For those of you wondering where I’ve been the past few months, I took some time out to light my house on fire and fake my own death in court. It’s good to be back.
Unless you’ve been living in a volcano for 36 billion years, you’ve heard that Katie Holmes ascended the Bridge to Total Freedom last Friday by “blindsiding” Tom Cruise with divorce papers after five years of sham marriage. Bookies in Vegas no doubt saw this coming, given his marriage record and the fact that everyone claims to know someone who’s worked for him who says he’s totally gay. But unlike the rumors that dogged his last divorce (Nicole was apparently slated to receive a huge chunk of change under her prenup if they made it to ten years, so he divorced her after nine), this time the rumors center around Scientology…
Continue reading “Fame Brief: Katie Holmes Ascends the Bridge to Total Freedom”





Comment of the Week: Praise Be to Xenu
By Staci ZaretskyLuckily for us, Katie Holmes fell prey to the Curse of 33, and
“blindsighted”“blindsided” Tom Cruise with divorce papers, just in time for his 50th birthday. You’ve got to feel a little bad for the guy — his marriages all die quicker than Goose.So this week, we picked the winner from the TomKat divorce post. Hold on to your thetans, folks, because we’re about to ride into the danger zone….
Tags: Celebrities, Comment of the Day, Comment of the Week, Divorce Train Wrecks, Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise