Graduation speakers

* You may think that your law school graduation speaker is cool, but you should think again, because your law school graduation speaker probably isn’t Vice President Joe Biden. This spring, the Veep will be delivering the commencement address at Syracuse Law, his alma mater. [Syracuse.com]

* Bill Mateja, one of Polsinell’s finest white-collar criminal defense attorneys, will be representing Texas AG Ken Paxton in his latest foray into the wrong side of the justice system. How do we know Bill Mateja is good at getting his clients off? “Unlike many attorneys, Bill Mateja does not expect repeat business.” [Big Law Business]

* The Supreme Court may be behind the times when it comes to technology (cellphones are typically banned inside the courtroom’s walls), but the justices will allow a group of about a dozen deaf and hard-of-hearing lawyers to use them to see a live transcript during their swearing-in ceremony next week. Congratulations to all! [ABC News]

* FBI Director James Comey acknowledges similarities between arguments made in the gun-control debate and Apple’s quest to maintain privacy through encryption, but says “[w]e can’t resolve these really important issues that affect our values — technology, innovation, safety and all kinds of other things — in litigation.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* “There’s a plaintiff who’s sure, his tunes could’ve made gold, and he’s buying a lawsuit in C.D. Cal.” Ever seen a cause of action for the falsification of rock n’ roll history? It’s taken about 40 years to happen, but now Led Zeppelin is going to trial over a copyright claim to its hit song “Stairway to Heaven.” [THR, Esq. / The Hollywood Reporter]

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Staci Zaretsky is an editor at Above the Law. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments. Follow her on Twitter or connect with her on LinkedIn.

How cool is your law school? It depends on who you've snagged as a graduation speaker.

Michelle Obama has motivated audiences throughout the nation with her personal stories, compelling anecdotes, and life lessons.

What a colorful commencement speech.

This was quite the graduation speech.

* We mentioned earlier this week that Charleston School of Law may suspend enrollment of first-year students next year. Perhaps the law school’s ultimate failure wouldn’t be a bad deal for students — a closed school loan discharge would actually be a blessing for them. [WSJ Law Blog]

* With law school graduation right around the corner, you can kiss your dreams of a Supreme Court justice delivering your commencement speech goodbye. Thus far, not a single SCOTUS jurist will deliver remarks at a 2015 ceremony. [National Law Journal]

* Per the latest report from Citi Private Bank’s Law Firm Group, law firm expenses outpaced revenue in the first quarter of 2015. Some of the biggest expenses are salaries, so maybe this is another reason why some firms are resorting to layoffs. [Am Law Daily]

* They should’ve just watched The Wire? Under Attorney General Loretta Lynch’s leadership, the Department of Justice is going to launch an investigation into whether the Baltimore Police Department has been involved in any discriminatory police work. [NPR]

* If you’re still trying to decide which law school to attend, you may want to consider one that has robust practicum offerings. Being “practice ready” after graduation supposedly does wonders for your job prospects. (Just kidding.) [U.S. News & World Report]

Who knew a U.S. Attorney could be so entertaining?

You'll soon wish Mindy Kaling was your commencement speaker after hearing this awesome speech.

Even Justice Scalia, a defender of the three-year model of law school, believes that some things have to change.

Graduation season is upon us, but has your law school selected a “crappy” commencement speaker?

Isn't it a bit early for a commencement speaker controversy?

* Growth was “steady” for New York’s top firms, with Latham & Watkins and Skadden Arps leading the pack in terms of gross revenue — which wasn’t surprising, considering their Am Law 100 gross revenue ranking. [New York Law Journal]

* Dewey know when we’ll be able to stop using this pun? Hmm, at this rate, probably never. Steve Otillar and Citi recently settled their dueling suits over the ex-D&L partner’s capital contribution loan to the failed firm. [Am Law Daily]

* Cahill Gordon was supposed to investigate the Rutgers basketball scandal, but the firm cited a conflict of interest, so Skadden Arps stepped in. [Insert the joke of your choice here. I don’t like or watch this sport.] [Reuters]

* Surely you’ve heard about Justice Orie Melvin’s sentence by now. As it turns out, shaming a judge like you’d shame your dog online might not be enforceable… which is too bad. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

* When we last spoke about “controversial” commencement speakers, we didn’t bring up the fact that Nancy Pelosi would be pulling double duty at UC Davis and Baltimore. Thoughts? [National Law Journal]

* She’s got a death wish: the aggravation phase of the Jodi Arias trial was postponed at the last minute yesterday, and some think it’s because of the interview she gave after the verdict was announced. [CNN]

Which school has made students unhappy with its choice of commencement speaker?

* “I’ve been a restaurant waitress, a hotel hostess, a car parker, a nurse’s aide, a maid in a motel, a bookkeeper and a researcher.” This SCOTUS wife was well-prepared to give a graduation speech at New England Law. [Huffington Post]

* Sniffling over lost profits is the best way to get a court to take your side. Biglaw firms have asked the Second Circuit to consider reversing a decision in the Coudert Brothers “unfinished business” clawback case. [Legal Intelligencer]

* James Holmes, the alleged Aurora movie theater gunman, is being evicted from his apartment. Guess he didn’t know — or care — that booby-trapping the place with bombs would be against the terms of his lease. [Denver Post]

* The ABA has created a task force to study the future of legal education, and its work is expected to completed in 2014. ::rolleyes:: Oh, good thing they’re not in any kind of a hurry — there’s no need to rush. [ABA Journal]

* Indiana Tech, the little law school that nobody wants could, has hired its first faculty members. Thus far, the school has poached law professors from from West Virginia, Florida A&M, and Northern Illinois. [JD Journal]

* When divorces get weird: is this lawyer’s soon-to-be ex-wife hacking into his law firm email account and planning to publish privileged communications online? Yep, this is in Texas. [Unfair Park / Dallas Observer]

* Breast-feeding porn: yup, that’s a thing, so start Googling. A New Jersey mother is suing an Iowa production company after an instructional video she appeared in was spliced to create pornography. [Boston Globe]

* If someone from your school newspaper asks you for a quote about oral sex, and then you’re quoted in the subsequent article, you’re probably not going to win your invasion of privacy lawsuit. [National Law Journal]

The student speaker at Cooley Law's graduation offers an... interesting perspective...

Will a commencement speaker this year cause a controversy?

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Here are a couple of things I learned last week: 1) Above the Law readers love commencement train wreck stories. 2) Emory Law students feel picked on. Armed with this new information, I bring you stories of commencement ridiculousness at schools with student bodies mature enough to take a little scrutiny. Graduation has come and […]

Yesterday I wrote about the Emory Law School commencement address delivered by Professor Sara Stadler. In it, she told graduating law student that their own “sense of entitlement” was standing in the way of their happiness. I’ve got nothing against Professor Stadler or Emory Law, but I personally thought this was the wrong note to […]

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