Divorce Train Wrecks

Bizarre strategy in Alex Jones case.

Is this the dumbest guy in the world?

* Duncan Lloyd, the Philadelphia assistant city solicitor who spray-painted “F*ck Trump” on a building while wearing an ascot and holding a glass of wine, will be able to keep his job after completing 40 hours of community service. We’re sure many Americans feel that he has already completed his community service through his actions. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, who took a leave of absence from Greenberg Traurig to support Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump through the end of the election, has removed his name from consideration for any position in President-elect Trump’s administration (but only after reportedly being offered three other positions that he didn’t want). He’ll now be returning to his law firm. [ABC News]

* The struggling European and Middle East arm of King & Wood Mallesons has received “a number of indicative purchase offers” from other law firms. Biglaw behemoth Dentons is rumored to be a potential merger partner for firm’s EUME branch, with DLA Piper and Greenberg Traurig ready to make lateral offers to partners. [Big Law Business]

* Just because your law school isn’t one of the best in the nation, it doesn’t mean that you can’t dream big. Case in point: The most recent winners of the prestigious Skadden public interest fellowships has been announced, and two of them will graduate from CUNY School of Law. We’ll have more on the new Skadden Fellows later. [Skadden]

* Dislike? A woman who wanted to serve her estranged husband with divorce papers via Facebook has been denied by a judge who noted that the social networking profile had been inactive for two-plus years, writing that to allow service would be “akin to the Court permitting service by nail and mail to a building that no longer exists.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* Brad Pitt filed a motion to seal the details of his custody arrangement with Angelia Jolie to protect his children’s privacy, but a judge has rejected the actor’s request. A lawyer for Jolie had this to say: “His … request is a thinly veiled attempt to shield himself, rather than the minor children, from public view.” Ouch. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* CHECK YOU EMAILS OFTEN, PARTNERS! Several Biglaw firms — including Cravath and Weil Gotshal — were hit by data breaches over the course of last year, and it’s now been confirmed that those data breaches were carried out by Chinese operatives who were successful in stealing about seven gigabytes of data by hacking their way into partners’ email accounts. [Fortune]

* Each December, Jeffrey Toobin creates a “semi-accurate, semi-serious” list of his predictions for the top legal stories for the coming year. Perhaps most notably, Toobin predicts President Donald Trump will appoint Judge Diane Sykes of the Seventh Circuit to the Supreme Court as the late Justice Antonin Scalia’s replacement. [New Yorker]

* Which is more prestigious, a judicial clerkship or a first-of-its-kind Capitol Hill clerkship? Earlier this week, four senators introduced a bill to create a dozen yearlong Congressional clerkships for recent law school graduates. The bill would allow law school graduates to “spend a formative year in the legislative branch.” [National Law Journal]

* Per the most recent Corporate Equity Index survey released by the Human Rights Campaign, more Biglaw firms are doing well when it comes to protecting their lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender employees. One hundred and twelve firms earned perfect scores for their inclusive policies in the survey, up from 95 last year. [Am Law Daily]

Was this viral tweet ripped off?

Divorces can get weird, man...

The latest developments in assisted reproductive technology ("ART") law.

Divorce is already emotional -- and the fight over a couple's not-yet-conceived children just adds more tension.

Arranged marriages, bigamy, gangland threats, overseas assassinations… this divorce has a lot of moving parts.

Divorce is getting ugly.

* In case you haven’t been keeping score like we have, these are the firms that recently raised salaries: Lowenstein Sandler and Venable (kind of). If you’re ever worried that you’ve missed any of our coverage on pay raises, you can check out our omnibus 2016 salary chart where we collect these stories. [2016 Salary Increase / Above the Law]

* “Imitation is NOT the most sincere form of flattery.” Not long after filing suit against Ivanka Trump on similar grounds, Aquazzura seeks to plant its dainty foot firmly up Steve Madden’s ass with a series of trade-dress infringement suits for what the Italian company alleges are knockoffs of some of its most popular shoe designs. [Observer]

* Will law school graduates be the next ones to have their student loans canceled? Thanks to the Department of Education’s proposal of an expanded debt forgiveness rule last week, law school graduates may be able to qualify for a “defense to repayment” provision — and escape their debt — if they can prove they were defrauded. [BuzzFeed]

* “I’m just not taking any chances with my legal profession. It’s very difficult to qualify as a solicitor and I’m not willing to just give it up because the U.K. decides to vote out the EU.” British attorneys specializing in antitrust law are registering as Irish solicitors for fear of losing their ability to practice EU law. Thanks, Brexit. [Big Law Business]

* Blank Rome is adding Stacy Phillips’s celebrity divorce boutique to its firm. Over the course of her career, Phillips has represented many “high-net-worth, high-end clients,” the likes of which include Britney Spears and Bobby Brown. With the addition of her small firm, Blank Rome’s family-law group will grow to 30 attorneys. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Amber Heard, who is going through a tumultuous divorce with Johnny Depp amid accusations that he abused her throughout the marriage, met with women’s rights attorney Gloria Allred last week. We wonder if the famed feminist lawyer will take the case after a four-hour consultation. [PEOPLE]

* Life just got a little more mellow at this firm: Florida-based Greenspoon Marder opened a cannabis and hemp practice group yesterday, opening offices in San Diego and Denver, and putting lawyers to work in Las Vegas. The firm won’t be puff-puff-passing up business from the marijuana industry anymore. [Big Law Business]

* Doctor-assisted suicide became just legal across the Great White North, but the government took so long to draft a law to go along with the Canadian Supreme Court’s ruling that the decision went into effect without any legislation to back it up. [CBS News]

* If you’re still thinking about applying to law school, here’s a surefire way to brownnose your way into the school of your choice: do yourself a favor and include school-specific details in your personal statement. Good luck! [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* How can you tell if you’re going to make big money after graduating from law school? First, take a look at the ATL Top 50 Law School Rankings to see how your employable graduates from your law school are, and then watch this video. [Business Insider]

It's not illegal to insult your ex-spouse.

This man has already spent $45,000+ in legal fees trying to get a divorce, needs a new attorney, and is fresh out of cash... so he decided to get creative.

A divorce battle between two Biglaw associates gets ugly -- very ugly.

* Baker & McKenzie was dethroned by DLA Piper as the the Biglaw king of gross revenue. The firm is blaming its poor performance — a 4.3 percent drop — on “currency fluctuations.” Better luck on snatching back glory next year. [Am Law Daily; Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* It’s hard out here for a pimp with an allegedly small peen: Terrence Howard’s divorce settlement was overturned by a judge after evidence was brought forward to suggest the actor was coerced into signing it. Apparently his ex was blackmailing him over the size of his manhood. [ABC News]

* There’s a new sheriff judge in town, and he’s cleaning up the Ferguson, Missouri, courts. His first order of business was to wipe out all arrest warrants issued before December 31, 2014, in the wake of the Michael Brown police shooting last August. [Reuters]

* Dean Philip Weiser of Colorado Law has announced that he’ll be stepping down from his position in July 2016. He’ll be remembered for keeping costs low and putting asses in seats during a time when it was difficult to do both concurrently. [Denver Business Journal]

* “On one level I give them kudos for playing hide the ball.” Gibson Dunn is fighting a subpoena issued by defense attorneys for computer metadata related to its Bridgegate report that cleared New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie of all wrongdoing. [Bergen Record]

Life is short. Get a divorce.

Dad is not always wrong.

* FYI, it may be a “nine-week job interview—for both sides,” but summer associates hardly have room to complain when they’re being wined, dined, and paid up to $3,000 per week to work at the Biglaw firms where they landed jobs. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]

* Hot take alert: Per our favorite (and sometimes controversial) blogging jurist, Richard Kopf of the District of Nebraska, “Senator Ted Cruz is not fit to be President” because he wants to allow voters to boot SCOTUS justices. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Maria Mitousis, the divorce lawyer who was seriously injured after a bomb allegedly mailed to her by a client’s ex-husband exploded in her office, says she’ll be back to work ASAP. Her hand got blown off and she still wants to bill. What’s your excuse? [CBC News]

* Former Galveston County (Texas) Court-at-Law Judge Christopher Dupuy was recently arrested and charged with two counts of online harassment after he allegedly created sex ads featuring his exes. He sounds like a real winner, y’all. [Crimesider / CBS News]

* This prospective law student got a 173 on the LSAT and wants to know whether it would be advisable to retake the exam. Are you actually kidding me with this? You’ll get in almost anywhere with a 173 and a pulse. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

Be careful out there, lawyers; we bet you didn't know your job could be so dangerous.