Ed. note: Please welcome Elizabeth Adams, who will be covering health and wellness in the legal profession. You can read her full bio at the end of this post.
It’s virtually impossible to get decent advice about whether to go to law school. On the one hand, you have advice from non-lawyers, like your mom, who will promise you that even if you don’t like it, you can do anything with a law degree. On the other hand, you have advice from actual lawyers, who will tell you the exact opposite. I, like many others, made the decision to listen to my mom rather than the many, many practicing attorneys who warned me about the realities of the profession. Although this somehow seemed like a rational choice at the time, I realize, in retrospect, I should have taken the advice of counsel.
It’s true, being a lawyer is hard. Even on a good day it is both extremely boring and highly stressful — a unique combination found in few other jobs. Equally troubling to me, however, is the toll it takes on your body. Indeed, recent studies have shown that sitting as much as lawyers do is bad for the body, and the physical effects of sleep deprivation are well documented and pretty serious. Of course, I don’t need scientific studies to confirm what appears obvious to me on a daily basis. Many lawyers I encounter seem perpetually exhausted and sort of sickly. Some are much worse than that, appearing as if they are in need of urgent medical attention. Lawyers, it seems, are literally dying at their desks…
* Wal-Mart may recall loads of donkey meat from their stores. Not because they sold donkey meat — they intended to do that — but because there was fox meat mixed in. What does the Fox Say? Nothing, because it was ground into donkey meat. The end. [MSN Money]
* Of course Colorado got rid of mile marker 420. But it’s not because they don’t like weed — it’s legal there, after all — check out the real reason. [Lowering the Bar]
* A listing of this lawyer’s previous representations. In the words of our tipster: “Don’t know what’s worse: Courtney Love or the Gambino crime family.” [Andrew Mancilla, Esq.]
* The Ninth Circuit gave the go-ahead for about 60,000 tech workers to sue Google, Apple, and other companies for artificially driving down wages by agreeing not to poach each others’ employees. Hey, give these folks some love, not every one of them is going to go start a new video game company. [Reuters]
* A lot of Cuban-American families in Miami blow a lot of money on quinceañeras. Here’s a way to recoup some funds: throw a completely innocent party and wait for the cops to come by and commit police brutality. This guy netted $90,000 that way. [Miami New Times]
A woman in North Dakota decided to hand out letters to trick-or-treaters that she deemed obese, explaining that she would not give candy to the overweight and chastising parents for letting their kids get this way.
Yeah, she’s a b**ch.
But it got Joe and Elie arguing about the ill-fated New York soda ban and whether the government — as opposed to a random lady in North Dakota — has any legitimate role in policing obesity….
Chilis, Sugar, Salt, Garlic, Distilled Vinegar, Potassium Sorbate, Sodium Bisulfate as preservatives, and Xanthan Gum.
That’s how you make Sriracha sauce. Is it tasty? Sure. Does a hipster-filled Asian restaurant absolutely reek of the stuff? Yes.
Now imagine what it smells like to live next to the Sriracha factory where they mass produce that stuff, pumping out a dense cloud of vaporized high-octane chili vinegar 24/7. The residents of Irwindale, California don’t have to imagine, and the city has decided it’s sick and tired of living next to the cock-emblazoned factory and filed suit to shut down the plant.
It hasn’t taken long for the short-sighted, “screw lawyers” media narrative to take off…
One of the best things about my job is when I get to speak to law students on campus. I like talking to people, and I like dodging bullets from law school deans — it’s really the only exercise I get.
If you are kind of enough to pay for my travel and invite me to speak to your student group, I really don’t care if people leave in the middle of my talk. I know that sometimes students come to these things to grab a free lunch and then cut out, but even if you come to hear me for five minutes, I’m appreciative. The way I see it:
A. If I’m not an entertaining enough person to hold people’s attention for an hour, that’s on me. That’s my fault. It’s not like people walk out of a Louis C.K. performance five minutes in. I’m not as good as he is, but again, that’s my problem, not yours.
B. Five minutes is a REALLY LONG TIME. That’s as long as a Saturday Night Live monologue. It’s longer than the iconic Simpsons opening. You can attempt three forward passes and a punt in five minutes. You can kill a man with your bare hands in five minutes. I would love to be able to give everybody a free lunch who spent five minutes with one of my articles. My traffic would instantly quadruple and I’d be a rich man (mainly from the replication and teleportation technologies, but still). If you are willing to listen to me for even five minutes, thank you.
Of course, not everybody thinks like me. Speaking in front of people is a fundamentally egotistical adventure, and egomaniacs are liable to become butthurt when you get up and walk out in the middle of one of their sentences. They expect you to stay and hear all the details about how they sat with Arthur Miller masturbating to Nancy Grace reading the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure.
And so one law school student organization is trying to do something about these diners and dashers, while another one thinks people should chill out with the rule making. See if you can guess which ones…
Does anybody really think Red Bull is good for you? For a moment, I’m not talking about legal standards or product safety or efficacious warning labels. I’m asking, just between us, don’t we all know that ingesting caffeine and sugar bombs is not a healthy thing? People aren’t supposed to have wings. We are terrestrial beings. I’d guess that every ingested substance that has ever made humans feel like they’ve slipped the bonds of gravity is bad for you.
A Brooklyn man downed a Red Bull, played some basketball, had a heart attack, and died. Does it really surprise anybody that this happens every now and again?
Okay, now put your “law talking” hats back on. Is it a wrongful death when somebody drinks something, dies, and everybody besides the manufacturer kind of shrugs and thinks, “Yeah, that’ll dog you”? This lawsuit alleging fraud, failure to warn, and breach of warranty by Red Bull manufacturers is surprising only insofar as it hasn’t been brought a hundred times already…
This is an absurd lawsuit. It’s about tacos. Because Elie spent today at CNBC appearing on Power Lunch along with Staci, I get to write this story instead, which is probably for the best because I can emotionally distance myself from the possibility that a taco dispensary may have to go out of business.
Two restaurants are squaring off in court over allegedly purloined taco recipes.
Yes, Biglaw partners are actually making statements about taco litigation…
Jiminy jillickers! ATL editors are going all over the place over the next month or so. Or at least all over the Eastern Seaboard. If we aren’t heading to your neck of the woods on these trips, never fear, we may hit you up on the next time around. We’ve already hit up Houston, Chicago, Seattle, San Francisco, and Los Angeles in the past year.
Kinney Recruiting’sEvan Jowers is currently in Hong Kong for client meetings and still has a few slots available through October 22. Evan will also be in Hong Kong November 14 to December 15. Further, Robert Kinney has been in Frankfurt and Munich this week and is available for meetings with our Germany based readers.
One of our key law firm clients has referred us to one of their important clients in the US, Europe and China – a leading global technology supplier for the auto industry – in order to handle their search for a new Asia General Counsel and Asia Chief Compliance Officer.
Kinney is exclusively handling this in-house search.
This position will have a lot of responsibility and include supervision of eight attorneys underneath them in the Asia in-house team. The new hire will report directly to the global general counsel and global chief compliance officer, who is based in the US. The new hire’s ability to make judgement calls is going to be as important as their technical skill set background.
The position is based in Shanghai and will deal with the company’s operations all over Asia and also in India, including frequent acquisitions in the region.
It is expected that the new hire will come from a top US firm’s Shanghai, Beijing or Hong Kong offices, currently in a top flight corporate practice at the senior associate, counsel or partner level. Of course, the candidate can be currently in a relevant in-house role.
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However, with these new powers come new pain points. InvestorID FirmTM provides a secure, fully hosted, cloud-based platform with a breadth of tools for your clients, including: