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* A Michigan lawyer is giving away a free divorce for Valentine’s Day. How romantic… [Fox News]

* Google is paying millions to resolve allegations that it discriminated against female and Asian job applicants. [Bloomberg Law]

* A paralegal in Texas is accused of embezzling around $40,000 from her former employer. [ABC News]

* A settlement has been reached in a lawsuit about the alleged lack of Spanish-language voting materials in Florida. [NBC News]

* Quinn Emanuel is apparently operating an office in Atlanta out of a former partner’s home. Since everyone is working from home anyways, this seems completely normal. [Bloomberg Law]

* Google is asking that an antitrust lawsuit filed against it be moved from Texas to California. Interesting, seems like Silicon Valley types keep moving from California to Texas… [Reuters]

* A group called Lawyers Defending American Democracy are calling for Rudy Giuliani to face professional discipline over his work for President Trump. [Hill]

* A judge has ruled that a lawsuit seeking to dissolve the National Rifle Association can move forward. [ABC News]

* Numerous lawsuits have been filed over the helicopter crash last year that killed NBA star Kobe Bryant, his daughter, and several other passengers. [USA Today]

*Alan Dershowitz claims that the Senate does not have jurisdiction to hold President Trump’s impeachment trial. Sounds a little like a “sovereign citizen” argument… [Law & Crime]

* A federal judge has dismissed a lawsuit filed by a man who was reportedly arrested for being naked in a hotel. Maybe his pleadings were bare… [Fox News]

* Rudy Giuliani reportedly claims he cannot be an impeachment lawyer for President Trump because he may be a witness in the case. [Business Insider]

* State attorneys general are preparing yet another lawsuit against Google. [Fox News]

* The D.C. Attorney General has suggested that President Trump may face criminal charges related to the riot at the Capitol earlier this month. [CNN]

* The CEO of MyPillow has been threatened with litigation by a voting systems company. Guess it’s time to hit the mattresses… [Hill]

* A-Rod is facing allegations of racketeering and embezzlement in a new lawsuit filed by his former brother-in-law. If true, maybe he just doesn’t like playing by the rules… [New York Post]

* A Massachusetts lawyer is suing Google for returning search results whenever a user searches his name. [Boston.com]

* A lawyer for PBS has resigned after he was secretly recorded as part of a Project Veritas sting. [ABC News]

* A well-known lawyer in Pensacola, Florida, has died of COVID-19 at age 83. [Pensacola News Journal]

* The lawyer for a man allegedly seen carrying a lectern around the Capitol during the riot last week replied “I’m not a magician” when asked about how he would defend his client. Guess he has no plans to make any charges disappear… [Fox News]

* Michael Cohen, President Trump’s former lawyer, is arguing for early release from home confinement. To be completely fair, most of us are confined to our homes right now… [Hill]

* Google is facing two more antitrust lawsuits filed by four publishers. [Fox Business]

* The L.A. City Attorney is warning against driving under the influence this holiday season because hospitals are filling up with COVID-19 patients. [KTLA]

* Attorney General Barr has unveiled new charges over the 1988 Lockerbie bombing. [USA Today]

* Netflix has settled a lawsuit with the Conan Doyle estate over the film Enola Holmes. Elementary! [Hollywood Reporter]

* A man has won a federal lawsuit against his parents for throwing away “a trove of pornography and an array of sex toys.” Sure hope they kept his baseball card collection… [Michigan Live]

* A Florida lawyer may face suspension from practice for allegedly having sex with and impregnating a client. [Daily Business Review]

* A federal judge has refrained from imposing a monetary penalty on a lawyer who said they are “not dicking around with a rookie” during a deposition. [ABA Journal]

* Vanessa Bryant, wife of late basketball player Kobe Bryant, is being sued by her mother for allegedly not paying her mom for her supposed work as a “longtime personal assistant and nanny.” [Fox News]

* A voting-machine company is demanding that a pro-Trump attorney retract claims made about voting machines made by the business. [ABC News]

* Google is now facing its third antitrust lawsuit. Guess third time’s a charm… [CNN]

* A new lawsuit alleges that a beer manufacturer falsely claimed its brew was made in Mexico instead of Holland. Would be amazing if free beer is part of any settlement… [Fox Business]

* Carter Page has filed a lawsuit against the FBI and others for allegedly illicit surveillance during the Russia investigation. [USA Today]

* The legal challenges facing the Attorney General of Texas may impede the state’s antitrust claims against Google. [Wall Street Journal]

* A man sought in the slaying of an Illinois lawyer is on the FBI’s Most Wanted List. [Fox News]

* Since Above the Law hasn’t had a “Lawyerly Lairs” feature in a while, wanted to share that a top Las Vegas attorney has placed his multimillion-dollar mansion on the market. [Review-Journal]

* Law enforcement personnel have filed a lawsuit to stop the legalization of marijuana in South Dakota. The Super Troopers would have never done this… [Hill]

* The New York Attorney General is suing the Buffalo diocese for an alleged “sex abuse cover-up.” [BBC]

* New Jersey has passed a new law aimed at protecting home addresses and other information of judges and other public officials after the family of a New Jersey federal judge was attacked earlier this year. [NBC News]

* The Attorney General of Indiana must pay around $19,000 in expenses related to a disciplinary investigation stemming from groping allegations. [Chicago Tribune]

* A group of U.S. states is planning on filing another antitrust action against Google next month. Seems like there is a “googolplex” amount of antitrust litigation against Google… [Reuters]

* Jennifer Lopez’s production company has successfully dismissed a defamation lawsuit filed by the alleged inspiration for the film Hustles. Guess JLo refused to get hustled… [Hollywood Reporter]

* Lawyers for the Trump Campaign are facing rebukes from judges because of post-election lawsuits. [Washington Post]

* An LA judge has refused to remove Britney Spears’s father from his role in a court conservatorship over his daughter. [Guardian]

* A Colorado lawyer is in hot water for allegedly having sexual relations with a client, among other purported ethical violations. [Denver Post]

* Google is facing antitrust lawsuits in addition to the one recently filed by the Department of Justice. Looks like a case of pile-on. [National Law Journal]

* The judge in the Google antitrust case just set the first hearing in the lawsuit. Maybe the parties scheduled it through Google Hangouts… [Fox Business]

* Amy Coney Barrett was confirmed by the Senate and sworn in last night as an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States. [New York Times]

* Another lawyer, who accused the Attorney General of Texas of criminal acts, has resigned. [Seattle Times]

* A lawsuit filed by the estate of a Holocaust survivor featured in the new Borat movie has been dismissed. [Deadline]

* A former employee at Goldman Sachs is suing the company for sexual misconduct allegedly committed by a top lawyer at the shop. [Business Insider]

* The Idaho Attorney General is warning of fake COVID-19 cures. It’s like the Carbolic Smoke Ball all over again… [Idaho Statesman]

* The Department of Justice has filed an antitrust lawsuit against Google. Don’t get it, people still use Ask Jeeves, AOL Keywords, and Prodigy, right…? (I’m really dating myself here!) [Wall Street Journal]

* Lawyers at Jones Day have purportedly donated far more money to Joe Biden than President Trump, even though the firm is working on President Trump’s re-election campaign. [Reuters]

* The Los Angeles District Attorney and her husband are being sued over an incident earlier this year in which the husband of LA’s district attorney allegedly pointed a gun at protesters. [Fox News]

* President Trump has requested that Attorney General Barr investigate Hunter Biden for alleged improprieties. [Bloomberg Law]

* New Hampshire is suing Massachusetts in the Supreme Court of the United States for taxing New Hampshire residents even though they are working remotely. This is going to be a “wicked” interesting case. [Fox News]

* Lawyers argued yesterday that a TikTock ban would be “devastating.” Many would definitely be devastated if they couldn’t see humorous videos during the quarantine… [Verge]

* A lawyer at Debevoise and Plimpton has had his protest-related charges dropped. [American Lawyer]

* Google’s parent company has settled a lawsuit claiming that it failed to properly handle sexual misconduct allegations against executives. [CNBC]

* The Los Angeles District Attorney’s Office will not prosecute a journalist who is accused of interfering with an arrest earlier this month. [New York Times]

* The New York Attorney General is suggesting that the NYPD stop making routine traffic stops. Unclear if this will have any impact on the always-congested FDR Drive… [AP]

* A lawyer in India appeared at a virtual hearing in a T-shirt lying in bed last week. This attorney should have read our earlier coverage of American lawyers making similar mistakes during remote appearances. [Tribune]

* The U.S. Attorney in Manhattan made clear that he was fired and did not voluntary step down. [Reuters]

* Black female YouTube creators have filed suit alleging that the algorithm used for the video-sharing website is racist. [AdWeek]

* Some New Jersey attorneys are in hot water for allegedly agreeing to pay bribes to secure government contracts for legal services. [New Jersey Law Journal]

* A Texas lawyer is now facing a $6 million judgment even though he failed to attend the summary judgment hearing due to scheduling confusion caused by COVID-19. Seems like this attorney has good arguments for a reconsideration motion… [Texas Lawyer]

* Carole Baskin has been awarded the zoo once owned by Joe Exotic to satisfy a judgment from long-standing litigation between the two. Baskin should go after Exotic’s country music songs next. [BBC]

* A government lawyer says that the number of prisoners with COVID-19 at a federal lockup is likely seven times higher than previously reported. [ABC News]

* A Florida man has been convicted of fraud for claiming he represented The Village People and fleecing a casino out of $12,000. “It’s fun to stay at the ‘J.A.I.L.'” [Fox News]

* Google faces a $5 billion class action for tracking the internet usage of users even though browsers are set in “private” mode. [Reuters]

* Attorney General Barr is purported to have personally ordered protesters removed so President Trump could visit a church near the White House earlier this week. [CNN]

* A company has been ordered to pay $3.6 million in attorneys’ fees for their adversary on top of a $600,000 judgment and paying their own lawyers $5 million. Bet they wish they just settled the case earlier. [Chicago Law Bulletin]

* A top lawyer for Google’s parent company is resigning amid allegations of inappropriate relationships. [Washington Post]

* The Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court has appointed an Obama administration lawyer to oversee the implementation of reforms. [Fox News]

* President Trump’s former attorney Michael Cohen claims he deserves early release from prison. [Guardian]

* A Nebraska lawyer has been accused of accepting cocaine in lieu of fees. This guy better accept Bitcoin too… [NBC News]

* The federal jail where Jeffrey Epstein died is getting a new warden and a new lawyer. [New York Daily News]

* Prosecutors have expressed a desire to pursue federal death penalty charges against an individual accused of murdering a prominent attorney. [U.S. News & World Report]

* A look back at 40 years of Biglaw financials. Spoiler alert: they made a lot of money. [American Lawyer]

* Greg Craig was acquitted! Good news for all the lobbyists and foreign agents out there who (wink wink) aren’t lobbyists and foreign agents. [WSJ]

* Department of Labor official resigns after anti-Semitic social media posts surface. Frankly, one would’ve expected him to stay to own the libs. [Bloomberg Law]

* CVS and Aetna get their clearance to merge because despite all Judge Leon’s rage at DOJ he’s still just a rat in a cage that happens to keep people from caring about antitrust enforcement. [Law360]

* Simple way to fix harassment in Silicon Valley. [The Atlantic]

* It’s a day that ends in “y” so Dentons just got bigger. [Dentons]

* Does Chambers have a blindspot for women? [Careerist]

* For those of you following the Alphabet/Google CLO shenanigans, the GC just married an employee this weekend, but not the employee who says he neglected their baby after he had an affair with her while married to yet another person. [CNBC]