Energy

* For all you surprised by LeBron James, let me remind you: Cleveland is all about two non-consecutive stints. [Wikipedia] * Speaking of basketball, Mitchell Epner takes his talents to CNBC to breakdown the 5 things he learned during the first week of the Donald Sterling trial. [CNBC] * Who is the Litigator of the Week, per Litigation Daily? It’s Daniel Gitner of Lankler Siffert & Wohl because he became the first lawyer to beat the S.D.N.Y. U.S.A.O. in an insider trading case. Also because he’s awesome. Pardon me while I put on my LSW shirt. [The Litigation Daily (sub. req.)] * Hey! Take a second to take our latest law firm survey. We really want your feedback on your perception. [Above the Law] * “5 Reasons the Sleeping Yankees Fan’s Lawyer Should Be Disbarred.” Fair enough. [Internet on Trial] * Will the EPA’s latest carbon rule survive judicial challenge? I would have said “no” but after Homer City… [Breaking Energy] * Do blondes make more money? I guess that’s the trade-off with being the focus of revenge porn. [The Careerist / American Lawyer] * Aereo is back. Sort of. [Comm Law Blog] * A former Patton partner lost his new job at Pillsbury over the Chevron case. Could anybody have suffered more over this case? Oh, right, all the Ecuadorians. [Legal Times] * While you weren’t looking, even fewer people took the LSAT. Obviously. [LSAC]

* Mitchell Epner breaks down the Donald Sterling trial, which kicked off today. Or “tipped off” today. [CNBC] * Judge Kopf reviews Keith Lee’s The Marble and the Sculptor. Keith can take heart that His Honor didn’t tell him to STFU. [Hercules and the Umpire] * MoloLamken offers its comprehensive review of the Supreme Court’s recently concluded adventures from the perspective of businesses. Spoiler alert: businesses did really, really well. [MoloLamken] * Former seminary dean lied about his religious background and then tried to sue the guy who called him out on it. Benchslapping ensued in a fee decision: “Plaintiff’s sparse trickle of written argument gave way at the hearing to an overflow of objectively unreasonable claims…. Plaintiff either cast unsupported aspersions or asserted boldfaced contradictions, adopting whatever narrative best served him at the time.” In fairness, those sound like they might be assets in organized religion. [Religion Posts] * If you want to know what’s up in the energy sector, Breaking Energy now has a “Law Firms Perspective” feed. [Breaking Energy] * Discretion is the better part of valor: gamblers turned down around $1.5 million payout to sue casino for illegal detention… and then lost. [ATL Redline] * I’ve said before that I find the concept of legal tattoos fascinating. This one is incredibly meta….

Isn't the Houston legal market exciting?

* Abraham Lincoln was a harder working lawyer than you are. [Abraham Lincoln's Almanac Trial] * Quentin Tarantino has given up the ghost and dropped his suit against Gawker over The Hateful Eight. [The Escapist] * The people who made stupid toe shoes have settled a big class action. [Deadspin] * Judge Posner and Justice Scalia haven’t had a public fight in a while. So this lawyer is trying to stir one up. Thanks, buddy! [Legal Times] * Colorado’s energy industry is suing municipalities creating a patchwork of fracking regulation. As the author notes, “for a state that has boldly snubbed federal law on marijuana policy, such arguments sound a bit hollow.” [Breaking Energy] * Stop calling on Justice Ginsburg to retire… it’s probably too late for Obama to nominate a replacement anyway. [New Republic] * Lawyer writes threatening letter to customer who wrote a negative review on Amazon. [Ars Technica] * Our tipster put it best, “New Show on Bravo: ‘Lowering the NJ Bar.’” [The Star-Ledger] * A young solicitor known as Mr. Kelly was inspired to release a rap album about how much he hated his training job at a top 10 global firm. His video after the jump…. [Legal Cheek]

* People are shocked — shocked! — to learn that L.A. Clippers owner and Southwestern Law grad Donald Sterling may just be racist. Where were all you people the last 30 years he’s been in the limelight? I guess this is what happens when the Lakers stop being good. At least they’re in good company, the NAACP didn’t seem to pay attention to the red flags either. [Business Insider] * Bringing “blame the victim” to sickening new levels. A playwright is suing actress Valerie Harper for $2 million for having the audacity not to mention her cancer. [NY Daily News] * Oh, no, wait. This is bringing “blame the victim” to sickening new levels. [Huffington Post] * Liquid Natural Gas exports are tied down in the FERC approval process. Pesky lawyers. [Breaking Energy] * Louis Althusser’s On The Reproduction Of Capitalism argues that “all law is by essence, in the last instance, inegalitarian and bourgeois.” And he doesn’t even know about the cruise ship we rented out for a partner meeting to discuss our offices in that “country” of Africa [Critical-Theory] * Keeping your cool is a lot easier from your computer than out in the field. [Katz Justice] * The Supreme Court may have decided not to rule on whether juries can be non-unanimous, but they will spend their time figuring out if fish are “informational items.” Good job. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

Litigation strategy goes poof.

How did the 200 largest law firms in the country apportion their new partners among practice areas?

* Another lawyer is going on The Bachelor! This time it’s Andi (pictured), a Wake Forest Law grad who is described as a federal prosecutor (though other sources say she works at the district attorney’s office). She says she got a murder conviction in 8 minutes, which is impressive for someone who graduated last year. Like, hard-to-believe impressive. Well, now she’ll be trading in all that self-respect for roses and 15 minutes of reality TV fame. [Huffington Post] * The law of underground trespassing — when drilling sends contaminants into neighboring land. “I poison your milkshake. I poison it up!” [Breaking Energy] * At least a couple readers have had a bad exam experience already this term. Here’s how to deal with it. The advice is pretty good except for advising you to avoid alcohol. Alcohol is always the answer. [Law School Toolbox] * It’s time to start making moves to improve your long-term quality of life. [Law and More] * Kevin Underhill of Lowering the Bar has a new book about all the stupid laws on the books out there. It’s called The Emergency Sasquatch Ordinance. [Lowering the Bar] * When you hear about the similarities between Obamacare and the Heritage Foundation plan from the old days, recognize you’re getting spun. [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * Trying to balance out religious symbols in public spaces for the holidays is dumb. All you need is the Festivus pole. Lest you forget the story of Festivus, there’s a video embedded beyond the jump…. [PrawfsBlawg]

What does Steven Donziger have to say for himself in his civil RICO trial?

* The shutdown has shuttered the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. I’m not really comfortable living without those regulators. [Breaking Energy] * Don’t bother Goldman Sachs’s general counsel with your silly little questions [Dealbreaker] * The decisions you make in your twenties are rarely life-threatening. So get out there and make some atrocious life-decisions, kids! [Legal Cheek] * Lawyer sent to prison for plotting to help a client hide jewels. That sounds way dirtier than it is. [ABA Journal] * In scary news, Adrian Peterson’s 2-year-old son was brutally beaten. [TMZ] * In case you missed our round-up, here are ten more highlights from a recent interview with Justice Scalia. He’s apparently a big Duck Dynasty fan, which explains a lot. Video embedded after the jump… [Bloomberg Law via YouTube]

* A lawyer fresh out of law school botched a domestic violence case by gushing all over Tom Hanks… who was serving as a juror. Which, in fairness, was awfully Big of him. [TMZ] * Federal prosecutors are seeking at least 27 years in prison for a Massachusetts man who authorities say plotted to kill and eat his children based on a search of his home and car, which is presumably a Saturn. As one law professor observed, “Perhaps the lawyer will make a free exercise argument and claim that eating children is a requirement of his religion.” [CNN] * If you’re going to drink and drive, be sure to toss a few back with the judge first. [KVUE] * A criminal defense lawyer who begins every cross by making the cop look more humane and respectable. I thought the public defender from My Cousin Vinny was the lowest criminal defense could go in the comical incompetence department. [Katz Justice] * Putin crony claims 100 percent of profits in a “public” oil company by flat ignoring minority shareholders. Shhhh! Stop giving Exxon ideas. [Breaking Energy] * Elizabeth Wurtzel knows music (a subject she covered for the New Yorker for New York Magazine). In this article, she writes about The Replacements (something Wurtzel has made her past employers, including Boies Schiller, become familiar with). [The Daily Beast] * On Monday, the American Constitution Society will host a preview of the upcoming Supreme Court session. Panelists include Pamela Harris, Randy Barnett, Joshua Civin, Andrew Pincus, and David Strauss. [American Constitution Society] * Then next Tuesday, The Cato Institute’s Center for Constitutional Studies will host a symposium titled “The Supreme Court: Past and Prologue: A Look at the October 2012 and 2013 Terms.” Panelists include Tom Goldstein, Marcia Coyle, and Howard Bashman. [How Appealing]

* The Mars Curiosity rover played “Happy Birthday to You” to itself on the first anniversary of its landing on the Red Planet. It takes about 13 minutes for transmissions from Mars to reach the Earth. Time Warner sued NASA 14 minutes after Curiosity’s performance. [io9] * Fans of the Colorado Rockies… fans? Huh, okay! Anyway, the case posits that Rockies ticket holders should be allowed to sell them on the secondary market. If they can’t unload Rockies tickets, they may be forced to watch a team 11 games out of first place flounder. [Forbes] * Paul Rampell, Donald Trump’s lawyer, advocates for replacing marriages with leases with defined terms. It gives new meaning to “trading in for a new model.” The thrice married Trump nods approvingly. [Washington Post] * The Rumpus interviews Dean Frank H. Wu of UC Hastings. Turns out he’s writing “a bad trashy novel.” So it probably won’t make the 25 Greatest Law Novels ever list. But then again, they put The Fountainhead on that list, so don’t give up hope, Dean Wu! [The Rumpus] * Poetry Corner: Kenneth Branagh Prepares Evidence For Trial. So long as he’s not preparing to direct another awful Thor movie, I’m fine. [Poetic Justice] * Just what do Americans even want from an energy policy? That Cuisinart fusion reactor from Back to the Future, that’s what. [Breaking Energy] * A defendant called a judge “Hon,” and it did not go well. I wonder what Judge Montes gets called at the club? [Sun Sentinel] * Anthony Weiner once explained that he was “inspired” by a book about a lawyer who wants to cheat on his wife. Indeed. [BuzzFeed]

* J.K. Rowling’s outing as The Cuckoo’s Calling (affiliate link) author Robert Galbraith has rendered print copies of the book scarce and a hot collector’s item. Now Rowling is hurling Cruciatus curses at her lawyers as the source of the revelation. [The Guardian] * The New York Times weighs in on the worth of a law degree debate and makes Elie’s day by labeling him “indomitable.” [DealBook / New York Times] * After the Ninth Circuit struck a tone of sanity, federal bankruptcy judges in Michigan and Tennessee remind us that law school debt is forever. [The National Law Journal] * The hottest barristers in London. Meh. Holding out for the hottest solicitors countdown. [Legal Cheek] * A lawyer should get suspended for smuggling stuff out of prison for a client. But shouldn’t the punishment be a tad more severe for smuggling a HIT LIST out of prison for a client? [Mercury News] * The Ten Competencies that law schools should teach. I’d add “understanding how to order from Seamless at 4AM,” but otherwise it’s a solid list. [Associate's Mind] * Penn State has approved a $60 million settlement in the Sandusky cases. Which is less than the football program makes in a year. [Deadspin] * Apparently, the laws and other conditions surrounding America’s oil industry make it only the fifth friendliest place to extract petroleum in the world. Thanks a bunch you granola-eating socialists. [Breaking Energy] * It’s not over yet, but the current projection for law school applicants this year is 59,200. My response to those fresh young go-getters after the jump…

* Ed O’Bannon asks the NCAA to agree in writing not to retaliate against any current athlete that joins his lawsuit against the organization. How sad is it that a non-profit organization committed to helping students needs to be reminded not to retaliate against students? In other news, NCAA Football 14 (affiliate link) came out today. [USA Today] * More SCOTUS Term analysis. Tom Goldstein, Adam Liptak, and Jess Bravin have been invited to explain to the Heritage Foundation what an awesome term it had. [Heritage] * The Shelby County decision completely lacks any foundation for the argument that the Voting Rights Act violates the Constitution. Yeah, but besides that… [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * What is wrong with soccer fans? Referee stabs player and then ends up like Ned Stark. [Legal Juice] * Mayer Brown reports that Mexican leaders are lining up behind energy sector reform. [Breaking Energy] * Ever wonder about the extent of Internet censorship around the world? Here’s a handy chart showing how Google is censored in various countries around the world. [io9] * Obama caves to Republican requests to suspend law. Republicans label Obama tyrannical for suspending that law. Bravo. [Wall Street Journal]

It's been a busy two weeks of back-biting and accusations in this office.

* The new meme sweeping the Intertubes is “Old Economy Steve.” While not strictly law-related, it is a fitting meme for trolling recent law school grads entering the market. [The Atlantic] * After talking about the Atlanta battle of the (legal) bands, we learned that San Francisco is also getting into the act. [Law Rocks] * Speculating on George Washington’s approach to drone strikes. [Washington Times] * A look at how regulatory and tax policy changes affect the value of energy companies. [Breaking Energy] * E. Gordon Gee, Columbia Law ’71 and President of THE Ohio State University got in a little trouble for saying, “You tell the SEC when they can learn to read and write, then they can figure out what we’re doing.” So another guy gets in trouble for being honest. Gee also said that you can’t trust Catholic priests, which segues nicely into the next item. [Yahoo! Sports] * The Catholic Church’s top exorcist claims to have performed 160,000 exorcisms. After the jump, Professor Mark Kightlinger from the University of Kentucky College of Law eviscerates this claim with “math.” “Assuming he was ordained at the age of 21, he would have had to perform 2388 exorcisms per year for the past 67 years. That is more than 6.5 exorcisms per day every day (not taking into account the occasional leap year with an extra day). Perhaps he is just a really fast exorcist. Or perhaps he does mass exorcisms. I don’t have a view about how many demons might be out there but I am skeptical about whether one guy could cast out so many. Perhaps he needs to go back to the books and read about pride.” – Mark Kightlinger

* America, you won’t have Michele Bachmann to kick around anymore! The political equivalent of comic relief announced that she will not seek another term. [CNN] * Eric Holder testified that he would support reform of the ECPA. Apparently this newfound love of electronic privacy doesn’t extend to the Associated Press. [IT-Lex] * Atlanta is soon to host its Battle of the (Lawyer) Bands. LawJam 2013 is set to rock Atlanta like a litigious hurricane on June 8. Last year featured bands like Mikey Mel & the JDs, so you have a sense of what you’re getting here. [Atlanta Bar Association] * The CFTC had no idea how to do its job? Say it ain’t so! [Breaking Energy] * So the sequester has an advantage! Cocaine is going to get cheaper! [Breaking Defense] * Paul Caron has acquired a 100 percent ownership share of the Law Professor Blogs Network. Congrats! [TaxProf Blog] * Woman acquitted of manslaughter responds in the best way ever. Video after the jump… [WESH via Bing]

* NY Attorney General investigating fast food restaurants for shorting their employees. This is a worthwhile cause, but what he should be looking into is who ate the bones? [CNN] * Two more law schools, University of Mary Hardin-Baylor and York College of Pennsylvania admit they gave false information to U.S. News resulting in better rankings. Those were their BETTER rankings? [TaxProf Blog] * To keep “misleading statistics” in perspective, the Department of Education leveled one of its steepest fines on Yale for covering up multiple “forcible sex offenses” to keep its campus safety statistics down. [Chronicle of Higher Education] * A measure of resource governance finds the U.S. has the second best governance of its oil, gas and mining sectors. Give yourself a hand regulators. And we’re gunning for you Norway! [Breaking Energy] * The Honorable Felicia Mennin does not grasp how time works. Thinks artist should have been more conscious of the public fear surrounding the Boston bombings… back in February. [New York Times] * Congratulations readers for helping the profile of a White House petition to reform student loan policy. Here are a couple more if you feel like making more reforms to the process… or at least more suggestions for reforms that will sit on someone’s desk. [Whitehouse.gov and Whitehouse.gov] * Is political intelligence practice too risky? Is political intelligence an oxymoron? An interview with Robert Walker of Wiley Rein LLP after the jump [Bloomberg Law]

* A White House petition started by a young lawyer asking that at least student loan interest be tax deductible like interest on a mortgage to help out those folks like, frankly, most lawyers, who make too much money to deduct their student loans. [WhiteHouse.gov] * Antoinette “Toni” Bush, partner-in-charge of Skadden’s communications group, is leaving the firm to become global head of government affairs for Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. Free tip: brush up on your hacking law. [Am Law Daily] * The Department of Energy may adopt a new “commercial maturity test” to get rolling on the backlog of liquid natural gas export license requests. And that, of course, will spur the inevitable lawsuits. [Breaking Energy] * Apparently, President Obama dreams of “going Bulworth and resents the “Harry Potter theory of the presidency,” that the President can wave a wand and make things happen. So he’s pro Pras, Maya, and ODB, and anti-Hagrid. Who’s anti-Hagrid??? [New York Times] * Lois Lerner, the manager at the center of the IRS “scandal,” has backed out of delivering the keynote at the WNEU Law commencement. I’m pretty sure Staci would do a better job… of running the IRS. [Boston Herald] * Overlawyered blasts the Daily Caller for trying to tie Lerner to Obama via her husband, Michael Miles of Sutherland, Asbill & Brennan because the large firm had some ties to Obama. Blerg. Meanwhile, this “partisan scandal” is turning out to be bipartisan entirely based on which IRS office the groups dealt with. [Overlawyered] * Congratulations to this guy. Must have been a hell of a feast. [WDRB]

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