Drinking

Are there lots of people in law school who are under 21? Are there lots of people in law school who can’t give legal consent for taking out hundreds of thousands in student loan money? Are there lots of people in law school who should have to ask for a hall pass before they go take a leak? Not many? Then maybe law students should be allowed to congregate and have a freaking beer without the administration threatening them with sanctions. Maybe the law school’s policies regarding alcohol at student functions should be a little bit different than the policy of the undergraduate school. Maybe a group of legal educators should be able to DISTINGUISH between a law student and a college freshman.

A law school has come up with a set of embarrassing and ludicrous alcohol-related policies, and now it’s threatening students who try to work around them…

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Wooooo, law school!

For some people, law school is like College 2.0. They figure that if they have to spend three years hunkering down and learning law, they should at least be using all of their free time to hone their drinking skills to perfection. Why not, right?

As we know, law students of every stripe — from those hailing from “rank not published” institutions to those covered entirely in Ivy — are competitive as hell. If they’re going to be drinking a lot, they might as well try to turn that hobby into a sport.

It turns out that one law school’s students are so good at drinking that they just won a nationwide competition. Which T14 law school are we talking about? You might be surprised….

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Alexandra Marchuk

“Discovery is going to be FUN in this case.” That’s what we previously predicted about Marchuk v. Faruqi & Faruqi, the high-profile lawsuit filed by plaintiff Alexandra Marchuk against her former firm and one of its most prominent partners, Juan Monteverde.

Why did we expect fireworks from discovery? Because of the lurid nature of Marchuk’s allegations, including severe sexual harassment and (effectively) sexual assault, and because of the Faruqi firm’s aggressive response, which included suing Marchuk for defamation and claiming that it was Marchuk who was obsessed with Monteverde.

But it wasn’t just another “he said, she said” type of situation. Both sides claimed that third-party witnesses and contemporaneous documents would corroborate their respective and conflicting accounts.

Discovery is now underway in the case. Witnesses have been deposed, and documents have been produced. What kind of portrait do they paint?

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UPDATE (2/13/2014, 11 a.m.): Due to weather conditions and safety concerns, this event is being postponed to a future date. Thanks for your patience and understanding.

Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching, and this year, instead of whispering sweet nothings to those documents yet to be reviewed, you should consider stopping by the Above the Law Valentine’s Day Party in New York City, sponsored by the Business Law Center on WestlawNext™ from Thomson Reuters. It’s being held on Thursday, February 13th, so you’ll have plenty of time to feast on conversation hearts in your lonely office on Cupid’s birthday.

Register using the form below, and we’ll send you an email with the exact time and location of our three-hour open bar.

If you can’t attend or aren’t in the NYC area, you can still register to win one of two grand prize swag bags filled with everything you could possibly need to make this Valentine’s Day a memorable one (awesome things like Russell Stover chocolates, ATL and Business Law Center t-shirts, and an iPad Mini).

Love is in the air, and we hope to see you there!

When I got to law school, I thought it would be “College II.” I was good at college. I had figured out how to drink the maximum amount while doing the least amount of work without hurting my transcript.

I don’t mean the sad, old-man drinking that you do in your basement while telling your wife you’re changing a light bulb to get five minutes of blessed peace. I mean the exciting, outside drinking. With friends, and games. In college, I engaged in drinking as a sport, instead of drinking as a medication.

In retrospect, that line between college drinking and adult drinking was crossed sometime during law school. I didn’t recognize it at the time. I played a lot of beer pong in law school and even as an associate. But really, the innocence of drinking “for fun” was lost in law school, and replaced by drinking “professionally.”

And so I look at this “challenge map” for a bar crawl at a respected law school — the bawdy, ridiculous, tempting-the-fates-of-alcohol-poisoning bar crawl challenge — and I think, “Don’t these kids know that they’re already dead?”

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* Once again, a group is about to learn that “not being able to do whatever you want, whenever you want” is not really a Constitutional violation. This time it’s snowboarders. [St. Louis Tribune]

* Justice Scalia’s snarky lesson in public speaking 101 continues to divide commentators. [The Blog of the Legal Times]

* Former Dallas Cowboys defensive tackle Josh Brent’s manslaughter trial kicked off with his attorney explaining that Brent was “guilty of being stupid behind the wheel of a car,” but not driving drunk. The toxicology expert disagreed, estimating that Brent needed about 17 drinks to reach the blood alcohol level of his blood samples. [The Expert Institute]

* Young lawyers should figure out what they want to specialize in before they find themselves looking to “open a vein.” [At Counsel Table]

* Judge Tracie Hunter may be facing a possible 14 year sentence, but she maintains her innocence. I could try to recap this story, but just read this instead. [Cincinnati.com]

UPDATE (2/13/2014, 11 a.m.): Due to weather conditions and safety concerns, this event is being postponed to a future date. Thanks for your patience and understanding.

Valentine’s Day is less than a month away, which means it’s time to either Get Serious with the person you’ve been seeing once a week for two months or start the Slow Fade.

If both those options sound… unpalatable, here’s another idea:

Stop by the Above the Law Valentine’s Day Party in NYC, sponsored by the new Business Law Center on Westlaw Next™ from Thomson Reuters. Come for the three-hour open bar, the Thomson Reuters-branded M&Ms, and cool door prizes. Stay for the awkward mingling.

Don’t worry, it’s being held on Thursday, February 13th, so you’ll still have time for disappointment and prix fixe dinner on the 14th.

Register in the form below, and we’ll send you an email with the exact time and location.

If you can’t attend or aren’t in the NYC area, you can still register to win one of two Platinum Deluxe Elite Grand Prize Swag Bags. These Swag Bags include everything you need to make this Valentine’s Day a memorable one, i.e., Russell Stover chocolates, ATL and Business Law Center burnout t-shirts that you will only wear as pajamas, and an iPad Mini. Boom.

We hope to see you at the party!

[T]he defendant’s practice basically consisted of him showing up at the office every now and again to do a closing and then leaving to go drinking or sleep with his paralegal. You can’t do $33 million in business in real estate closings if that’s what your practice consists of.

– Rhode Island Assistant Attorney General Ron Gendron, commenting on former state Sen. Patrick Timothy McDonald’s conviction for conspiring with his paralegal and sometimes mistress, Kimberly Porter, to embezzle more than $160,000 from his real estate clients.

We’ve talked about Dave Chappelle’s classic When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong, the routine where some poor schlub decides to stand up for themselves and ends up making things much, much worse. Attorneys fall into this trap less often than the average American, but when they do, the results are always over-the-top.

And today’s story is no exception. On New Year’s Day, a personal injury attorney allegedly took things too far after another man made a mildly flirty joke. The attorney then faced a choice: he could exhibit a vague sense of humor, or he could keep it real. With a steak knife.

You know where this is going…

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Nadya Suleman aka Octomom

* Robert Wilkins was confirmed to the D.C. Circuit yesterday, which is significant because it marks the first time in decades that the court hasn’t had any judicial vacancies. Congrats! [Blog of Legal Times]

* Biglaw firms should be happy to hear about what the Citi Private Bank’s Law Firm Group has seen in its crystal ball: law firm profits are expected to grow by about 5 percent this year. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Unlike its stinky burger fiasco, Steptoe & Johnson managed to quietly converse with “three or four” firms about a possible merger, but the firm’s chairman refuses to kiss and tell. [National Law Journal]

* Take criminal disclosures on your law school apps seriously — after all, someone needs to worry about whether you’ll be able to pass C&F, and it won’t be your school if they just want your money. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* Recent law grads working at the Chicago Justice Entrepreneurs Project might not be “rolling in money,” but they’re learning how be successful lawyers, and experience like that is worth millions. [Businessweek]

* The Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau, “a regulator that protects its industry from rules it deems unfair,” wants a list of all alcohol, everywhere. Treasury Department party! [DealBook / New York Times]

* Nadya Suleman, she of the clown car uterus, was charged with welfare fraud for failure to report income from her strip club appearances and porn videos. She’s the Octomother of the year. [CBS Los Angeles]

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