Drinking

One is an outlier. A sad reminder of the legal profession’s struggle with alcoholism. Two is a curiosity. Perhaps a coincidence? But when three judges, all from the same court, get charged with DWI over the course of a mere six months, you’re looking at a trend.

Just this morning, the third judge in this trend was handcuffed and led away from the scene of an accident. In this case, the courtroom parking lot. That’s right, she’s accused of running over the gate to the lot and then ramming a parked sheriff’s car.

At 8:00 a.m.

There must have been an awesome special on mimosas at the local IHOP knockoff….

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It’s Friday, I’m in a good mood, my birthday is tomorrow, I don’t want to slam this law professor. Sure, sending out a school-wide email telling students to avoid “the college habit of celebrating your successes or failures by drinking” is ripe for mockery. But, I don’t know, it’s cute. He’s kind of trying to help. For some reason I’m imagining a professor who sounds like Elmo saying, “Elmo doesn’t like drinking to the point where he pees in his pants after assaulting a police officer. Hee-hee!”

I mean, the guy sent along the helpful “blood alcohol by weight” chart. Like, there are going to be law students who say, “You know, I didn’t realize that having three scotches in a hour might get me f**ked up….”

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As we’ve mentioned before in these pages, lawyers as a group are highly susceptible to addiction. The rate of alcoholism among lawyers may be twice as high as it is among the general population. If you think you or a colleague might have a substance abuse problem, try reaching out to a Lawyer Assistance Program for help.

Alcohol problems afflict the high and the low. As for the high, let’s tell you about a managing partner who needs to manage his drinking….

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* REMEMBER: The last day to vote for your favorite entry in our Law Revue contest is SUNDAY at 11:59 p.m.

* Okay, law students! How far would you go for silence in the library? [Legal Cheek]

* An attorney was suspended for two years for beating up girlfriend who he began dating while she was still a client. But the real punishment seems to be the extensive text message communications attached to the decision. It’s like a teacher making you read the note you were passing out loud in front of the whole class. Cringeworthy clinginess. [The Oklahoma State Courts Network]

* Lawyer’s alleged drunken air rage diverts a trans-Atlantic flight to Dublin. Because if you have a potentially quarrelsome drunk, dropping him off in Ireland is the right answer. [Irish Times]

* Aeropostale is suing H&M over the phrase, “Live Love Dream.” Maybe what they save on originality they pass along to the consumer. [Fashionista]

* This is how all trials should end. [Condé Nast Collection]

* The wrongfully accused — like the people bullied into pleading guilty to crimes they didn’t commit — are given a raw deal in more ways than one. [Policy Mic]

* Woman arrested after she called the crime lab posing as a court employee and tried to get her evidence destroyed. Well, it was worth a try. [The Times-Picayune]

* Mmm, the taste of money. Kirkland & Ellis and Ropes & Gray are assisting in TPG Capital’s $750M investment in Chobani, a Greek yogurt everyone (except me) absolutely loves. [Am Law Daily]

* A partner from the DebtStoppers law firm was arrested earlier this week after he was accused of refusing to pay a $950 bar tab. Well, we guess that’s one way to stop debt. [RedEye Chicago]

* The FBI raided an Ohio law firm this week, possibly in connection with a client’s murder outside its doors and one of its attorneys calling in a courthouse bomb threat. [Northeast Ohio Media Group]

* Canadian karma: As it turns out, graduates of the newly approved Trinity Western University Law School won’t be able to practice law in Ontario because of the school’s “abhorrent” anti-gay policies. [GlobalPost]

* Tony Buzbee, regent of the Texas A&M System, donated $1M to Texas A&M Law to fund the Johnny Football Endowed Chair. Okay, not really, but it’d be a lot cooler if he did. [Fort Worth Star-Telegram]

Lindsay Lohan

* Noah “Kai” Newkirk, the protestor who disrupted Supreme Court arguments in February, was sentenced to time served and barred from the court. Don’t worry, we’ll get you all the SCOTUS clerk news you need, cutie. [Associated Press]

* “There are still a lot of firms out there hoping the good old days are going to return, and are finally coming to the realization that that isn’t going to happen.” More on Biglaw layoffs. [Am Law Daily]

* Yet another law school gets its rating downgraded by Moody’s. As a standalone school with “substantial declines in JD enrollment,” Vermont Law’s outlook is now negative. Sad trombone. [Moody's]

* Jason Bohn, the heavily indebted law school grad once profiled by the New York Times, was convicted of murdering his girlfriend last month, and now he’s been sentenced to serve life in prison. [New York Post]

* “Is the Tax Code really 70,000 pages long?” No, not really. We wonder who started the rumor that it was so long, because in reality, it’s only about 2,600 pages long — which is still way, way too long. [Slate]

* It appears that the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree with this celebrity family. Lindsay Lohan’s mother, Dina Lohan, pleaded guilty yesterday to drunken driving and speeding charges in New York. [CNN]

Thanks again to everyone who came out to the ATL/Kaplan Bar Prep trivia night in D.C. last week! Students from all across the Washington area descended on The Bier Baron to vie for honor and technological goodies provided by our sponsors from Kaplan Bar Review. Oh, and even those who couldn’t succeed at trivia still got free food and some booze, because a trivia night is never a total loss.

If you’re a law student wondering when we’ll make it to your town, be patient. I know of a couple of locations we’re planning to hit in the next few months.

So let’s recap our D.C. extravaganza and check out some pictures of the action…

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He hit random keys or wrote, ‘I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job,’ over and over.

– An anonymous source describing stenographer Daniel Kochanski’s “bizarre antics” during numerous trials, which have caused judges to hold reconstruction hearings to repair the record in many cases.

(There’s much more to this story, so keep reading to see what happened.)

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* The shaming of Professor Rene Reich-Graefe continues, with Steven Harper weighing in. Law professors… so many people are onto your game of creating rosy scenarios to dupe prospective law students. Maybe you could spend more time trying to fix the problem in legal education, and a little less time trying to hide it? [Belly of the Beast]

* I enjoy reminding subway performers that their career choices are illegal. [Above the Law: Redline]

* Can’t Jack Daniels, Johnny Walker, and Jim Beam settle their differences over a beer? [Wall Street Journal]

* I only hope Northwestern’s law students have as much legal success as Northwestern’s football students. [Deadspin]

* The ABA wants comment on whether for-credit externships can also be paid. [Faculty Lounge]

* I miss Kash. I hate drones. [Forbes]

* This isn’t a legal link. There’s no legal standard regarding gender specific displays of pubic hair. There’s just a double standard. [Fashionista]

Monica Marie Jenkins

I’m not worried anymore; give me some cocaine.

– Los Angeles County public defender Monica Marie Jenkins, in a statement allegedly made to police officers shortly after she was arrested on drunk-in-public, assault, and battery charges at the San Francisco International Airport. Jenkins was not permitted to board a flight due to her drunken state, and as police attempted to escort her from the gate, she allegedly began to kick at them and scream profanities, threatening to sue them. Soon after she arrived at San Mateo County Jail, she allegedly tried to bite a nurse. Jenkins pleaded not guilty to the charges.

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