Engagement

Elizabeth Wurtzel

Last year, we raised the possibility of Elizabeth Wurtzel, the prominent New York lawyer and writer, getting married. This was based on a Reddit appearance in which she stated, “I actually think I may yet get married — statistically 90% of people get married at some point. But I would say that love and craziness [have] overwhelmed my life, and I am trying to write about it….”

Well, it looks like Liz Wurtzel has tamed the craziness — to the point where yes, she’s able to tie the knot. How do we know this?

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Lawyers love detailed instructions and examples, even in their love lives. They want to know if they’ll be able to find a romance at their high-ranking law schools, and they’re obsessed with Legal Eagle Wedding Watches, if only as confirmation that some day they too will be happily married.

What these inquisitive lawyers all seem to forget, though, is that the prelude to the perfect marriage is the perfect engagement ring.

But how much should you be spending on one?

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Like a recent law grad could afford this.

What’s the most exciting stunt you could pull off before receiving your law school diploma? If you guessed “a backflip,” someone’s been there, and done that. This 2013 grad from Baylor Law has got you beat. If your next best guess was “propose to your girlfriend in front of hundreds of people,” then nice job, you win.

When this soon-to-be graduate found out his longtime girlfriend, who graduated from law school last year, would be participating in his hooding ceremony, he knew he had to step up his game. He wanted his girlfriend to have and to hold, from that day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until debt do them part.

Keep reading to see the video that’s quickly making the rounds online….

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Amal Alamuddin

We hate to break it to you, but perpetual bachelor George Clooney is reportedly off the market. We all knew this day would eventually come, but that didn’t stop us from hoping against all hope that it wouldn’t. Clooney’s last love interest was a former professional wrestler, but this time around, he had the good sense to pick a woman who has both beauty and brains. His fiancée is a lawyer, and it’s much harder for us to pray for a marriage measured in Kardashians when you find out about some of her clients and accomplishments.

The lucky lady Clooney popped the question to is the “breathtakingly beautiful and formidably successful” Amal Alamuddin. Let’s find out some more information about her…

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Too bad Princeton doesn’t have a law school.

I don’t want to alarm you, but this is going to be bad news for some of you — possibly even a lot of you. The last few days have been tough for all of us. Emotional. Controversial. Traumatic, even. News like this comes along once, maybe twice, in a lifetime. Obviously, I’m referring to the treatise that was recently released in Princeton University’s student newspaper, the Daily Princetonian, in the form of a letter to the editor addressed to “the young women of Princeton.”

The author of this editorial, noted socio-anthropological scholar divorced former housewife and Princeton alum, Susan A. Patton, caused quite a stir when she implored — nay, demanded — that the young women of Princeton “find a husband on campus before you graduate” because “for most of you, the cornerstone of your future and happiness will be inextricably linked to the man you marry, and you will never again have this concentration of men who are worthy of you.” She then drove the point home by noting that she recently completed a “horrible” divorce, after 27 years of marriage, to a man whose “academic background was not as luxurious as mine, and that was a source of some stress.” Indeed.

Susan A. Patton, while I admire your grammar, I have to respectfully disagree with you. Because you failed to cite one obvious point: Even if a young lady has managed to escape the wilds of New Jersey without nailing down a trip to Zales, she still has one more shot: law school. Well, let’s be clear — a T14 law school….

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When it comes to marriage proposals, some guys are completely clueless. Perhaps your girlfriend said she’d once dreamed of getting engaged in a castle. Your friends, if they’re any good, will quickly advise you that you’re a moron for thinking you can pop the question at the local White Castle. Usually your best bros, or your wingmen, will be able to help you to see the error of your ways, and get you back on the right track.

And that’s why it’s great to have a wingman like Mayor Cory Booker. Not only is he handsome, but he’s also incredibly intelligent — Stanford for college, Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar, Yale for law school. Oh, and he’s a famous politician who’s social media savvy (and not in an Anthony Weiner kind of way), so that’s a good thing.

The dashing young mayor of Newark, New Jersey is pretty good at saving things, too. The list of things he’s saved is quite long, and ranges from freezing dogs to damsels in distress in burning buildings.

So why not save a marriage proposal?

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Perhaps this is something that you’ve noticed: women who are newly engaged tend to brag about the way their fiancé proposed to them. And whether the proposal was bland or spectacular, it’s all these women seem to want to talk about.

So, what happens when you’ve got two criminal cases pending against you, and your boyfriend is just dying to pop the question? What happens when that same boyfriend has an order of protection against you due to allegations of domestic violence? Is that the kind of backstory you’d want to tell all your friends before spilling the beans on how your fiancé asked for your hand in marriage?

Apparently, the answer to the last question is “yes,” because this unlucky couple’s engagement tale was published in the local paper for all the world to see….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Black Eyes and Bliss: A Courtroom Marriage Proposal, Domestic Violence Style”

* I guess it really doesn’t matter how much lawyers love Ron Paul if Biglaw firms keep emptying their seemingly overflowing coffers into Obama’s re-election campaign. [Washington Post]

* Congratulations to Yale Law School graduate Ronan Farrow, son of Woody Allen and Mia Farrow. Ronan probably isn’t shallow and empty with no ideas and nothing interesting to say, since he’s just been named a 2012 Rhodes Scholar. [ABC News]

* National drinking age laws: keeping women from killing themselves or being murdered since the 1980s. Now where’s the study on how many people actually obey these laws? [USA Today]

* A Florida woman has disappeared after battling it out with her ex-fiancé over an engagement ring on The People’s Court. As if you needed another reason not to be seen on that show. [Daily Mail]

* According to a new law in England, water might be wet, but that doesn’t mean it’ll fix dehydration. Not elementary, my dear Watson, but “stupidity writ large.” [International Business Times]

* The fall of the Third Reich fourth tyke? Poor little Adolf Hitler’s parents have lost custody of yet another child thanks to the state of New Jersey. [New York Daily News]

Leah Ward Sears

* Leah Ward Sears, who shows up on SCOTUS shortlists, wants to impose a mandatory waiting period… on divorces. It’d be interesting to live in a country where you had to wait for a year to get rid of your spouse, but not to buy a gun. [Slate]

* Speaking of marriage…. Tara Reid was maybe engaged to an accountant? [Going Concern]

* Trust me, nobody buys off your ATL bloggers. Without us disclosing it. Because it’s not a bribe if you like money and don’t care who knows about it. [Gawker]

* The study doesn’t say that fat people are more likely to miss work; it says that unhealthy people are more likely to miss work. That’s why I discriminate against thin little stress balls that have a conniption every time they see a slice of chocolate cake. [Business Insider]

* Wait, we have a prison rape elimination act? Did we only just now decide that prison rape should be stopped? But it doesn’t apply to everybody in prisons? I’m so confused. [ACLU: Blog of Rights]

* At least Ken Jennings isn’t going to law school. [Ken Jennings]

Biglaw bucks can bring the bling.

Some people just can’t stay out of our pages. Back in 2008, we wrote about Ira J. Schacter, a prominent corporate partner and major rainmaker at Cadwalader. Schacter earned Lawyer of the Day honors after he was accused of beating his wife. (He claimed he acted in self-defense and was ultimately cleared of the charges.)

Well, today Ira Schacter is back in the news. He’s accused of refusing to pay for his teen daughter’s $12,000 hearing aids, while dropping $215,000 on a diamond engagement ring for his Playboy-bunny fiancée. If true, that’s pretty shoddy behavior — the very embodiment of cheapness, from a big-time Biglaw partner who can easily afford twelve grand.

But I know what you’re all wondering right now: “How hot is that Playboy-model fiancée?”

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