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Rather than focus on social media training for lawyers, wouldn't it make more sense to for law firms and bar associations to encourage lawyers to use social media like the vast majority of Americans?

* Talk about Texas justice: After an elderly couple called animal control on a family with four dogs and caused them to be assessed a $121 fine, the dog-owning family posted this eloquently worded sign on their lawn. [San Francisco Chronicle]

* Chicago Blawkhawks hockey player Patrick Kane has been accused of rape, so naturally, his lawyer took to Facebook to defend his client in a hat trick of idiocy by engaging with bloggers, commenters, and witnesses, as one does. [CBS Chicago]

* Just when you thought you’d memorized all of the hearsay exceptions, the judiciary says it’s thinking of tossing one out. It may be popular on the bar exam, but it’s time to say goodbye to the otherwise rarely used ancient documents rule. [National Law Journal]

* British firms are borrowing “record sums” to fund expansion, and many have increased associate pay to compete with the U.S. firms with higher pay scales across the pond. Perhaps Biglaw firms ought to consider spreading the wealth over here. [Financial Times]

* After having served 10 months in prison for killing his girlfriend, a law school graduate turned model, Oscar Pistorius is ready to move on to “mansion arrest” for the remainder of his sentence. Man, it must be nice to be a wealthy convict in South Africa. [Reuters]

Maybe we shouldn't condemn this picture as much as ask if it casts light on deeper issues.

The legal profession has a long way to go when it comes to diversity and inclusion, according to columnist Renwei Chung, but some firms are doing a great job of positively distinguishing themselves in these areas.

It's our role as lawyers to embrace conflict and debate, according to columnist Keith Lee.

Technology columnist Jeff Bennion walks through the different social-media platforms... and expresses skepticism.

Columnist Renwei Chung shares key takeaways from Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg's reflections on the passing of her husband.

Facebook is great for lawyers as a networking, relationship-nurturing, and reputation-building medium -- but only if you behave like a real human being.

Be careful before you post your "hot take" online...

Supreme Court leaves the law more muddled than it was yesterday.

Ed. note: Above the Law will not be publishing on Monday, May 25, in observance of the Memorial Day holiday.

* The settlement deal between Target and Mastercard over the 2013 data breach is dead after failing to garner the requisite issuer support. Proposed settlement: $19 million. Years of protracted litigation: Priceless. [Credit Union Times]

* High school teacher who admitted she and another teacher had a threesome with a 16-year-old student got off — well, legally — with a slap on the wrist. Folks are starting to wonder if her dad being a sitting district judge had anything to do with that. [Times-Picayune]

* On a similar note, Mama June of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo… fame? Is she famous? Whatever. The point is Mama June is toying with suing the TLC Network because they canceled her show over a child molester, but haven’t nuked 19 Kids and Counting in the wake of its brewing molestation scandal. When you consider these hit shows starring inbred hillbillies with molestation issues, remember that TLC stands for “The Learning Channel.” [TMZ]

* Lawmakers pushing back against Governor Cuomo’s proposal to appoint an independent monitor to investigate police-related civilian killings. One skeptical State Senator proclaims, “What I do know is that it treats police officers different than other citizens.” Yes, because right now the police get the same kid gloves grand jury presentations the rest of us do. [Capital New York]

* Texas prosecuted 115,782 truancies in a year, levying hefty fines and doling out jail time to kids as young as 12. Well hello there prison-industrial complex! [Al Jazeera America]

* Are the Yankees and A-Rod gearing up for arbitration… or settlement? I don’t know, why wouldn’t you want to put a warm, likeable guy like him in front of a panel? [Concurring Opinions]

* Judges must be the loneliest people on social media… [The Daily Record]

* Merely complaining to your boss is enough to trigger anti-retaliation provisions according to the Second Circuit. So feel free to call up that partner you hate… [JD Supra]

A judge is allowing Facebook's lawsuit against DLA Piper and Milberg to move forward.

A tragic death reminds us to find our purpose.

If you sue all the homosexuals, how exactly do you effect service?

* Oh Texas. Judge gets in trouble for posting about an ongoing trial on Facebook, violating HER OWN RULE about posting about an ongoing trial on Facebook. [Texas Lawyer]

* Head of the Georgia state judicial ethics committee resigns after billing questions arise. [Daily Report]

* Ach nein! Orrick closes two German offices. [Am Law]

* Yup, if you graduated law school (even from a great school like Columbia) in 2010, you are well and truly screwed. [NY Times]

* Get ready for the gay marriage oral arguments with a fascinating history of codified homophobia in public service. [WaPo]

* Irony alert: Judge’s son got a DUI when he was driving recklessly in front of — yup, you guessed it — the courthouse. [Times Free Press]

* NY State Chief Judge Jonathan Lippman comes out in favor of decriminalization of seven “broken windows” offenses that account for ~42% of NYPD summonses. [NY Daily News]

* RIP Harvey Miller, 82, Weil Gotshal bankruptcy partner passed away after a fight with ALS. [NYLJ]

* Authorities have cleared the robot built specifically to buy illegal stuff off the dark web. In related news, officer, all that panda meat was bought by my robot… for an art project. [Hopes and Fears]

* The Biglaw pup who posted an anti-West, pro-Islamist rant on YouTube continues to be a headache for Clifford Chance. [Legal Cheek]

* Laurence Tribe’s arguments are getting closer and closer to Homer Simpson’s. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* In case you weren’t counting, there’ve been 95 Senate roll call votes while Loretta Lynch has been waiting… [People For The American Way]

* Lawyer suspended for handing out ecstasy to drug women into sex. I don’t disagree with the outcome, but there’s one pretty troubling aspect of the opinion: “The OLR noted… that his victim was much younger.” She was 22! At a certain point can we just admit women are adults? Focus on the drugging predatory behavior instead of constructing her as an addled-brained ingenue. [Legal Profession Blog]

* Daredevil’s courtroom antics evaluated by New York Judge Matthew Sciarrino. [The Legal Geeks]

* If you’re interested in the legal landscape of marijuana, here’s a cool infographic summing up where we are and how we got here. [Diego Criminal Defense]

* If you’re interested in February bar exam results from across the country, Bar Exam Stats is keeping a running tally complete with a nice map. [Bar Exam Stats]

* Former Facebook GC Ted Ullyot has joined VC firm Andreessen Horowitz to lead a new policy and regulatory affairs group in the firm. [Dealbreaker; TechCrunch]

* The law prof who sent anal-bead porn to her students is making headlines beyond the legal media. [Inside Higher Ed; Total Frat Move]

* You’ve been served — via Facebook. How do you “Like” them apples? [New York Daily News]

* Making a federal — or at least state — case out of teaching yoga to schoolchildren. [ATL Redline]

* Bad idea: taking someone’s identity and accepting money on their behalf. (Or: the dangers of launching a startup without legal advice.) [Associate’s Mind]

* Also a bad idea (if the allegations are true, that is): a men-only golf retreat at a large law firm. [ABA Journal]

* “Sperm Donor Scandal Lawsuit: How One Man with Schizophrenia Allegedly Fathered 36 Children.” [People]

* Getting revenge on a revenge-porn magnate: an 18-year sentence for Kevin Christopher Bollaert. [Los Angeles Times]

* How can healthcare startups protect their intellectual property? [MedCity News]

* Debt-saddled law students love free stuff — so how about free membership in the ABA? [American Bar Association]

* In addition to our April 23 reception, I’ll also be doing an event on April 25 for Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link), to which you are all most cordially invited. [Seminary Co-Op Bookstore; Facebook]

* “It’s unconscionable, and I believe they have breached the fiduciary duty to the law school, to the students and to the public.” Appalachian Law is struggling, and some believe its trustees are preventing the school from saving itself. Will this be the first school to fold? [Inside Higher Ed]

* “We were all running this ATM machine called big law firms.” Before 2008, it was easier for large law firms to make money, but now, there’s an “insurmountable gap” in revenue between the industry’s heavy hitters and the rest of the pack. [Wall Street Journal]

* You’ll pry their job security from their cold, dead hands: William Mitchell Law professors know that layoffs may be coming thanks to the school’s planned merger with Hamline Law, and have filed suit to protect the Tenure Code. [Minnesota Public Radio News]

* Bonus season isn’t the only thing that Davis Polk has cornered the market on. According to the latest Bloomberg M&A rankings, the firm came out on top during the first quarter of 2015 when it came to advising on major deals. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* “Whatever happened to The New York Times’ fact-checker?” Here’s yet another harsh critique of Professor Steven Davidoff Solomon’s cringeworthy defense of law schools, and this time it’s from a fellow law professor. Ouch. [The Belly of the Beast via Am Law Daily]

* Jay Edelson of Edelson PC may be the “most hated person in Silicon Valley,” but he probably doesn’t care about being Liked — after all, he recently filed suit against Facebook over the social networking company’s face recognition software. [New York Times]

* “You can do all you want! Four days. You don’t have the jurisdiction. Five days.” Judge Joe Brown lost his appeal over a contempt charge he earned last year after he allegedly “lost control” during a juvenile court hearing and yelled at the presiding judge. [WREG]

* According to a recent study, law faculties are lacking in white Christians and white Republicans. The most underrepresented demographic of all is that of Republican women. By all accounts, it looks like that particular group needs to sue to to get full-time teaching positions. [National Law Journal]

* Law firms are constantly being inundated with solicitations for rankings and awards, and while they often complain that there are too many, let’s face it: lawyers’ egos are huge, and there will never be enough prestige to sate them. [Business of Law / Bloomberg BNA]

* Ellen Pao’s gender discrimination case against Kleiner Perkins has turned into a circus, with two area law firms fighting each other tooth and nail, and witnesses on the stand questioning lawyers with the judge’s intermittent approval. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Paul Ceglia, the alleged Facebook huckster who claimed he owned half of the social media company, may have escaped justice by removing his ankle monitor and disappearing, but his family had to forfeit his $250,000 bail yesterday. Like? [Reuters]

* Robin Thicke and Pharrell Williams will officially be appealing the $7.4 million “Blurred Lines” verdict that was handed down against them earlier this week. Both musicians were likely decidedly unhappy about having to give up their spare pocket change to pay for a lawsuit they thought they should’ve won. [Hollywood Reporter]

* Another law school is teaching a marijuana law class, and it’s scheduled on Fridays so students won’t take it as a novelty course. For potheads, having to drag your ass out of bed when you don’t have other classes is a disincentivizer. [Columbus Dispatch]

* After reaping the benefits of serving as lead counsel in Detroit’s bankruptcy, Jones Day decided to pay the city back by opening an office. The firm will recruit for the new office internally. Raise your hand if you’re excited to move to Detroit, associates. [Am Law Daily]

* “I don’t know where he is. I haven’t got a clue.” Paul Ceglia, the man who claimed he owned half of Facebook based on a faux contract and is now facing fraud charges, has suddenly and conveniently disappeared ahead of his May trial. Dislike. [Bloomberg]

* If for some reason you’re still interested in applying to law school, here’s a timeline that will help you get through the application process. Step 1: Figure out if you actually need to go to law school. Step 2: Abandon the rest of the steps. [U.S. News & World Report]