Peeps in Law diorama contest. It’s time to cast your vote for your favorite, and this time around, the competition is pretty stiff. We’re particularly partial to the entry that’s been dubbed “State of Peepington v. Trump,” but “Peepsburg and Sugarmayor” is also very cute. Vote! [ABA Journal]

* Are federal authorities investigating Fox News? [Law360]

* Has Trump made law school “cool again”? No. Law school was never cool. [Quartz]

* What do you know? Looks like some firms are finally waking up to the fact that they didn’t have good years and really couldn’t afford to jack up associate salaries. [ABA Journal]

* That said, Davis Polk just had its self-described “best year ever.” Did nobody tell these people Bowie died? [Am Law Daily]

* Judges say they understand technology, but contradictory rulings about discovery and “the cloud” may say otherwise. [Law.com]

* The litigation finance industry is leery of class actions. Should they be? [The Recorder]

* Then again, maybe it won’t matter because this Congress is trying to gut class actions by making it next to impossible to find lawyers willing to take on these cases. [Forbes]

* Hofstra Law is opening a clinic to serve immigrants dealing with deportation. [Newsday]

* Nobody actually likes the Rams or Chargers. That’s why Biglaw is in deep with a gaggle of antitrust suits brought by the people of Los Angeles over having to buy NFL Sunday Ticket. [Law.com]

* Former Berkeley Law dean Sujit Choudhry is suing the school, claiming that Berkeley discriminated against him by punishing him more harshly for alleged sexual harassment compared to white professors. [Law.com]

* The family of Sandra Bland settles its lawsuit over her death for $1.9 million. [New York Times]

* The Sixth Circuit, sitting en banc (and rather splintered), rules that the mental-health ban on gun ownership could violate the Second Amendment. [How Appealing]

* Congratulations to Miami corporate partner Ira Coleman, who will replace Peter John Sacripanti and Jeffrey E. Stone as chair of McDermott Will & Emery in January. [Big Law Business]

* Ashurst remains in a tailspin, with five partners (including two office heads) leaving in the span of 24 hours. [Ashurst]

* In other U.K. law firm news, Freshfields is replacing “Dear Sirs” with gender-neutral salutations in all communications and legal documents. [The Lawyer via Big Law Business]

* More exciting news for Bancroft: recognition for its pro bono work, which partners pledge will continue after they move over to Kirkland. [Law360]

* Paging parents who left Davis Polk to raise their kids: here’s a program to bring you back into Biglaw. [Law.com via ABA Journal]

* “Your complaint claims that it must speak for us because we are too afraid to speak for ourselves. That is not how we see ourselves and certainly not how any of us believes our clients and colleagues perceive us.” Some female partners at Chadbourne & Parke are speaking out against the $100 million class-action sex discrimination lawsuit that’s been filed on their behalf. We’ll have more on this news update later today. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Davis Polk is so desperate to improve gender diversity at the firm that it has launched an alumni rehiring program to give women who have opted to leave the firm to raise children a pathway back to an associate-level position. Participants in the program will earn $190K for one year, and may be offered a permanent job. [Am Law Daily]

* Say hello to Michael Gerstenzang, who was elected as Cleary Gottlieb’s new managing partner. He’s been with the firm for his entire career as an attorney since the 1990s, and he’ll continue to maintain his private equity and funds practice during his time serving as the firm’s leader, or rather, its “listener in chief.” Congratulations! [Legal Week]

* The House of Representatives approved the Financial Choice Act, a bill meant to roll back portions of the Dodd-Frank Act, including the Volcker Rule and the Durbin Amendment. Critics had this to say: “This bill is so bad that it simply cannot be fixed. It’s clear that this is a rushed, partisan messaging tool.” [DealBook / New York Times]

* Sixteen years after the alleged fraud took place, ex-AIG chairman Hank Greenberg is standing trial. Although he’s accused of orchestrating multimillion-dollar transactions, David Boies of Boies Schiller says “[t]his case is devoid of any admissible evidence that ties Mr. Greenberg to anything improper in either of these transactions.” [Reuters]

* Deborah Broyles, global diversity director at Reed Smith, RIP. [Big Law Business]