Deepwater Horizon

* SmileDirectClub has filed a $2.8 billion lawsuit against NBC for broadcasting an allegedly defamatory and misleading story about the company. They sound more like FrownDirectClub… [Hill]

* A well-known Texas lawyer is suing his estate planning attorney for a Texas-sized tax liability he wasn’t able to avoid. [Texas Lawyer]

* A New Orleans lawyer has been disbarred for spending her client’s settlement money received because of the Deepwater Horizon explosion. [Advocate]

* The Georgia Supreme Court has struck down a law requiring the licensing of lactation specialists. First learned about this profession from The Office. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

* A lawsuit against the parents of a killer who murdered four people is being allowed to proceed. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* An Iowa attorney has been suspended from practice for overbilling a public defender’s office, sometimes logging more than 24 hours in a day. Maybe the lawyer had Doc Brown’s DeLorean? [Bloomberg Law]

* President Trump’s former lawyer Michael Cohen will be released from prison early over COVID-19 concerns. He will still be under house arrest, which is not unlike the situation of many people right now… [NBC News]

* Speaking of which, R. Kelly’s lawyer is trying to get the incarcerated singer cut loose because of COVID-19 and says R. Kelly thinks he’ll die of coronavirus in prison. [New York Daily News]

* It’s been a decade since the Deepwater Horizon explosion, and the Mark Wahlberg movie would be a lot more boring if it just covered the legal battles that ensued from the incident. [Texas Lawyer]

* Check out this Boston lawyer who is volunteering 20 hours a week at Massachusetts General Hospital to give back during the COVID-19 pandemic. [Boston.com]

* New York’s Appellate Division, First Department, will be going all virtual for the foreseeable future. Hope they still have that nifty light system to tell attorneys how much time they have left. [New York Law Journal]

* The trial of Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes has been delayed because of COVID-19. Thankfully, Theranos isn’t around to make faulty COVID-19 tests… [CNN]

* Joe Exotic, star of the Netflix docuseries Tiger King, has asked a federal judge for access to a computer and a law library in prison. If he gets a computer, his first priority should be making another music video. [TMZ]

* Dewey know what Justice Robert Stolz will do now that the jury has declared itself deadlocked on most charges? Tune in later today. [American Lawyer]

* A case brought by law student turned privacy activist Max Schrems has triggered a European court ruling that Facebook won’t “like.” [How Appealing]

* King & Spalding associate Ethan Davis talks about how he prepared for his argument yesterday before the U.S. Supreme Court. [National Law Journal]

* Thanks to sentencing reform, the Justice Department will release about 6,000 inmates from prison starting later this month. [New York Times]

* Speaking of the DOJ, BP will settle Deepwater Horizon oil spill claims with the feds for a whopping $20 billion. [ABA Journal]

* Elsewhere in news of embattled companies, Volkswagen is turning to Mayer Brown for help in dealing with the emissions scandal that stinks to high heaven. [American Lawyer]

* 50 Cent’s malpractice suit against his ex-lawyers seeks 7.5 billion cents. [Law360]

* When legal recruiters sue each other, things can get ugly — fast. [American Lawyer]

* The NAACP Legal Defense Fund took to Twitter to name every unarmed person of color killed by the police since 1999. Gawker compiled short bios on each. [Gawker]

* Texas planning to ban the “affluenza” defense. [Lowering the Bar]

* Pillsbury just moved into a cozy little office. Emphasis on “little.” [The National Law Journal]

* Georgetown Law students of color raise similar concerns as Columbia students. Again, I don’t understand emotional trauma and I definitely think extensions should be measured in days and not weeks, but it strikes me all the people complaining about the extensions are just exposing themselves as bad students. If you think your neighbor getting 2 more days will hurt your grade, you’re the one with the studying problem. [Georgetown Law Coalition]

* And now Harvard. [Harvard Law Coalition]

* If you rent a refrigerator, you consent to an arbitrator hearing your case after a repairman robs and beats you. Sounds about right. [Public Justice]

* Uber ban after rape allegations. [Redline]

* The Supreme Court told BP that no matter how much it tried, it can’t slip out of its settlement agreement like an oil-soaked seagull. [Think Progress]

* Finally, in the wake of the Eric Garner case, it’s worth looking back at what Justice Marshall told us about police chokeholds. [Mother Jones]

* The Department of Justice has reached yet another settlement in the Deepwater Horizon oil spill case, this time with Transocean Ltd. for $1.4 billion in civil and criminal penalties and fines. [National Law Journal]

* “[W]ith success comes regulatory scrutiny.” Google convinced the FTC to close its ongoing antitrust probe by promising to change its allegedly shady patent usage and purportedly skewed search terms. [Bloomberg]

* According to Littler Mendelson, federal contractors might want to consider sending out sequestration-related layoff notices to employees in order to comply with the WARN Act. America, f**k yeah! [Government Executive]

* Governor Andrew Cuomo will have a major impact on the New York Court of Appeals when appointing new judges. It could be a partisan decision, but his father, former Governor Mario Cuomo, insists his son will leave politics at home. [Capital New York]

* When you write in defense of the value proposition of law school, you wind up in the op-ed pages of the NYT. When you tell the truth about it, you wind up in the opinion pages of the WSJ. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]

* Remember Danae Couch, the Texas Tech law student who was crowned as Miss Texas? She’ll compete for the Miss America title next weekend. If you’d like to help her become a finalist, you can vote for her here! [KFYO]

* Enjoy your Biglaw bonuses now, because according to managing partners, layoffs and de-equitizations may soon be making their return. Oh, only in Pennsylvania? Woohoo, break out the bubbly! Just kidding, that really sucks if it’s true. [Legal Intelligencer]

* The Environmental Protection Agency has temporarily banned BP from entering into future U.S. government contracts because of the company’s “lack of business integrity,” aka the Deepwater Horizon explosion. Ouch, super sick burn, EPA! [National Law Journal]

* Considering going to law school? Then you should also take into consideration the fact that you’ll have to become a lawyer if you want to stand a remote chance of ever being able to pay off your loans. [Fox Business]

* Paul Ceglia pleaded not guilty to fraud charges yesterday in federal court. If only he actually owned half of Facebook as he claims, he probably wouldn’t have a court-appointed attorney representing him. [Bloomberg]

* “No matter how many high-priced lawyers and publicists she employs, she has been exposed for what she is.” Jill Kelley’s lawyer is on the offensive, and his targets are none too pleased about it. [Associated Press]

* Avvo has decided to sell its health business to focus entirely on providing services to lawyers and legal customers. Now the company will be able to do the law justice. (SWIDT?) [Puget Sound Business Journal]

* Arizona’s immigration law is heading to the Supreme Court today. Meanwhile, former Senator Dennis DeConcini lobbed the worst insult ever against his state. How embarrassing for you, Arizona. [New York Times]

* Will Wal-Mart regret not disclosing its bribery investigation sooner? Not when the delay saved millions in criminal fines. What Wal-Mart will regret is being forced into disclosure by the NYT narcs. [Corporate Counsel]

* Delete all the oil from ocean, and then maybe we’ll care about this. A former BP employee was charged with obstruction of justice for deleting texts having to do with the Deepwater Horizon disaster. [Bloomberg]

* The Tennessee Board of Law Examiners has granted Duncan Law an extension on its bid for ABA accreditation. Woohoo, five more years of allowing students to “negligently enroll.” [Knoxville News Sentinel]

* “Once you cross the six-figure mark, you think, what’s a few thousand dollars more?” You’re doing it wrong: you’re supposed to be bragging about a six-figure salary, not a six-figure debt obligation. [Baltimore Sun]

* New Jersey residents don’t always have the great pleasure of nearly being killed by two high-speed Lamborghinis, but when they do, they prefer that police officers be suspended and sue over it. [ABC News]