Farts

Apparently, Eagle Scouts make the best spouses.

* Same-sex couple says their Eagle Scout badges helped prepare them for marriage. I don’t remember badges for nagging incessantly and dealing with your goddamned mother-in-law. [The Atlantic]

* The British legal system: Now with more farting! [Legal Cheek]

* #wheninlawschool and the cast of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia comment on the 3L job market. [#wheninlawschool]

* Out in Michigan, Judge Wade McCree is suspended with pay in escrow. Say it ain’t so? He’s had such a sterling reputation before this. [My Fox Detroit]

* Because “You’ve Barely Gotten Anywhere” doesn’t have the same ring of female empowerment. [The Careerist]

* You may think there wasn’t more to say about University of Denver dean Martin Katz’s bogus plea for more students. But you’d be wrong. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* A pretty good description of American reactions to the drone strike memo. [The Onion]

* The woman who flipped off a judge has apologized. [NBC Miami]

* And Elie just sent me this one: “Sometimes, illegal hackers reveal something so beautiful they cannot be charged with a crime.” [Free Beacon]

Malawi, where the sphincters aren't free.

I don’t know much about Malawi. I know they had a fuel shortage recently. So when I heard they were banning gas, I thought, “Well, that’s an elegant solution.”

But Malawi isn’t banning gas, it’s going to criminalize passing gas. Yeah, because of all the things going on in Malawi, I’m sure farting is a primary concern. I’m sure the Malawian ambassador to the U.N. is going to love hearing fart jokes in 50 different languages. (And yes, the French guy is going to be obligated under international law to say: “I fart in your general direction.”)

In any event, let’s all point and laugh at another example of terrible sub-Saharan leadership…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “What’s More Embarrassing Than Farting? Being the Country That Criminalizes Farting.”

No, that’s not a typo; we’re not talking about firefighting. We’re talking about fart fighting. From our sister site, the fabulous Fashionista:

There’s no graceful way to introduce this product, so we’ll just cut to the chase: “Subtle Butt” is a disposable patch of fabric with an “activated carbon layer… to which stench adheres and gets neutralized.” Except there’s nothing subtle about farting.

In short, Subtle Butt is a small square of fabric you stick to your underwear just in case you lay a real stinky egg. If it’s loud, you’re on your own. Subtle Butt does nothing to muffle sound. Gross.

This product sounds like a gas — and very useful for lawyers. Imagine you’re in a marathon negotiation session for a billion-dollar merger, or deposing the opposing party’s CEO, and that Mexican food you ordered from Seamless Web has given you flatulence.

Do you really want to waste precious (billable) time by stopping the proceedings and stepping out of the conference room, just to toot your own kazoo? If Subtle Butt has you covered, just let it rip — and cough really loudly or drop binders on the floor, to cover up the noise.

In light of Subtle Butt’s utility for attorneys, it shouldn’t be a surprise that the inventor is a lawyer….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Career Alternatives for Attorneys: Fart Fighting?”