* This editorial must have been so much fun to write. Local newspaper tees off on petty local politician who threatened to sue them for using his name without his permission. Like, in a story about him. Welcome to First Amendment 101, dude. Professor Volokh has some fun commentary. [The Frederick News-Post]
* A new Congress gets down to business today, and they begin by proposing a solution to the biggest issue in America by floating a national abortion ban. Well, they have to talk about something now that Obama’s got the Dow around 18,000. [ThinkProgress]
* Not really legal, but Archer’s back. Holly Anderson talks to the executive producer about this season. [Grantland]
* Harold Hamm’s ex-wife rejected a $974 million check. I just want to know what purchase she wants to make that has her saying, “Eh, I’ve got to pass on that $974 million.” [The Oklahoman]
* Keeping politics out of King v. Burwell is like making a Fast & Furious movie without Vin Diesel. Sure you can do it, but it’s gonna suck. [The New Republic]
* The minds behind the Notorious R.B.G. meme have a book deal! And it’s a Justice Ginsburg biography. Bring it on. [New York Magazine]
* David keeps on touring America talking about Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link) — and also much, much more (including revelations about his personal life). This time it’s an interview with WHYY in Philly. [WHYY]
* “If you can’t disagree on the law without taking it personally, find another day job. You shouldn’t be an appellate judge.” You’ve really got to admit that sometimes, Justice Scalia has an absolutely wonderful way of putting things. [Associated Press]
* David Boies sent everyone and their mother and their dog a letter asking them to destroy all docs leaked from the Sony hack, lest they face legal consequences, but there’s just one problem with that pesky First Amendment. [WSJ Law Blog]
* The law students who requested exam delays due to unfair grand jury decisions claim they’re not “coddled Millennials” — no, they’re members of the new regime of lawyers who are willing to ask, “If not us, then who?” [National Law Journal]
* Please keep in mind that these students are likely the same ones who may be missing out about learning the intricacies of rape law because they want their professors to “protect them from causing or experiencing discomfort.” [New Yorker]
* Well, this is an interesting round of musical chairs: Vice Media just poached James H. Schwab, the chairman of the media and entertainment practice group at Paul Weiss, to join the company as co-president. [DealBook / New York Times]
* Undergrad students at Boston University are trotting out the latest edition of the school’s pre-law review. Feast your eyes upon the genius of future gunners, or don’t, because it’ll help them learn early that no one actually reads law reviews. [BU Today]
ATL Academy For Private Practice Volume 1 – Getting Started offers a mix of deeply informed, sometimes contrarian, but always thoughtful insight into meeting the challenges of starting and optimizing your own practice. Click here to download.
Who knew John Roberts could lay down sick rhymes like these?
* A breakdown of Thomas M. Cooley’s bar passage rate. It’s… about as depressing as you’d expect. [Third Tier Reality]
* Rapper being prosecuted on the argument that he benefitted from gang activity because the gang’s exploits made his rap music more popular. What the hell? [Popehat]
* The state of the clerkship hiring process gets mixed reviews from Yalies. [Yale Daily News]
* UNC is looking for a new dean. You know, if you’re interested in becoming a dean. [The Faculty Lounge]
* The Flash and res ipsa loquitur. [The Legal Geeks]
* Fun fact: people interested in the law also seem to love anchovy paste and Destiny’s Child. At least in the U.K. [Legal Cheek]
* The Marshall Project, a nonprofit, nonpartisan news organization devoted to criminal justice reform, just went online. Check ‘em out. [The Marshall Project]
* Don’t overdo it when you go about “thinking like a lawyer.” [Law and More]
* The long-running, racist soap opera in Manhattan state court takes a new turn. After playing a key role in the events that led to the ouster of the top aide to the New York County Clerk, Justice Milton Tingling has applied to be the new New York County Clerk. [WiseLaw NY]
* In light of Speaker Boehner’s new lawsuit over Obamacare, this is a good time to look back at this interview with Laurence Tribe evaluating Boehner’s chances. [Coverage Opinions]
Key’s power of persuasion didn’t lead to victory at the Supreme Court and today that man, Francis Scott Key, is better known as a lyricist than a lawyer.
America in the 21st Century is not as up on the Bill of Rights as you’d hope.
Casetext is offering select students the opportunity to gain real entrepreneurial experience while in school as part of its law student ambassador program.
* The Insane Clown Posse is appealing their loss in the “Juggalos aren’t gang members” case. F**king lawsuits, how do they work? [Lowering the Bar]
* After losing before the Supreme Court, the University of Texas affirmative action admissions program looked to be in serious trouble. But the Fifth Circuit just ruled that the UT policy met the strict-scrutiny analysis mandated by the Court. The lesson for Abigail Fisher is once more, “How about you get better grades instead of whining?” Or at least “Get politically connected.” [Chronicle of Higher Education]
* Apple agrees to a conditional $450 million settlement with the NYAG’s office in the e-book suit. So you might get some money back from the 50 Shades of Grey purchase. [Reuters]
* The Manassas city police have decided not to engage in kiddie porn pursuant to a warrant. Good for them. [Washington Post]
* “Judges are not deities. They are humans.” Let’s not tell Lat, the shock might kill him. [Katz Justice]
* Maybe it’s time lawyers started looking out for each other. This is a theme we’ve touched on before. [Law and More]
* The hell? Parents arrested for letting their 9-year-old go to the park alone? Suffocating parenting is bad enough without the government expecting it of parents. [Slate]
* CPAs are suing the IRS because the regulation of tax preparers lacks Congressional approval. Because we need more folks off the street claiming to be tax preparers. [TaxProf Blog]
* Lawyer and former South Carolina GOP executive director Todd Kincannon is under investigation by the South Carolina Office of Disciplinary Counsel for basically being a dick on Twitter. As Ken White notes, the First Amendment is all about giving guys like this a forum. [Slate]
* Funny that SCOTUS just struck down a law imposing a 35-foot buffer zone around abortion clinics, yet it heavily enforces its own buffer zone. Some call it “supreme irony.” [WSJ Law Blog]
* Despite the slacking demand for legal services — down by 8.8 percent in terms of billable hours — members of the Am Law 100 still managed to keep their heads above water. [Am Law Daily]
* Lorin Reisner, chief of the criminal division of S.D.N.Y.’s USAO and Preet Bharara’s right-hand man on Wall Street convictions, is leaving for greener pastures at Paul Weiss. Congrats! [Reuters]
* New York State’s highest court has rejected New York City’s ban on gigantic drinks that was previously proposed by Mayor Michael Bloomberg. Go on, have yourself a nice Quadruple Big Gulp. [Bloomberg]
* When the long arm of the law flushes the toilet, it sometimes explodes, raining down jagged shards of justice. But on a more serious note, we’re happy no one was hurt at this courthouse. [Billings Gazette]
Jennifer Lopez’s ex accused of cheating on her with transsexuals. His lawyer threatens to sue. What comes next is a hilarious smackdown about the First Amendment.
Is Vermont’s new food labeling law a good idea? Conservative columnist Tamara Tabo has her doubts.
* Boies Schiller announced it will be working with Hausfeld LLP for the limited purpose of creating a new practice group that will allow the firms to co-represent professional athletes. (Sorry, college athletes, you don’t count yet.) [Bloomberg]
* It’s highly likely that departing White House counsel Kathryn Ruemmler will return to her former stomping grounds at Latham & Watkins. Imagine how many pairs of shoes she’ll be able to buy with her Biglaw money. [Washington Post]
* Governor Andrew Cuomo is so desperate to keep the Buffalo Bills in Western New York that he recently inked a $350K deal with Foley & Lardner to convince the team’s future owners to stay put. [Buffalo News]
* The Above the Law Top 50 Law School Rankings are virtually ungameable, but Kyle McEntee of Law School Transparency proposes a novel way deans can try: by lowering tuition. GASP! [Law.com (reg. req.)]
* Marc Randazza, one of the preeminent lawyers on First Amendment rights (who happens to represent us from time to time), thinks what happened to Don Sterling was “morally wrong.” Interesting theory. [CNN]