DUI

The Internet naturally devolves to Hitler references. Call it Godwin’s Law. Call it reductio ad hitlerum if you’re into the whole unnecessary use of Latin thing (and you’re lawyers, so you totally are). But with the advent of the Internet, Downfall video became inevitable.

And with bored lawyers seeking Internet-based distractions at their desks (or law library carrels), the legal Downfall video was even more inevitable.

Above the Law has linked to some of these before (for example here and here), but I figured I’d treat the readers to a collection of some of the finer videos here as part of my role as the editor covering the tech beat.

If you have others, link them in the comments. I’m sure someone out there in the middle of a two-week document review somewhere will appreciate it….

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Friends, this is a fun one.

Not just because a DUI attorney was arrested for a DUI — potentially his third DUI. That story would be cool, but a little trite.

No, what makes this story particularly fun is that the attorney was apprehended by a passing motorist as he allegedly tried to flee the scene of an accident. The Good Samaritan motorist got out of his car and chased down our attorney on foot, all while wearing flip-flops.

Oh, and I should mention that this particular DUI attorney has a YouTube ad where he doesn’t “speak,” but has some scary music, pictures, and a screen shot of his bio.

Yeah, this is a fun one….

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Today, we’ve got a tale for our readers about a lawyer from upstate New York who seems to be the epitome of a DUI defense lawyer’s worst nightmare. As the old saying goes, “the third time’s the charm,” but apparently when it comes to this guy and allegations of drinking and driving, the third time’s when you get caught with an alleged prostitute in your car.

Did we mention that the accused prostitute once starred in a reality television show, Wife Swap? That’s certainly not going to help this fellow keep the allegations under wraps….

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Maybe law schools should be more like strip clubs?

There’s been an interesting lawsuit filed in Florida. The father of a woman killed by an allegedly drunk driving law student (who also died in the crash) is suing the driver’s law school for allowing the kid to get liquored up at the school’s “Barrister’s Ball.”

We’ve done a fair amount of stories about drunken shenanigans taking place at these Barrister’s Balls (or law school proms) at law schools across the country. It really makes for a perfect Above the Law story: take booze, add law students, mix with camera phones, and the thing writes itself.

But usually people don’t end up dead. The only thing a Barrister’s Ball is supposed to kill is your Google footprint. Then again, usually there isn’t a (cough, cough) intervening cause between the Ball and the ride home…

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There are many ways that lawyers can advertise their services to the general public, such as television commercials and print ads in the telephone book. But entertaining lawyer billboards are a favorite of ours; they have generated excellent material for some of Above the Law’s own caption contests.

Apparently they’re also great fodder for marriage proposals, as one Texan proved this past weekend….

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* Who needs a Declaration of Internet Freedom when the government supports protesting citizens who go buckwild in the streets? The European Union voted against ratification of the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement. [Associated Press]

* Kenneth Schneider, the former Debevoise & Plimpton associate serving a 15-year sentence for forcing a Russian teenager to be his sex slave, was suspended from practice pending further disciplinary proceedings. [New York Law Journal]

* Glenn Mulcaire, the investigator who intercepted voicemail messages on behalf of News of the World, lost a bid to remain silent about who commissioned his services. Rupert’s gonna be sooo pissed. [New York Times]

* Congratulations to the team from the University of Chicago Law School that won the United States Supreme Court Prediction Competition. They won $5K for betting on their Con Law nerd-dom. [SCOTUS Competition]

* Judge Kenneth Lester Jr. is expected to rule on George Zimmerman’s motion for bond today, and perhaps he won’t be so quick to forget that the defendant already lied to the court to get out of jail. [Orlando Sentinel]

* “You can’t just arbitrarily add anything you want to a sentence.” Well, it looks like you can, because in addition to jail time, a judge in South Carolina tacked on a Biblical book report to this woman’s sentence. [Daily Mail]

Happy Fourth of July week. If you’re like me and didn’t take vacation this week, I hope you enjoy not being hassled and shopping online. If you live in D.C., I hope you are appreciating your nice, employer-provided air conditioning.

Seeing as it’s almost America’s birthday, I’m saddened to have to tell you that our president has had to withdraw his nominee to be the next ambassador to the Netherlands. I know, it’s a terrible blow, please consult with a grief counselor if you are having trouble dealing with this news.

President Obama’s nominee for this distinguished post withdrew from consideration after he was charged that most American of crimes: getting liquored up, driving around, and allegedly resisting arrest.

That’s a party in the U.S.A. It’s definitely not a Netherlands party.

And I did I mention that our guy is a Biglaw partner?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Arrested for DUI Like Yeah. Ruining My Career Like Yeah.”

* And then Reagan said, “Take this, all of you, and drink from it: for this is the chalice of my blood, the blood of the new and eternal covenant, which will be auctioned off for you, by PFC Auctions, right after I sign this legislation outlawing Russia forever.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* It’s time for another “If Ruth Bader Ginsburg Dies, I’m Gonna Kill Her” article. Man, you never know. Ginsburg could end up out living Antonin Scalia with the right mix of ham sandwiches and cybernetic technology. [Daily Beast]

* Will being hot help this cop who was arrested for driving while drunk when she was on duty? Honestly, I’ve forgotten what she’s accused of already. [Explorer News]

* A new definition of piracy could cause any man who loves the freedom of the sea, the rolling of the surf, and the bounty of unprotected U.S. cargo ships to be branded a pirate. [CBS News]

* Every Harvard student tries to identify the Ted Kaczynski of their class. [Huffington Post]

* How to protect your iProducts at the beach this weekend. We wouldn’t want you to be without Above the Law. [Legal Blog Watch]

Nice mug shot! Happy Friday the 13th!

* A legal threat goes viral: if you’ve been living under a rock, Epstein Becker & Green is repping Fox News in any legal action brought against Gawker for the “Fox Mole.” [New York Observer]

* Jerry Sandusky’s motion to dismiss his child sexual abuse charges have been denied. And the fact that he thought this would get him off is funny on its own. [New York Daily News]

* When shouldn’t you flash an expired DA’s ID card at the cops? During a DUI stop. She can always use the “celeb angels and demons made me do it” defense. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

* New York City’s first female commissioner of the Department of Information Technology is leaving her job to milk the New York Law School cash cow. [Wall Street Journal]

* Law schools are snatching up old ass buildings left and right to house new programs and clinics. Looks like upcoming episodes of “Flip This House” will be brought to you by overpriced tuition. [National Law Journal]

* Yeah buddy! Apparently acting like a drunken idiot in Sleazeside pays off. A lawsuit has revealed Jersey Shore star DJ Pauly D’s salary per episode, and it rivals a Biglaw starting salary. [The Clicker / MSNBC]

Amanda Bynes

* With help from Fenwick & West, Facebook snatched up Instagram in a $1B deal that closed in just 54 hours. That’s a big accomplishment, but the bigger one was valuing a company that helps f**k up your photos at such a high price. [Am Law Daily]

* Senator Dick Durbin is trying to collect stories about soul-crushing law school debt in an effort to reform lending laws, but law students and new lawyers aren’t speaking up about the problem. Hey, Dick, it’s time to start reading Above the Law. [National Law Journal]

* Apparently sarcasm is lost upon mention of George Zimmerman, so let’s play this one straight. The man who shot and killed Trayvon Martin has set up a website to solicit money for his defense fund. Actually, that’s a pretty great punchline on its own. [MSNBC]

* A judge has refused to reduce accused “Millionaire Madam” Anna Gristina’s $2M bail. With her alleged clientele, you’d think she’d be able to afford it. Come on, John Edwards gets $400 haircuts. He’s probably willing to pay top dollar for his call girls. [Bloomberg]

* Amanda Bynes wasn’t drunk on alcohol, she was drunk on emotions, claims her daddy. That’s a defense that will totally stand up in court on a DUI charge. [New York Daily News]

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