Gender

All attorneys should proof their communications for language that undermines their credibility.

* Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are getting divorced — even she couldn’t stand the thought of him being Batman. Celebrity divorces don’t come cheap, and you know what that must mean: high-powered lawyers and even higher rates for their billable hours! [CNN]

* “[H]ow young would you go…I’d do 5[,] [b]ut 0-12 is hot.” Well, that’s absolutely disgusting. Matthew Gigot, an attorney who does doc review in the D.C. area, was charged in a child pornography case for sexual performance using a minor. [FOX 5 DC]

* The main line of defense as of late in the Dewey trial for the former head honchos of this failed firm is that everyone sends out embarrassing — and potentially incriminating — emails from time to time. We know all abput that here at Above the Law. [WSJ Law Blog]

* “Put down the bong, throw out the vaporizer and lose the rolling papers.” If you’re hoping to land a job at any federal agency any time in the near future, then you better quit your toking as soon as possible, even if it’s legal in your state. [New York Times]

* Here’s some sad news for women who are interested in taking home their apparently delicious and nutritious placentas to feast upon after their children are born in hospitals: it’s only completely legal in three states — Hawaii, Oregon, and Texas. [The Stir]

What do you say, dear readers -- is this clever marketing and intelligent defense of lawsuits, or offensive bigotry?

In a profession ruled by men, these Biglaw firms have taken steps to level the playing field for women.

* From Fuller House to the Big House? Actor John Stamos was arrested for driving under the influence and briefly hospitalized this weekend. Listen, Uncle Jesse, we know you’re still a celebrity, per se, but as Joey Gladstone would say, you really need to cut it out, capice? [Variety]

* “You’re right, I am the man.” Former U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder received a warm reception during his keynote at the American Constitution Society convention’s opening gala this weekend when an audience member shouted out, “Eric Holder, you the man!” [Legal Times]

* Lawyers, here’s a useful practice pointer on “reverse sexism.” Per a new study, men on three-judge panels of federal appellate courts tend to “view women as damsels in distress who need their protection,” but are much harsher on male litigants. [WSJ Law Blog]

* More law schools are opening solo incubators and firms, boosting their employment stats and losing hundreds of thousands of dollars along the way. Rutgers Law lost $100K, but it’s a small price to pay to make it look like your grads get “jobs.” [Associated Press]

* “Time to engage counsel?” This is the question that parents are being forced to ask themselves in the face of legal liability waivers for post-prom parties. Seriously? Man, am I glad I was in high school before parents became contractual killjoys. [New York Times]

Being a working mom can be a very isolating experience, particularly if you work in an office without a lot of other working mothers.

* It’s summer associate season in Biglaw, so here are some tips to help you not completely screw up your futures. (But if you do catch someone misbehaving, make sure to send your friends here at ATL a tip.) [MoneyBeat / Wall Street Journal]

* Break out the vuvuzelas, because Loretta Lynch just scored herself a gigantic GOOOOAAAALLLL!!!! Several of FIFA’s top officials were arrested in Switzerland for extradition to America to face federal corruption charges over years of alleged racketeering and wire fraud. [New York Times]

* “Not all the evidence that you hear and see will be riveting.” The Dewey & LeBoeuf financial crimes trial may be sexy for Biglaw aficianados, but at least one of the prosecutors on the case had the courtesy to warn jurors they’d be bored. [Am Law Daily]

* Which Biglaw firms are the best places for new fathers to work? According to a recent report from Fatherly, a digital parenting resource for men, Arnold & Porter, Alston & Bird, and Baker Donelson all have pretty nice paternity leave policies. [Nooga.com; Fatherly]

* At some law firms, working part-time or on a flexible schedule isn’t necessarily a career killer for women, but that doesn’t change the fact that at other firms, doing so means that “they’re no longer on that partnership/management track.”[Crain’s Chicago Business]

* Daniel Meltzer, Story Professor of Law at Harvard Law School, former Principal Deputy Counsel to President Obama, and federal courts scholar, RIP. [Legal Theory Blog]

* Andrew and Alecia Schmuhl, the husband-and-wife lawyer duo accused of treating a law firm managing partner and his wife to a “torture session,” had a hearing this week where it was revealed that Andrew allegedly slit the managing partner’s throat. [Washington Post]

* ‘We’re asking you to choose life. Yes, even for the Boston Marathon bomber.” Jurors began deliberating in the death penalty phase of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s trial late yesterday afternoon. It’s worth noting that the last time someone was executed in Massachusetts was 70 years ago. [Boston Globe]

* “Explaining these persistent gender disparities in income … has proven to be much more difficult than simply identifying them.” Per a study conducted by Harvard Law, the wage gap for women in the law has been growing since 1975. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* The deadly Amtrak derailment hit too close to home for attorneys in the Northeast who travel frequently on the Acela line. In fact, some of our best tips have come from Acela trips. Our thoughts are with those who were affected by the crash. [National Law Journal]

* A sexy little spat: Dov Charney, the ex-CEO of American Apparel, filed a $20M defamation suit against the company, claiming that despite what employees were told, he never agreed that he’d stay away from American Apparel for good. [Los Angeles Times]

Which firms had the best options available to both women and men? Let’s take a look at the latest rankings.

Flex-time for the dads? Mommy Dear is all for it. And firms should be, too, because it just might mean that a Biglaw mommy can bill more hours if someone lets dad come home once in a while.

No matter how high your earnings, if you get arrested for domestic violence, you'll find yourself sitting on a bench in the front of the courtroom right next to the lowly perps with rap sheets as developed as your stock portfolio.

Maybe we should all embrace a bit more flexibility, and cut the working moms a little slack.

Lawyer moms are the real deal -- and they're scary.

* This would-be POTUS can’t jump? Ted Ruger, Penn Law’s new dean, used to hang out with Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz during law school, and he’d “like to think that [their] legal skills far exceeded [their] mediocre basketball skills.” [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* Why do we still need law schools considering the crisis in the legal academy? Please allow Noah Feldman of Harvard Law — an unbiased law professor — to explain why “law school is absolutely essential — not for lawyers with clients, but for our society as a whole.” [Bloomberg View]

* Apparently there’s some major drama going down with regard to which attorneys will argue the same-sex marriage cases before the Supreme Court. It seems that no one wants to give up their 15 minutes of fame before the high court. Sigh. [National Law Journal]

* These days, law schools are looking at more than their applicants’ GPAs and LSAT scores. Prospective law students now need to be “well-rounded and involved.” For what it’s worth, not minding going into debt is a helpful trait, too. [Omaha World-Herald]

* Another day, another gender bias lawsuit in Silicon Valley: This time around, Tina Huang, a female software engineer who used to work for Twitter, is alleging that the company’s secret promotion process bypasses women and favors men. [CNET]

Biglaw, why not just let us lock our doors and keep working? We can bill and breastfeed at the same time, if only you’ll let us.

* A ballsy decision dripping with prestige? It seems that a few too many students at Yale Law School requested access to their student admissions evaluation records under FERPA, so instead of handing them over, Yale deleted them. [New Republic]

* Here’s some good news for women attorneys visiting clients in Massachusetts jails: you’ll no longer be forced to lift up your shirt and shake out your bra if your underwire makes the metal detector go off. Instead, you’ll get felt up a pat down. [Boston Globe]

* According to early data culled for the Am Law 100 rankings, from revenue to profits per partner to revenue per lawyer, Winston & Strawn posted record financial results in 2014. Perhaps the days of no-offers and layoffs are long gone for this firm. [Am Law Daily]

* Just because more people took the LSAT in February, it doesn’t mean that the law school crisis is over. It does, however, mean that law school administrators may soon be wishcasting the year-over-year growth of their first-year classes. [National Law Journal]

* Rahul Gupta, the graduate student who used the tried and true “my girlfriend did it” defense during his trial for the fatal stabbing of a Georgetown Law student, was convicted on first-degree murder charges yesterday. He’ll be sentenced on April 16. [WJLA]

It seems that one of the biggest problems facing the Virginia justice system is not its gross prosecution and over-incarceration of minorities, but women lawyers in skirts.

* Today’s inspirational human being: An ordained minister in Alabama was arrested after offering to perform a same-sex marriage inside a probate judge’s office. She says she’ll do it again, even though she knows she’ll likely be rearrested for doing so. [USA Today]

* Meanwhile, Judge Callie V.S. Granade will hear arguments on whether she must order Alabama judges to issue marriage license to gay couples. Granade is the one who ruled the state’s ban was unconstitutional in the first place. [New York Times]

* Per Major Lindsey & Africa’s 2014 Partner Compensation Survey, women partners have finally beaten men when it comes to law firm compensation. Wait, no, that’s not true, it’s just an “anomaly,” and “[t]hese women might be outliers.” [The Careerist]

* Blank Rome’s ex-chairman donated $5M to Villanova Law to establish an ethics and compliance center. You’re a few years too late, pal. The school could’ve used an ethics and compliance center to avert its admissions scandal. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* “The legal profession can benefit from more diversity. Should those students only attend low-ranked law schools? Absolutely not.” As we mentioned previously, law school diversity has improved, but only at the bottom. [National Law Journal]

* People keep asking Justice Ginsburg how many women she thinks will be “enough” for the SCOTUS bench, and she keeps giving us the same amazing answer. Flip the page to find out what the Notorious R.B.G. thinks. [Mother Jones]

* Law school deans gone wild! From sex scandals to rankings rumpuses, here’s a look at the crazy and sometimes criminal activities that law school administrators and faculty members have been accused of over the years. [National Law Journal]

* “That’s it. Case dismissed. Your behavior is contemptuous.” Adriana Ferreyr, the on-again, off-again girlfriend of George Soros who filed a $50 million lawsuit over a $2 million apartment, allegedly went “berserk” in court… yet again. [Dealbreaker]

* The job market would like to wish the legal profession a very unhappy New Year. According to the latest report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the legal sector lost 1,400 jobs in January, with overall jobs down by 4,500 since last year. [Am Law Daily]

* “I felt like my head was just mush inside, and I thought, ‘I’m dying.'” Mary Margaret Farren, the former Skadden attorney who survived her ex-husband’s brutal attack on her life, recounts the flashlight bludgeoning that nearly killed her. [ABC News]

* Is there no relief in sight for law schools? Moody’s says: “This continued decrease in student demand is consistent with our belief that the legal industry is experiencing a fundamental shift rather than a cyclical trend.” [Indianapolis Business Journal]

(Flip to the next page to see how many women Justice Ginsburg thinks SCOTUS needs.)

http://youtu.be/vJs1H5tQlDc

Even worker-ants can create an environment where the benefits of diversity can take root.