Dewey & LeBoeuf

* Now wait a minute, I think being a Biglaw lawyer can be pretty disappointing, but nothing compares to Jar-Jar. [Constitutional Daily] * How much child support does an aging supermodel need? Sorry, lemme rephrase lest you think I’m calling supermodels child-like. How much does an aging supermodel need for child support? [Fashionista] * It is kind of funny that we still “swear people in” before they testify. [Simple Justice] * You really have to go out of your way to find voter fraud. [Election Law Blog] * Is it time to make horse racing illegal? I mean, people only watch it once a year anyway. [Legal Blitz] * I’m not sure what the point would be of dropping the LSAT requirement. So schools who can’t attract students who do well on the LSAT don’t get embarrassed by U.S. News every year? Oh wait, yeah that’s it. [LSAT Blog] * Yeah, I’m pretty sure everybody who was ever let go by either Dewey or LeBoeuf is feeling pretty good right now. [Huffington Post] * Honestly cannot deal with Occupy anymore. It’s an election year. How are these people not in a phone bank? [Dealbreaker]

An internal memo urges partners at Dewey & LeBoeuf to seek "alternative opportunities." Yikes....

* Dewey really need to keep coming up with punny headlines about D&L’s painful probe? Pass the lube, ’cause you better believe we dew! Steven Davis, the firm’s former chairman, has hired Barry Bohrer, a white-collar criminal lawyer. [WSJ Law Blog]

* “Of course all of that money for my baby mama is legal. I… uh… checked with my lawyers. Um, yeah. Just get the money in.” Cheri Young gave some pretty damning testimony yesterday during the John Edwards campaign-finance violations trial. [CNN]

* As if you didn’t have enough to worry about during finals, Law School Transparency has come out with a new clearinghouse that includes employment outcomes, salaries, and student debt loads. [National Law Journal]

* “I do not own a color. I own a specific color in a specific place.” Christian Louboutin was seeing red when he responded to interview questions over his trademark infringement suit against Yves Saint Laurent. [Fox News]

* Remember that Nutella class action suit? Ferrero settled, and you can cash in if you bought their delicious hazelnut crack during the relevant time period. Needless to say, they owe me $20. [American Thinker]

* Richard Bellman, the lawyer behind New Jersey’s “Mount Laurel doctrine,” RIP. [New York Times]

Who are the latest partners to leave Dewey & LeBoeuf, and where are they going?

LeBoeuf is not yet done. What's the good news cooking over at Dewey & LeBoeuf?

What's going on with Dewey & LeBoeuf's summer associate program? And what's the deal with that possible criminal investigation?

* Dewey get to see a member of this firm’s chairman’s office strut for a perp walk in the near future? After all, partners reportedly say that it’s thanks to him that D&L may close up shop “as early as next week.” [Law360 (sub. req.)]

* De-equitize this: Oh, how Biglaw firms in America wish that they could return to merry old England, where mandatory retirement policies for old fart partners are the norm, and the courts agree. [Legal Week]

* “We’re about to beat a dead horse here.” Even the judge presiding over the John Edwards trial got pissed when the defense repeatedly asked variations of the same question on cross-examination. [MSNBC]

* Ain’t no shame in his game (well, actually, there is). Judge Wade McCree’s lawyer says he’s sure the judge is sorry for his sext messaging. Yeah, sorry he got caught. [Detroit Free Press]

* Is this the first test of the “ministerial exception” in the Perich case? A teacher at a Catholic school was fired for getting in vitro fertilization treatments, and now she’s suing. [CNN]

* Insert your own UVA joke here, bro. Yeardley Love’s family has filed a $30M wrongful death suit against former college lacrosse player, George Huguely V. [Washington Examiner]

According to our research, which are the happiest Biglaw firms? And the unhappiest?

* Dewey need to take a look at the Biglaw industry in general before more firms implode? Hell yes, says an author who’s written on the economics and management of law firms. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Wal-Mart was served with its first shareholder suit over its alleged bribery scandal, because the only thing on rollback this week is the price of the company’s stock shares. [Reuters]

* Does diplomatic immunity give you a free pass for getting handsy with the maid? Guess we’ll see next week, when a judge rules on DSK’s motion to dismiss his civil suit. [New York Daily News]

* As long as you’ve got money, the TSA will totally look the other way if you’ve got suitcases filled with drugs. Vibrators, on the other hand, are simply out of the question. [Bloomberg]

* As of yesterday, Connecticut became the seventeenth state to kill the death penalty. But not so fast, death row inmates. You still get to die. Isn’t that nice? [CNN]

* Franchise agreements be damned, because even judges can understand that sometimes, you just need to eat a delicious sandwich while you’re getting a lap dance. [KTVN]

Are Dewey's offices in Silicon Valley... haunted? No, seriously....

When are Dewey's debts due? And can the firm figure out a rescue plan before that date?

If Dewey goes under, staffers will also lose their jobs. Here is one paralegal’s perspective on what’s going on at D&L….

Which rival Biglaw firm might be a Dewey suitor? Who's the latest partner to leave Dewey? And what about summer associates and incoming associates?

* No dowry, no problem: Dewey we have a suitor for this imploding Biglaw firm? Rumor has it that Greenberg Traurig was seen whispering sweet nothings into D&L’s ear about its possible interest. [Am Law Daily]

* BlackBerry maker Research In Motion has hired Milbank Tweed to work out a restructuring plan. Just think, maybe if your product didn’t suck so hard, you wouldn’t be in this position in the first place. [Reuters]

* Sex, money, and betrayal… it sounds like another failed TV series about lawyers on ABC, but in actuality, it’s just a preview of the John Edwards campaign finance trial set to begin this week. [Los Angeles Times]

* Technophobes beware, because this copyright battle over code is getting serious. Oracle v. Google turned into Larry v. Larry in court last week as the CEOs for both companies gave testimony. [Bits / New York Times]

* George Zimmerman thought he’d have to stay in jail longer because he was having trouble coming up with his bail money, but he was released in the dead of night. Bet he looked pretty suspicious. [CNN]

* “There are [fewer students] coming in and crying. I haven’t had a crier yet, which I have had in the past.” Given the legal hiring market, that’s a real accomplishment for a career services official. [Charlotte Observer]

* Who gives a sh*t? Not this Russian fertilizer tycoon. When you’re a billionaire, buying an $88M apartment for your kid is just a run-of-the-mill transaction. Come on, he’s not hiding his assets for his divorce. [Telegraph]

Is it true that FedEx is banned at Dewey? Which D&L partners might be heading for the door next? And what's all this talk about bankruptcy protection?

What is Dewey going to do with incoming associates from the class of 2012? And will it hold on to its foreign offices?

Dewey might be closing some of its foreign offices. Which overseas outposts are on the chopping block? And which rival firms might pick up the pieces?

Partners continue to depart Dewey & LeBoeuf. What's the latest news?

Dewey know how to do the partnership's taxes? Some D&L partners are confused by the updated K-1 tax forms issued to them by the firm. And, speaking of Dewey partners, defections continue....

Dewey need lifeboats? Partners continue to jump ship, as the firm tries to block the exits....