Discrimination

* GCs just keep getting raises. Some reports suggest compensation is up almost 7 percent this year. But don’t worry — they’ll still bitch and moan about Biglaw associates getting a small cost of living bump. [Corporate Counsel]

* If you haven’t been paying attention, William & Mary Law School has been on FIRE lately. No, literally, the school is on fire. Call 911. [WAVY 10]

* Seventh Circuit may soon rule en banc to ban sexual orientation bias. You know, until Congress and the President impeach the entire Seventh Circuit to bring it back. Wow that was an absurd sentence and yet it’s entirely plausible right now. [Law360]

* Kelley Drye enters the Texas market. [The Am Law Daily]

* Heroic big banks are demolishing patent trolls while everyone else continues to suffer, which sounds about right. [Law.com]

* China’s got a new cybersecurity law and it’s not good news for foreign businesses. [Fortune]

* But don’t worry, the U.S. is now just as intrusive with new rules taking effect today that allow judges to order broader government hacking for investigative fishing expeditions. So… yay! [Ars Technica]

* A debate between two British academics in honor of National Ukrainian Independence Day. [Debates.EU]

* Fascinating podcast with Professor Steve Drizin who heads up the legal team defending Making A Murderer’s Brendan Dassey. [Scalar Learning]

* You really don’t want a stressed out jury on your hands. [Law360]

* The University of Kentucky would rather sue its student newspaper than release documents about a professor accused of sexual assault. [Buzzfeed]

* Early retirement is probably not happening for law firm partners. [Law and More]

* The Title VII loopholes restaurants use to only hire pretty servers. [Jezebel]

* Scott Brown is denying Andrea Tantaros’ allegations that he sexually harassed her at Fox News. [Slate]

* Is law school worth the money? 1 percent of attorneys have high paying careers — you be the judge. [Investopedia]

* Analogizing law school to setting a track and field world record. [Tax Prof Blog]

* “If the LSAC is willing to include GRE scores in the [credential assembly services], then this may be an easy way for the LSAC to continue to certify the accuracy of standardized test scores reported to law schools.” In response to the tantrum LSAC threw over the future certification of LSAT scores, Educational Testing Service, the organization that administers the GRE, has offered to share its exam results with LSAC. [ABA Journal]

* “It is time for the ABA to catch up.” The hotly contested rule proposed by the American Bar Association that would make behavior “[a] lawyer knows or reasonably should know is harassment or discrimination” a form of professional misconduct was “resoundingly adopted” by the House of Delegates earlier this week. Well done, ABA. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Sorry, investment advisers, you make think it’s “unfair,” but according to a recent decision from a three-judge panel of the D.C. Circuit, the Securities and Exchange Commission’s controversial in-house courts are constitutionally sound because the agency’s ALJs don’t make “final” decisions on behalf of the SEC. [Big Law Business]

* Husch Blackwell, which completed a combination with Whyte Hirschboeck in the middle of last month, now not only has bragging rights on finalizing the largest law firm merger of 2016, but it can also claim to have one of the largest real estate practices in the entire country. Congratulations on all of your success! [Midwest Real Estate News]

* Who are eight of the most impressive graduates of Columbia Law School? Would you be surprised to learn that the list includes two former presidents, two Supreme Court justices (one of whom has a law school named after him), a U.S. Attorney General, and various political figures? If you’re interested, check out the list here. [Business Insider]

It’s not just the size of the business that a lawyer must bring, but also the lawyer’s size.

These allegations are stunning.

* So Sheppard Mullin was our only associate raise of yesterday. Well, that’s not technically true because there was another one overnight, but we don’t have that post up yet. So stay tuned! [Above the Law / 2016 Salary Increase]

* Jones Day sued over gender and pregnancy discrimination. Maybe this explains the firm’s reticence in raising salaries: it’s trying to build a record that it screws all its associates equally. [Law360]

* Jimmy Johns agrees to drop its ludicrous noncompete agreements as part of a settlement with the NYAG’s office. Finally, Subway and Quiznos can build that lateral market we always desperately needed. [CNBC]

* Did this GC lose her job over her Tweets? [Corporate Counsel]

* The American Constitution Society unveiled a study proving what we pretty much would have expected — judges are mostly white dudes. But the extent of the racial and gender disparity is astounding. [Gavel Gap]

* Texas Senator sues Dez Bryant. Is this finally something he can’t blame on the rest of the team? [Courthouse News Service]

* Interesting profile of Jodi Ettenberg, the world traveling food connoisseur former lawyer we’ve covered before. [Business Insider]

* A ray of light for Madonna as the Ninth Circuit hands her a victory in a long-running copyright infringement case, creating a circuit split in the process. [Billboard]

* The New York Court of Appeals overturns the $17.2 million award Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder earlier won against Cadwalader at summary judgment. Life’s hard for billionaires who beg regular people pay their bills for them. [Law360]

* Kirkland & Ellis plays hardball with departing partner, forcing him to repay a $120K bonus before walking out the door. [Legal Week]

* This is why we can’t have nice things. Literally. Intellectual property concerns threaten customizable goods. [Corporate Counsel]

* Texas AG Ken Paxton’s still gonna have to face those criminal fraud charges. [Courthouse News Service]

* Industry groups come out of the woodwork to challenge a Department of Labor rule requiring retirement advisors to act in the best interest of their customers. Crocodile tears abound as the groups claim they agree with the sentiment of the rule but just want the SEC to write it — knowing full well that the SEC isn’t going to write it. [Wall Street Journal]

* Add ABA President Paulette Brown to the list of people outraged that Donald Trump is criticizing a federal judge for, among other things, being of Mexican descent. [Law360]

* Irell gets sneaky in this copyright win over pre-1972 songs. [Litigation Daily]

Sorry, ladies, but your good looks aren't protected by the legal system.

This is a crucial test all lawyers and law students should take.

This law professor wants to put an end to North Carolina's bathroom law, so he's running for State Senate.

* If Justice Scalia had lived to July, he may have undone all of the advances of the Obama administration, which probably explains why the Republicans are so hard up about Merrick Garland’s nomination. [Slate]

* Feeling inspired by HBO’s Confirmation? Get the skinny on what it’s like to try a discrimination case. [Forensis Group]

* The Office of the Solicitor General has had quite the heavy workload this term. [Empirical SCOTUS]

* The Supreme Court won’t hear the Authors Guild appeal to the Second Circuit ruling in favor of Google for its book scanning project. [Techdirt]

* Gay republican confronts Ted Cruz over religious-freedom inspired laws. Let’s just say Cruz didn’t come off as a defender of LGBTQ rights. [Huffington Post]

* An illuminating interview with Wendy Davis, on what’s next following her defeat in the Texas Gubernatorial race. [Jezebel]

* St. Mary’s law professor David Grenardo on why the NCAA system is unfair, and as a former college football player, he knows what he is talking about. [San Antonio Express-News]

In 2015, diversity and inclusion were quite the buzzwords in the tech and legal industries; in 2016, can diversity and inclusion initiatives have a real, significant impact on the data in our profession?

* It’s official: Justice Clarence Thomas hasn’t asked a question during oral arguments at the Supreme Court in a decade. No other justice in history has ever done something like this, but Justice Thomas is “confident enough in his own skin not to care.” [MSNBC]

* Who would make a better SCOTUS justice, Judge Sri Srinivasan of the D.C. Circuit or U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York Preet Bharara? President Obama may be wondering when deciding whether to appoint the high court’s first Asian-American justice. [New York Daily News]

* Judge H. Russel Holland was presiding over the DOJ’s action against two allegedly discriminatory polygamous cities on the Utah-Arizona border when he was rushed away in an ambulance. He had a terrible case of bronchitis. Feel better, Your Honor! [AP]

* Gowlings, Canada’s second-largest firm, merged with UK-based Wragge Lawrence Graham to form an international firm with 1,400+ lawyers in 10 countries. Accept our cautionary congratulations, since layoffs usually follow mergers of this size. [Reuters]

* Aww, how cute! After working as a fully integrated firm for almost two years, Squire Patton Boggs has announced its first-ever merger with another firm. Welcome San Francisco-based firm Carroll Burdick & McDonough to the party. [Plain Dealer]

* Mayer Brown is relying on a lateral associate to help its Cuba practice shore up client relations on the island through all of her connections there, which have been described as “hot property.” She even got her own press release. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

What really happened when this partner left his firm?

Discrimination is not a ghost of the past, it is an issue that haunts our society today.

A new report from the Minority Corporate Counsel Association (MCCA) highlights the opportunity gaps faced by women of color.

* Daaaammmmn. Some serious shade as Greenberg Traurig CEO Richard Rosenbaum takes a swipe at Dentons. Video below the jump.

* Lamar Odom is still technically married to Khloe Kardashian, thereby giving his estranged wife authority when it comes to medical decisions. Good, because I think we were all hoping a man’s tragic health crisis could be fodder for May Sweeps. [Eonline]

* Linklaters is “internally crowdsourcing” to find a solution to provide a better work-life balance. Jesus. Bring on the necessary resources to cap any individual’s work week at 60 billable hours and move on. Anything less is just an invitation to rearrange deck chairs on the Titanic. [Law360]

* Looks like NPR’s hit podcast Serial is ready for a second season. [The Onion]

* Dewey think these deliberations will ever end? [The Am Law Daily]

* Ah, the life of in-house counsel: writing bitchy emails to customers telling them how stupid they are. [L.A. Times]

* Rand Paul explains how “liberty” works for gay people. [Gawker]

* Before joining a class action, make sure aren’t advertising your own criminal behavior to authorities. [Times-Picayune]

* And here’s that Greenberg Traurig-Dentons swipe. This strikes me as an ill-considered decision given that Dentons is known as a firm that doesn’t start fights, but sure as f**k ends them. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

The Houston nightclub at the center of a racist door policy controversy has issued a public statement and made the whole situation so, so much worse.

The parties have written the final chapter is this long-running saga.

* Police raided the home of Subway’s Jared Fogle. The media presumes the raid is linked to the ongoing investigation into a colleague of Fogle’s who may have aspired to introduce kids to his $5 footlong. [CNN]

* Sex addiction is not a defense at your disciplinary hearing. [Legal Profession Blog]

* Donald Trump sued Scotland. Apparently Prima Nocta hasn’t existed since Braveheart. [Lowering the Bar]

* An ode to Partner Emeritus. [What About Clients?]

* A legal secretary is suing Winston & Strawn pro se for discrimination. That should work well. [Cook County Record]

* If you’re attending the ABA Annual Meeting in a few weeks, swing by and see Lat, Judge Posner, Laura Caldwell, William Landay, and Talmage Boston talk about writing and the law. [American Bar Association]

* Defendant farts in open court. You’ll entirely believe what happens next. [The Lad Bible]