FDA

* The case for rotating Chief Justices. Because the Supreme Court should operate more like your PTA. [PrawfsBlawg]

* Finally a solution to police misconduct that might actually work. But it doesn’t result in a boondoggle to camera manufacturing defense contractors, so there’s no way this will end up happening. [Redline]

* Last month we put out an APB for Bobby Chen, Supreme Court litigant. Well, no luck. The Supreme Court dropped his case. [Lowering the Bar]

* Boies Schiller announces the hiring of Matthew Schwartz and John Zach to launch a new Global Investigations and White Collar Defense practice area. Read up on their exploits at the U.S. Attorney’s Office with this detailed account of the prosecution of the Madoff Five. [Forbes]

* Mark Hermann explained the importance of trust in his article today. Here are 5 tips for building that reputation. [Law and More]

* Who regulated qualified health claims? It might just be “no one.” [Inside Counsel]

* The contestants on @Midnight last week tackled the curious case of Michael A. Fiumara and his sex doll interview advertisement. They start dealing with Fiumara at the 23:44. [Comedy Central]

* The Thomas M. Cooley Law School is planning to sell one of its academic buildings for an asking price of $8.15 million. Dear Lord, the school will lose some of its library square footage. NOOOOOOOOO! [Lansing State Journal]

* Contrary to his client’s hit anthem, Pharrell’s lawyer isn’t happy. He says YouTube has been “blithely” ignoring his requests to take down music for which it lacks performance rights, and it may result in a $1B lawsuit. [Hollywood Reporter]

* Clifford Sloan, the State Department’s special envoy on Guantánamo Bay, appointed in 2013 to help shut down the detention center, is returning to the loving arms of Skadden’s partnership on January 1, 2015. Gitmo is still open. Oops. [Am Law Daily]

* After 30 years, the Food and Drug Administration decided to lift its lifetime ban on blood donation for gay men. Now gay men just have to abstain from doing gay things for a year — like having sex with other men — to donate blood. Yay? [WSJ Law Blog]

* If you’ve been wondering what the most ridiculous lawsuits of 2014 are, we’ve got you covered. These are the top 10 most absurd cases filed over the course of the past year. You may remember some of these from our coverage. [Faces of Lawsuit Abuse]

* Lawyer explains to court how people illegally implanted a silicon chip in her head. No word on her feelings about Mondays. [Tampa Bay Times] * How much juice content did Coca-Cola think allowed them to market a product as juice? The answer will actually surprise you unless you really, really hate Coke. [PR Log] * Defendants should not have access to the Internet because they could beat someone to death with an iPad. I guess. [Lowering the Bar] * Mobile crammers settle for $10 million. The charge will appear on their next month’s phone bill. [Law and More] * Like most things in life, the path to victory involves beginning from the KISS principle. [Katz Justice] * Of all the over-the-top immigration control efforts in this country, arresting a couple in bed for not being “married enough” is one of the craziest. [Sun Sentinel] * The American Bar Association, fresh off loosening its accreditation standards, is actually trying to dupe kids into thinking this is the best time to attend law school. Check out this ad. And if you want to play with it in Photoshop, that would be cool too…

The FDA is getting dragged into the debate over what truly defines "hummus."

Is Vermont's new food labeling law a good idea? Conservative columnist Tamara Tabo has her doubts.

What are the flaws of the FDA's proposed regulation of e-cigarettes?

The only thing that could make E-cigs cool is if the government banned them.

* The D.C. Circuit has banned the import of Sodium Thiopental, putting a crimp in the plans of any state looking to administer lethal injections. This is where Delaware has it right… no one is going to outlaw rope. [The Volokh Conspiracy] * Steve Cohen didn’t read 89 percent of his emails. In his defense, “I think I’m guilty of insider trading” and “I am a Nigerian Prince” are probably both getting caught by the spam filter. [DealBreaker] * Sequestration has put the pinch on the rights of indigent federal defendants to receive legal representation. But at least our airlines are shielded from hardship. [PrawfsBlawg] * “Just as Justice Scalia predicted in his animated dissent, by virtue of the present lawsuit, “the state-law shoe” has now dropped in Ohio.” [USA Today] * Wire Lawyer is running a competition among law school alumni to see which schools are the most technologically progressive. What do you know, people from Seattle and California are winning a technology competition. [Wire Lawyer] * Hall of Famers Art Monk and Darrell Green have joined the movement to get Washington to stop using the ‘Redskins’ name. [ESPN] * Bloomberg takes a look at the legal controversy brewing around unpaid internships. Video after the jump… [Bloomberg Law via YouTube]

According to the Supreme Court, sometimes settling a lawsuit can create an antitrust problem. How?

* With the Supreme Court’s term winding quickly to a close, it’s likely that conservative justices will write for the majority in some of the most closely watched and controversial cases. Uh oh. [Washington Post]

* Judge Edward Korman, the man who slapped around the FDA like it owed him money in a ruling over access to the morning-after pill, is actually a very soft-spoken, kind-hearted fellow. [New York Times]

* Wherein a Chicago Law professor and a Vedder Price partner argue that instead of cutting law school down to two years, financial aid should be given out like candy. Hey, whatever works. [Bloomberg]

* Brooklyn Law’s got a whole lot of drama these days: Their president is stepping down, their dean is apparently still a full-time partner at Patton Boggs, and a law professor is suing over alleged ABA violations. [New York Law Journal]

* That’s not the only New York-area law school awash in scandal. Chen Guangcheng has received the boot from NYU Law due to alleged harm done to the school’s relationship with China. [New York Times]

* When questioned about the need for his school, Indiana Tech’s dean says the lawyer oversupply and lack of jobs don’t matter. It’s about the quality of the graduate. Good luck with that! [Journal Gazette]

* This came too soon (that’s what she said). The alleged porn purveyors at Prenda Law will close up shop thanks to the costly litigation surrounding their copyright trolling. [Law & Disorder / Ars Technica]

* Fort Hood shooter Maj. Nidal Hassan won’t be allowed to use a “defense of others” strategy in his murder trial, because not only does it fail as a matter of law, but it’s also ridiculous. [Associated Press]

* Harvard Law grad Cate Edwards, daughter of disgraced pol John Edwards, took a dramatic step away from her father’s tabloid-esque pubic interests by opening her own public interest firm. [WJLA ABC 7]

* Judge Thomas Jackson, well-known for his antitrust ruling against Microsoft, RIP. [New York Times]

* The Kardashians are suing their father’s widow for allegedly trying to exploit his diary — because the Kardashians object to anything exploitative. [Courthouse News Service] * Judge Edward Korman ruled that the FDA must stop requiring those under 17 years old to present a prescription for the morning after pill. MTV’s programming executives plan to appeal. [CNN] * Do litigators really need instruction not to scream at witnesses? [Roll on Friday] * A school in Massachusetts privatized school lunches, and then that company told its workers to dump the food of students who were in default on their lunch tickets. America! F**k Yeah! [Lawyers, Guns and Money] * Illegalities sums up the malaise of being a Biglaw associate with this reblog. [Illegalities] * Target learns the value of editing after labeling plus-sized dresses with the word “Manatee.” [Forbes] * After the jump, watch Elie discuss his take on Democrats just coming around to supporting gay rights. Maybe McKayla Maroney rubbed off on Elie during their interview, because in this segment, he’s not impressed….

Mayor Mommy takes another swipe at cigarette smokers...

What happens when an in-house counsel gets prosecuted for doing her job? Thoughts from David Mowry...

* New Zealand's Parliament has passed the first stage of a bill that would legalize same-sex marriage. Lawmakers were apparently inspired by President Obama's public support of the issue. [Huffington Post] * The trial of a Florida teen accused of impersonating a physician assistant is underway. Among other things, he allegedly dressed in scrubs, used a stethoscope, and performed CPR on a patient. Apparently, just because you've seen it on Grey's Anatomy doesn't mean you're allowed to do it in real life. [ABC News] * "And to my son, I bequeath my playlist of one-hit wonders and my season pass to Breaking Bad." Marketwatch tackles the tricky question of who owns your digital music (and e-book) collections after you die. [Marketwatch / WSJ] * A New Mexico criminal defense attorney, David "Chip" Venie, was charged yesterday with allegedly shooting a man in the leg at his law office. Oh, and Venie's wife filmed the whole thing on her cell phone, including the unarmed victim holding out his empty hands. [ABA Journal] * Lawyers for the Amish men and women charged with forcibly cutting the beards and hair of their "perceived enemies" say they were motivated by compassion, not hatred. Sometimes you've just got to let someone know her haircut's not doing her any favors. [NY Times] * In First Amendment news, the D.C. Circuit court has invalidated an FDA regulation requiring cigarette companies to place warning labels on packages. Is this a victory for free speech, or for big tobacco? [The Atlantic]

Why has the FDA been spying on its own scientists?

* Dewey know how many professional firms have been allowed to stay on as advisers for the largest law firm bankruptcy in U.S. history? Six out of nine firms were permitted to continue services, but Proskauer wasn’t one of them. [Am Law Daily (sub. req.)]

* In other defunct firm news, Al Togut will be presenting Dewey & LeBoeuf’s former partners with a proposed settlement on Wednesday. You’ve been warned: prepare yourselves for some Biglaw-style bitching. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Despite reports of the billable hour going the way of the dodo bird, it looks like they’re here to stay. Right now, corporate law departments are still much more excited about alternative billing arrangements than law firms. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Judge Sam Sparks, the King of Benchslaps, dismissed Lance Armstrong’s lawsuit against the USADA in record time. That ruling came too quickly — guess it’s time to investigate judicial doping. [New York Times]

* Marc Dreier’s son, Spencer Dreier, is representing himself pro se in a defamation suit against his former college roommate. Looks like Daddy couldn’t spring for his kid’s lawyer while he was in the clink. [Bloomberg]

* A California woman claims that the Food and Drug Administration’s methods regarding sperm donations are unconstitutional. Why should she have to go to an intermediary to get sperminated? [Huffington Post]

* Do you smell what The Rock is cooking? It’s not exactly something to be proud of. Actor Dwayne Johnson is listed as a “co-conspirator” in a $1.8M fraud lawsuit that’s been filed by a South Florida family. [NBC Miami]

* In an unprecedented move, Health Secretary Kathleen Sebelius has overruled the FDA. Looks like the Obama administration thinks that Plan B will turn little girls into promiscuous prosti-tots. [Wall Street Journal] * Due to this ruling, Occupy Boston protesters will probably have to STFU and GTFO. Bring out the brooms, because this will be […]

* Should the Supreme Court be forced to televise oral arguments? Yes, but only on the condition that we get spin-off shows called Wise Latina Justice and Ruthie’s Law. [WSJ Law Blog] * Rod Blagojevich won’t get leniency during sentencing. He’ll spend the next week lamenting the fact that can’t brush his beautiful hair like […]

If we try hard enough, I bet we can blame the entire collapse of the American economy on some Lehman Brothers dudes who had too much Four Loko. We’ve been following the successful crusade to get the original Four Loko banned because of its “dangerous” combination of caffeine and alcohol. Outlawing one specific mixture of […]

Welcome back to Above the Four Loko. In today’s episode, we find that the drink that used to combine alcohol and caffeine in really obvious ways has settled a false advertising suit with the Federal Trade Commission. As we’ve discussed often with Four Loko, the alcoholic kick IS the appeal of the product. This drink […]