Department of Justice

Add imminent to the list of words that only the poets can truly define.

Filing coyly points out that lawlessness is on the menu at White House picnic.

Some folks are really unhappy with the Attorney General.

Trump's 'demeaning fake orgasm was really the straw that broke the camel’s back,' she says.

'They allowed it.'

* R. Kelly has hired a lawyer who specializes in plea negotiations. He might be singing a different tune about case strategy. [Chicago Tribune]

* President Trump has been sued for defamation for statements made about sexual assault allegations. [Rolling Stone]

* The lawyer defending a Brooklyn judge on obstruction charges has been implicated in the case, according to federal prosecutors. This might be a case where a lawyer needs a lawyer. [New York Post]

* The Justice Department has warned the anonymous author of an upcoming expose on the Trump Administration that she or he could be in legal trouble. Hence, why this person has remained anonymous. [Deadline]

* A White House lawyer has indicated that he will not comply with an impeachment inquiry subpoena. [The Hill]

* An Oregon public defender refused to press charges against a homeless man who stole her coat while in court for drug charges. This lawyer can definitely say she’s kind enough to offer the coat off her back… [Oregonian]

* According to an eight-page letter from White House Counsel Pat Cipollone, the White House will not cooperate in the impeachment inquiry because not only does it violate “the Constitution, the rule of law, and every past precedent,” but it also “lacks any legitimate constitutional foundation” and is merely an effort to “nullify the outcome of the democratic process” by negating the 2016 election and influencing the 2020 election. Well then! [Washington Post]

* In case you missed it, here’s what made a federal judge say, “Wow.” In an effort to keep redacted portions of the Mueller report from Congress, representatives from the DOJ essentially argued that a decision to release the Watergate grand jury evidence was “wrongly decided.” [Slate]

* Despite having been dragged into the DLA Piper sexual assault controversy, Kamala Harris has a lot of Biglaw support, and the newly formed National Lawyers Council for Kamala is hoping to raise at least $100,000 by the end of the month to help her campaign for the presidency. [American Lawyer]

* An investigation is currently underway at Yale Law School, where late this past weekend, anti-Semitic graffiti — a swastika with the word “Trump” next to it — was found on the steps to a side entrance to the school. [NBC Connecticut]

* Sign up here if you’d like to take part in a conversation between best-selling author John Grisham and former U.S. attorney Preet Bharara (S.D.N.Y.). I’ll be there to cover the event for Above the Law, and I hope to see you there. [TimesTalks]

* The Judicial Conference of the United States convened yesterday, but not one word was said about the allegations against Justice Brett Kavanaugh or the procedures in place to address misconduct for those of his ilk (i.e., appellate judges who are elevated to the Supreme Court). So much for that… [National Law Journal]

* “He does not want to sue the New York Times. That’s going to open up a Pandora’s box for him.” But if he did, could Justice Kavanaugh sue the Times for libel and win? Unlikely. [Fox News]

* The Justice Department filed suit against NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden for failing to turn over his book to the government for clearance before it was published, and now the DOJ wants all proceeds earned from sales to be turned over instead. [CNBC]

* Did you think law school was full of jerks? Think again. According to the results of the latest Law School Survey of Student Engagement, law students are actually quite nice, thank you very much. [Law.com]

* In case you missed it, Robert Cicale, the Long Island judge who allegedly broke into a former intern’s home to steal her panties, pleaded guilty to attempted burglary and will have to register as a sex offender. [New York Post]

If the EEOC won't stand with the bigots, then the DOJ won't stand with the EEOC.

* Brexit is going to be a real problem for law firms. [Law.com]

* Former paralegal sues firm alleging it “fosters a ‘party culture’ rife with drug use and sexual harassment.” [Philly Voice]

* Law firms are feasting on the Sears bankruptcy. [NY Post]

* 2020 could be a monster year for Biglaw fundraising. [American Lawyer]

* What happens to intellectual property when artificial intelligence starts inventing things? [The Recorder]

* Even the Second Circuit doesn’t want to fly Spirit. [Law360]

* SEC targets investment fund that allegedly preyed upon brain-damaged NFL players to enrich themselves. Team owners, meanwhile, face no repercussions. [Daily Business Review]

* The DOJ makes secret laws? Super. [Politico]

Great opportunities for graduating law students and young lawyers to enter government service -- and serve into the next presidential administration.

* The DOJ sent a newsletter to the nation’s immigration judges including links to a white nationalist website. Bill Barr is running a real crackerjack organization. [Buzzfeed News]

* A deep question and answer exchange with Penn Law’s Amy Wax and she comes off just as loony as you’d expect. [New Yorker]

* It looks like Michael Avenatti is going to put Nike on trial in his upcoming extortion suit. [Law360]

* A Brad Pitt role holds the key to being a good prosecutor. It’s not Tyler Durden and that’s a little surprising. [ABA Journal]

* Weil Gotshal may have cost investment bankers millions, leaving them mere multimillionaires. [NY Post]

* Ed Whelan seems to have no idea how law review articles are written in this tortured effort to defend Trump circuit appointee Steve Menashi’s reputation. Essentially, Whelan says because Menashi’s controversial article was cited by real academics it must be real scholarship — as opposed to a 2L randomly inserting Menashi into a string cite. [National Review]

* Nicholas Sparks won that fight he’s been having with the former headmaster of his vanity school. [Deadline]

* In his final days, accused sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein surrounded himself with lawyers in a private meeting room for up to 12 hours a day, emptying vending machines, if only to escape his cramped, vermin-infested cell. [New York Times]

* The Trump Justice Department wants the Supreme Court to deny civil rights protections for transgender employees, but the EEOC doesn’t agree and its general counsel refused to sign the DOJ’s brief to the high court. [National Law Journal]

* Per a leaked Brexit document, U.K. officials are trying to avoid a “catastrophic collapse in the nation’s infrastructure” (e.g., food, fuel, and medicine shortages; port gridlocks; and civil unrest) if Britain is unable to leave the EU with a deal. [NPR]

* Will other Biglaw firms with similar parental leave policies face scrutiny in the wake of the reverse discrimination lawsuit filed against Jones Day? We’ll have to wait and see if this reproduces additional legal claims. [American Lawyer]

* Milbank just scored a major lateral coup after scooping up some talented IP litigators from Irell & Manella, including David Gindler, the firm’s managing partner. Gindler was Irell’s third managing partner in just a few years. [Big Law Business]

Frankly, this opinion is a model of restraint.

The allegations are sensational, but don't get distracted -- this is a story about a shoddily managed organization.

* President Trump and the RNC sued over a new California law that requires presidential candidates to release five years of tax returns to get onto the 2020 primary ballot. We were wondering when this “naked political attack against the sitting president of the United States” would happen. [New York Times]

* Former FBI agent Peter Strzok has filed suit against the Justice Department over his firing, claiming that being dismissed from the investigative agency for sending text messages disparaging Donald Trump violated his constitutional right to private political speech. [Wall Street Journal]

* From the demise of your favorite toy store to the destruction of one the most recognized luxury stores, Kirkland & Ellis is making a killing when it comes to representing the death of our brick-and-mortar retail economy. [American Lawyer]

* William Brown, a former Navy SEAL who currently works as an associate at McCarter & English, recently led the first-ever sanctioned swim across the Hudson River with 30+ other SEALs to raise money for veterans. Congrats! [Big Law Business]

* Meet Jeffrey Morgan, one of the lucky few lawyers to have had his federal student loans discharged through the Public Service Loan Forgiveness program. Unfortunately, he still owes $67,987.09 in private student loans. [MarketWatch]

* With a no-deal Brexit now on the horizon, lawyers able to practice in Ireland pose about the only path to save the hefty revenue streams of London’s Biglaw behemoths. But Ireland isn’t sure Irish law can be practiced from afar. [International]

* Donald Trump wants all the credit from the First Step Act releasing non-violent drug offenders — meanwhile the Justice Department that he runs is trying to put the people getting released right back in jail because this whole thing is just a publicity stunt so he can have photo ops with Kim Kardashian. [Reuters]

* Baker McKenzie gets out of Brazilian malpractice suit. [American Lawyer]

* Courts are trying to push sexual harassment back into arbitration where it can be quietly covered up like the old days. [Law360]

* Cryptocurrency investor’s suit against AT&T moves forward. [Courthouse News Service]

* Just a former judge being dragged out of a courtroom to serve six months — totally normal. [CNN]

* A divided House of Representatives voted to “strongly condemn[] President Donald Trump’s racist comments” that were recently lodged against four Democratic congresswomen of color “that have legitimized and increased fear and hatred of new Americans and people of color.” [NBC News]

* Plaintiffs in the census citizenship case are seeking sanctions against the Department of Justice for committing “fraud on the court” after allegedly hiding the truth about the case’s origins during trial. This should be interesting, considering the Supreme Court seemed to agree… [Reuters]

* Which Biglaw firms are playing host to 2020 Democratic presidential candidates? Quite a few, actually! From Milbank to Kirkland to Paul Weiss, these politicians are getting cozy with their future lawyers. [American Lawyer]

* Philadelphia District Attorney Larry Krasner has Pennsylvania Supreme Court to declare the death penalty unconstitutional because he claims it’s arbitrary and racially biased. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* Salary news you can use: If you’ve got a law degree and you work in a compliance role, you can expect to make more money than your colleagues without JDs at each and every stage of your career. [Corporate Counsel]

* Retired Justice John Paul Stevens, the former leader of the liberal wing of the Supreme Court, RIP. [New York Times]

Justice Department will not bring charges against the police who murdered Eric Garner.

What in the world was that?!?