Department of Homeland Security

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  • Non-Sequiturs: 08.03.17
    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.03.17

    * You can shake a female co-worker’s hand and not get cooties, I promise. [Adequate Man]

    * Why did you decide to go to law school? [Corporette]

    * A Freedom of Information Act request has revealed the stunning way the Department of Homeland Security ordered its agents to treat Congresspeople and lawyers in the aftermath of the travel ban. [Daily Beast]

    * How will you survive if your legal job is replaced by artificial intelligence? [Law and More]

    * Oliver Stone has gotten to the CIA. [Politico]

    * Like true crime TV shows? You’ll appreciate Netflix’s new spoof. [Salon]

    * The Trump administration does not understand the whole concept of popularity. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

    * Who can help Governor Cuomo solve his transit woes? [Cityland]

  • Non-Sequiturs: 07.31.17
    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 07.31.17

    * So… who is in charge of Homeland Security now? Asking for all the immigration lawyers who need to fill out the “named defendants” section of their filings. [Politico]

    * The Gawker effect is real. Maybe Buzzfeed will save us? [Washington Post]

    * Florida law will allow parents to object to the content of their children’s textbooks. I would be in favor of this law if it also required Florida residents to READ children’s textbooks before they object. [Law Street News]

    * We’re now at the point where people are reporting on seating arrangements at cabinet meetings. Trump makes us pathetic. [Newsmax]

    * Here’s some stuff about trash human, Pete Rose. [The Score]

    * Here’s some stuff about trash human, Joe Arpaio. [AZ Central]

  • Morning Docket: 05.18.17
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 05.18.17

    * IBM says Watson’s about to take away your job, which is an announcement IBM makes roughly every three months because they’re taunting us. [Corporate Counsel]

    * Betty Shelby acquitted in the killing of a black motorist because apparently it’s always reasonable to believe a random black guy is going to pull a gun. [NBC News]

    * Former client seeks $1.4 million back that it spent trying to disqualify BakerHostetler. [Law360]

    * Latham’s Alice Fisher has pulled out of the FBI Director sweepstakes. All eyes are on Joe Lieberman right now, but folks G. Gordon Liddy is just sitting there raring to go. [National Law Journal]

    * And apparently Sheriff Clarke (who I’m sure was Trump’s personal pick) is taking a Homeland Security job so he can focus on harassing the poor and disadvantaged without having to bother all those nice bankers. [New York Times]

    * Judge Charles Breyer took a break from writing the best benchslaps of all time to issue a groundbreaking video game ruling citing Star Wars and Love Actually — two movies that should never, ever be mentioned in the same sentence. [Hollywood Reporter]

    * Stupid fan lawsuit against Warriors center ZaZa Pachulia moves on. [KENS5]

    * More horrific allegations from Ken Starr’s world-class leadership at Baylor. [Huffington Post]

  • Morning Docket: 04.07.17
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 04.07.17

    * According to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, Judge Neil Gorsuch will be confirmed to the Supreme Court at about 11:30 a.m. on the first day of the Senate’s nuclear winter. Now that we’re in the nuclear age, when it’s time for the next SCOTUS nominee’s confirmation hearings, Senator Orrin Hatch “expect[s] Armageddon.” [CNN]

    * It’s been about a month since Preet Bharara was ousted from his position as the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, and he isn’t mincing his words when it comes to his firing, calling it “a direct example of the kind of uncertain helter-skelter incompetence” people associate with the Trump administration. [New York Times]

    * Speaking of the Trump administration’s “helter-skelter incompetence,” Twitter has filed suit against the Department of Homeland Security in an attempt to block an agency summons to reveal the identity of @ALT_uscis, an anonymous user who has used the social media platform to criticize the president’s immigration policies. [Reuters]

    * According to the latest data from Bloomberg, Cleary Gottlieb handled the largest volume of M&A deals in 2017’s first quarter, with the firm involved in 22 deals worth more than $98 billion. Skadden Arps, Cravath, Kirkland & Ellis, and Slaughter and May fell in line behind Cleary, each surpassing $54 billion in deal volume. [Big Law Business]

    * Welcome back, John White! Now that Mary Jo White has departed from her position at the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission and is back at Debevoise & Plimpton, her husband — who was the firm’s lone nonequity partner for four years — will return to the firm’s equity partnership, where he can enjoy all of the rain he makes. [Am Law Daily]