Football

* “Next thing I know he knocks me over backwards, puts the pillow over me and he cuts my throat and stabs me.” Law firm partner Leo Fisher testified yesterday in the trial against Andrew Schmuhl, the lawyer accused of abducting and maliciously wounding him. We’ll have more on this horrifying testimony later. [Washington Post]

* In a move that’s sure to attract attention (and ire) from the Justice Department’s Antitrust Division, Bayer has offered to buy Monsanto for $62 billion. This may be the largest all-cash takeover in history, so we wonder which law firms will have the pleasure of reaping all the rewards that come with so huge of a deal representation. [Reuters]

* “Can citizens sue the government over climate change?” Great legal minds are divided over the answer to this question. Constitutional law scholar Erwin Chemerinsky says yes, but international law savant Eric Posner says no. Whatever you think is the right answer, it’s time we get more aggressive on this issue. [Room for Debate / New York Times]

* With Ted Olson quarterbacking Tom Brady’s request for an en banc hearing of his four-game Deflategate suspension before the Second Circuit, perhaps this case has a fighting chance. Patriots fans should be praying, because an en banc hearing could result in their QB’s suspension being stayed for the start of the season. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Victims of the Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood attack have filed suit against the clinic, claiming the shooting was both “predictable and preventable.” They say that given the past history of threats of violence against places where abortions are performed, patrons should’ve been alerted that they were at risk of injury or death. [Denver Post]

* Gauging the importance of Supreme Court decisions this Term based on media coverage. [Empirical SCOTUS]

* Georgia is changing state law because UGA’s football coach thinks it might help the team cover up a scandal and somehow the legislature thinks this makes sense. [SB Nation]

* Did President Obama outthink himself on the Merrick Garland pick? [Guile Is Good]

* Using expert witnesses to defeat class certification… an emerging tradition. [The Expert Institute]

* Some graphics cross-referencing the laws around “burners” and global terrorism. [imgur]

* Restraining order be damned! Montgomery Blair Sibley is releasing D.C. Madam contacts for our viewing pleasure. [WTOP]

* What lawyer Scott Limmer learned from a yoga retreat. [Law Reboot]

* An odd order? Perhaps in an attempt to avoid yet another 4-4 split in a controversial case, SCOTUS justices have ordered parties on both sides of the contraceptive coverage battle in Zubik to file briefs describing how such coverage could be provided without religious groups having to put forth much effort to formally object. [Associated Press]

* “It’s mind bogglingly obvious, but often gets lost in the mix. Apart from checking there aren’t any conflicts, clients are rarely put at the heart of these mergers.” Go figure, but according to a new report by professional services consultancy Gulland Padfield, law firm mergers usually don’t benefit clients in any way, shape, or form. [Am Law Daily]

* It seems that Russian cybercriminal “Oleras” has hired hackers to break into the computer systems of 48 Biglaw firms so he can collect confidential client data and then trade on the stolen insider information. Thus far, he’s been unsuccessful. Has your law firm been targeted? If you’d like to know, check the list here. [Crain’s Chicago Business]

* The NFL is so pissed that the New York Times recently published a story linking the league to the tobacco industry that it not only wrote a two-part rebuttal that was more than 3000 words long, but it also sicced Paul Weiss attorneys on the paper of record in search of a retraction, claiming that the story was defamatory in nature. [Yahoo! Sports]

* “I will not go down. I want Bill Cosby in court.” A Los Angeles judge has ruled that model Janice Dickinson’s defamation case against Bill Cosby can move forward so that a jury can decide whether her allegations of rape are truthful, and further, whether a “liar” comment made by the comedian’s ex-lawyer, Marty Singer, was defamatory. [Telegram]

* When Virginia Law Weekly and the Virginia Law Review played their annual football game in 1970, then-Professor Antonin Scalia served as the referee. At the end of one play — that ended in a momentum-changing interception — Scalia overturned the result with a critical “too many men on the field” call. If anyone knew the importance of a recount, it was Justice Scalia. [More Us (UVA Law Library)]

* More fallout on the propriety of Justice Scalia’s trip to Cibolo Creek Ranch as a guest of John Poindexter — who had business before the Court last year. Was that ethical? Well, always remember that in the sober world of judicial ethics, the Sigma Nu kegger. [National Law Journal]

* Speaking of Justice Scalia, with a political fight set to embroil the Court, perhaps Chief Justice Roberts should take a lesson from Chief Justice Hughes. [Maryland Appellate Blog]

* Former Scalia clerks describe their experiences working for the late justice. First up, conservative Justice Joan L. Larsen of the Michigan Supreme Court. [New York Times]

* And Gang, Tyre, Ramer & Brown partner Tara Kole on the unique challenges and rewards of serving as Scalia’s “liberal clerk.” [Washington Post]

* Looking to the next Supreme Court appointment, these charts really drive home President Obama’s commitment to opening the federal judiciary to lawyers, judges, and professors traditionally locked out of the “old boys’ club.” [Wonkblog / Washington Post]

* Did a lawyer just commit suicide by police? Over a $16,000 debt? That’s all? [Jane Genova]

* Now that Rudy Giuliani’s in the news again thanks to his departure from his namesake firm, he’s letting his opinions be known on all sorts of things relevant to lawyers and law students. In fact, he thinks law school should be four years long. Go back into the woodwork, Rudy. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* After a decade on SCOTUS, Justice Samuel Alito hasn’t strayed from his conservative roots like some of his colleagues. He “has been every bit as conservative as conservatives could have dreamed — and as liberals would have feared.” [ABA Journal]

* Prior to Martin Shkreli’s arrest, prosecutors obtained a secret order nullifying attorney-client privilege in communications between the pharma bro and his Biglaw attorney. Per records, this case has been ongoing since before he outed himself as a d-bag. [Reuters]

* “Whether I want to marry or not, it should be my right to decide.” China’s first-ever lawsuit challenging its ban on same-sex marriage is expected to be heard in court today. In a country as conservative as China, this could be revolutionary. [New York Times]

* Shake those pom-poms, because the New York Jets have reached a settlement with the team’s cheerleaders in a lawsuit filed over alleged wage theft. The J-E-T-S will pay out $324,000, making it the fourth NFL team to settle such a suit. [New York Daily News]